5 day suspension.

[pepperidge]

Your state department of education probably has an official complaint policy. If your school board has ruled you can't appeal to the sup't, but you can file a complaint with the state that your son's IEP is not being followed. If you school district knew that, they might be interested in taking a second look.... Also see if your start has an IEP partner type organization. They may be able to give you some advice on how to file the state complaint.

 

[Marg's Man]

This is Marg's usual approach.

If you can't get satisfactory results at a lower level, go to the next level who should be able to help and keep going until you get to the person with the "The Buck Stops Here" sign on their desk. Always tell the underlings that you are going over their heads. This sometimes gets them off their back sides before the higher ups get involved.

YOU don't care if you get egg on your face due to a complaint, it's your child here. THEY do care, it's their careers..

 

[Marguerite]

I see my husband has been here before me. Ours is a long, narrow house and he's been online in the kitchen while he ate his breakfast... he saw me posting here and suggested I check what he said before I send this.

Great minds...

Shari, I get the feeling that you have had past BIG problems here, but this year things have been so much better and they really seem to be trying to help, that you don't want to antagonise them. A sort of "don't rock the boat too hard" feeling.

I've been there - because we LIVE in the same very small village with the local school, we also live with the teachers in the same street, we're all neighbours and see each other every day year round - I have had to walk VERY carefully when it comes to nagging them to do things the right way.

What I have learned - yes, you can still nag (politely) and remain on good terms with these people. There are ways of being persistent and requiring them to do things correctly.

What used to work for me - I would maintain the attitude of, "We are all trying to work out the best way to help this child. We all are trying to do the right thing but sometimes we make mistakes. He should not be disadvantaged when the adults in his life (teachers and/or parents) get it wrong. We are a team. I am also loyal to the school. But where the loyalties have to split, loyalty to my child will come first and I WILL tell you when I feel you have made a wrong decision. I WILL do my utmost to ensure that my child's needs are met, I will not compromise on this. In all else, I will support the school and fight for the school with the same zeal I use for my child."

It sends a subtle under-message, not openly stated - "I could be the school's best friend or its worst enemy. Your choice."

There is a big difference between being polite and cooperative, and a doormat. You are at the moment at a crossroads, you are being pushed into doormat role by the salami tactics of this principal.

Look at it this way - if the full suspension (ten days) is followed, then you can immediately petition for the next stage of services. This actually puts more egg on the school's face so the principal choosing to "be nice" and cut it to five days - it's no favour at all, to you or wee. It's an attempt (it seems to me) to SEEM to be acknowledging that wee was not at fault; but if he REALLY was not at fault, there should be NO punishment.

The school board's mandate - WHY did they do anything at all? How did they even know about it? WHO told them? And when the school board was told, WHAT were they told?

Visualise a hypothetical scenario. Kids playing on the playground. Running around, having fun. Principal walks round the corner of the building just as running kid barrels into him. Is the running kid at fault? Maybe, if he wasn't looking where he was going. Is the principal at fault? Not really, although during play time it does help to go carefully around corners. But is it an assault? It really depends on who the teacher is who got run into, and who the kid is who did the running. If the running kid is the school's football champion and also all A student, nothing more would be said about it. But if the kid running into the teacher happens to be a known troublemaker, you can bet that this incident will be logged as something more than an accident.

It is ALWAYS subjective.

Wee has form, on file. A lot of that form is all the same sort of stuff - a kid with serious impulse control problems and anxiety issues, whose IEP is either not set up properly, or is not being followed, or both. This is plainly NOT following the spirit of the rules. If wee were a naughty kid who was choosing to cause trouble in order to be disruptive and thereby get out of work, then yes, he would deserve a stronger response and some level of punishment. But tat is NOT what happened here.

The school KNOWS that this kid needs a high level of support form specific staff. If those staff are not present, wee needs a viable alternative in place. That alternative is not in place - therefore, when things go wrong, and they WILL, it is NOT his fault, it is the school's. Not just the principal, either. The system has let this child down.
But were the board told this? And do the board realise that this is not the right way (morally certainly, probably not right legally, either) to handle the situation.

It IS possible to handle this without losing the relationship you are trying to develop with this new principal. But you are going to have to continually make difficult choices - get on well with the school, or challenge their choices to favour your child. When I look back at how I handled things, I gave the school the benefit of the doubt where I was unsure, but where I KNEW a situation was wrong, I stuck by my child. Politely, but firmly.
Result - they may not like me (they probably wouldn't have anyway) but I do get on with these people well, to this day. Teachers who I would not consider hiring if I were on an interview panel, people who I know were horrible to difficult child 3, are still coming up to speak to him or to me in the street to ask how he is getting on. I ask them about their children and grandchildren, we talk about the weather and the high price of real estate in the village - we get on well even though I have no respect for some of them professionally. others whose professionalism I have rated highly - I talk to them the same way. And I know they value me because they are the ones who quietly come to me for advice off the record about this new student, or that.

It came down to a choice between a good relationship with a school staff member, or my son.

No contest.

Marg

 

[susiestar]

My policy is a bit different than Marg's. It takes a bit of creativity to find the info to do this, but I am sure the info can be found.

If I have a problem I ask for the next rung up. Twice. If any rung is rude about it then I stop and go to the next step. I make sure to have every rung's contact info.

Then I go to the top. Problem with a teacher? Go to the principal. If no help? Go to MAYBE the superintendent, but mostly the head of the school board. No help? Head of the State school board.

It is a bit simpler with businesses. I go to the CEO of the parent company. If I have a problem with AT&T I go to the CEO's office. I even emailed him yesterday. Yes, of AT&T. I found his email online. It was clearly his. I got results.

For this, I would see what the BoE person can do. It is excellent that she is on the BoE. In our city it is all univ profs who want prestige on the Bored of Ed. I knew them as profs. They were bored even then. I would also post this on sp ed forum and be doing exactly, to the letter, what they say to do. Even if it is different than the BoE person because the sp ed ladies on our site are impressive and excellent and KNOW their stuff. The LAWS that the school MUST follow and how to do what the law needs so that the next step is taken.

It is pure unadulterated bs for the principal to say it has to be 5 days. Probably the principal should be suspended for 5 days with no pay. He AND the sp ed person should be held accountable because they have not given difficult child the services he needs. But that, just though it would be, probably won't happen.

 

[susiestar]

I am quite in line with Marg in that I always, politely and firmly, stand by my child also. It is not easy. Even with letters send via certified mail our school TRIED to extend the number of days to get testing done by saying it didn't start until I signed a specific permission form for the testing. I, very politely, took a copy of the law, and of a legal opinion that said that a letter was sufficient, if sent certified, to start the timeline even if a permission form was sent home. The form never was - they waited for me to ASK to even get the form. Tried to say it was sent home with my child, but as I picked him up at the classroom daily and his teacher saw me walk him to class every day, clearly it was NOT. Nothing was EVER given to him. It was always given to ME because I was there.

I let the principal know this. I gave him the opinion, and the copy of the law that says NOTHING about permission forms. I also let him know that lots of testing happens with-o a permission form and in this case the letter specifically stated it was giving "permission for testing to happen as soon as possible and was to be considered the equivalent of my signature on a form".

When I needed help just two weeks later because thank you was having his coat stolen on the bus on a regular basis the principal made a LOT of phone calls to other schools and to parents. It did help that an older student, on of Jessie's friends, and her brother knew the last names of the bullies and offered to tell the principal for us. On days when this young lady, a true difficult child in every sense of the word, was on the bus he was NOT teased after that. She punched one boy who grabbed thank you up and yanked his coat off of him. She packs one hard punch! The driver had been having trouble with the boy all year long and "didn't see" when he got punched. Of course, the young lady was smart enough to have several kids standing up between her and the driver when she did it. (As I said, she IS a difficult child!).

If I had upset or angered our principal he would NOT have done much about the bus problem. HE thought I gave him the info so he would understand the "latest" about sp ed law because "he is too busy" to know it. I offered that "excuse" for him to use, to let him save face. But he also knew if the testing was not done in time I WOULD call the superintendent.

So you CAN keep a good relationship. But you DO have to put wee first and let them know it.

 

[Marguerite]

Susie, that is pretty much my method.

What husband was describing, had a classic example one day at the beginning of the school year when the District Office declared that we would lose a teacher and classroom (based on enrolment numbers) which would have meant difficult child 3 being in a composite class (ie a double grade class) with about 45 students in it - definitely not something he could cope with. But the truck was turning up in the next day or so to literally haul off the classroom. Plus every person I tried to call was "in a meeting and can't be disturbed".

So since time was of the essence and since I suspected I'd have to "prod buttock" at a very high level, I rapidly worked my way up the chain of command.
First I called the local disability consultant (at DO level). In a meeting.
I left my message - "I require urgent action on this issue. Because it is urgent I will make my next call over your head. If that person is also unavailable I will make another call over THEIR head. I will keep calling until I get a real person to talk to who can help me. My final call will be the Minister for Education. After that it will be the Education Opposition spokesman, then the media."
So after the Disabilities person at DO, I then rang the Head of DO. In a meeting. So I rang the State D of E Disabilities person. In a meeting. So I rang the state boss of education. In a meeting. I did end up with the Minister, who had a staff member assigned to handle calls like mine, and who promised action.

We got it. All that afternoon, the Minister (who COULD get people out of a meeting) began to "prod buttock" in a big way, back down the chain.

We kept the classroom and the teacher. For another year only, but it bought us time.

The point is - if a D of E staffer did this, they would get slammed for it. But as parents, we have power. We can do this. And in our case, the end result was, I achieved something FOR THE SCHOOL which they had considered impossible. It meant that when I next had a disagreement with them and I said, "I am sure you can't do that, I will make some enquiries," if they knew they were on shaky ground they rapidly would backpedal and give me what I wanted, rather than see the Marg machine in action again.

There is an arrogance in organisations, including education. That arrogance is, "I am in charge, there are rules of protocol in who can talk to whom, all staff know this."
parents don't know it (unless they are teachers). Parents therefore are not bound by it (and don't let them tell you otherwise - they will try to).

But part of this arrogance is, "If I am in a meeting, you all have to wait for me to deign to return your call." It's a part of the mind that makes them feel important.

But the truly important people WILL return your call. Often, the truly important people have staff who can be very helpful indeed. You often can do a lot better especially if you can demonstrate that you HAVE tried the underlings and gotten nowhere.

I have found that you do need to be seen to have tried. If you haven't, the higher-up will simply say condescendingly, "You obviously didn't know that in tis situation, all you have to do is discuss it politely with the principal who I'm sure is a reasonable individual."
If you can demonstrate that you HAVE tried this communication (ie fax a copy of the letter you have emailed to the principal for which you have not had a reply) then you are more likely to get fast results.

Marg

 

[Shari]

I am angry that this situation happened at all. But I have been very polite, but very firm in my stance.

What happened was a myriad of circumstances that, in and of themselves, probably wouldn't have caused a problem...combined, tho, and wee blew.

I don't blame anyone, per se, tho after talking to sped today, the ball was dropped even moree than I am aware. I just don't want wee punished for it. The adults screwed up, we need something in place for when sped is gone, chalk it up to lesson learned and be done.

We have an iep meeting for Friday at 1 now. I have requested the manifestation hearing and have been met with "but he hasn't been suspended 10 days" bs, so I threw it back at them...if all those half days weren't a suspension...what were they. So far they have not called back again to argue.

I am really tired...I didn't sleep last night worth a hoot and have spent literally hours dealing with this in one fashion or another...so I apologize for rambling...but this time I feel confident that I have plenty to argue and have a chance to change this for wee and possibly future problems as well. And yes, wee comes first. I understand they are human and doing their jobs and whatever...but...best interest of my kiddo comes first. Period.

 

[Shari]

The other thing is, if they want to talk "policies", etc...I can play that game, as well.

Wee is a 2nd grader, who has attended school 1/2 time for the past year, forced on him. He has an average IQ and functions at a preK level in almost all areas.

If they wanna go touting their "mandates" for suspensions? Lets talk "mandates" for FAPE and IDEA... Cause this child HAS Been left behind academically...

 

[LittleDudesMom]

Shari,

I respect that you have been polite but firm - that is my method as well.

Have you done this yet? http://www.yellowpagesforkids.com/help/va.htm

It's a link followed on the wrights law website. It has information, by state, on everything from due process to finding an advocate. The reason I post it here is because of the advocate information. Shari, have you considered that option yet? I believe, in this case, it will be beneficial to wee.

I have to say that I really do feel that wee's school did have good intentions in the beginning I think the principal did want to help him and give a little. But I think that when it comes down to it, they are illequipped to deal with wee's issues. It doesn't make them bad. They need to be shown that this is bigger than they are, it's about helping this young man get a base that can help him have success later in life. It's about giving wee what he is ENTITLED to.

I'm just wondering if an advocate could move this along more quickly.....

Sharon

 

[Shari]

I have a parent advocate in sped law that I can contact. We had an advocate thru protection and advocacy but we had to outline issues we wanted help addressing and an effective BIP and full days were our big issues. She closed the case because the school was working well with us. I do plan to call her back, tho, at least to ask a couple of questions. And if Friday doesn't go well, I'll apply for another one.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

good luck tomorrow - you will be in my thoughts.

 

[alongfortheride]

Remember that they must count as "suspension" all the time that the school called you to come pick him up early. Not the half days that are written into his plans but the times you got a phone call because they couldn't deal with him. Because they requested that you remove him, those hours count as suspension. Add all the hours up. Anything past 10 days...even 10 1/2 days is considered change of placement.

 

[susiestar]

Good luck tomorrow. We will be the angels on your shoulder handing you the pitchfork of IDEA and FAPE and NCLB to poke their buttocks until they give you what wee needs. Is there a specialized school that would be better for wee? Cause you may be able to push to have them pay for that and transport. The sped forum would be able to tell you the process.

hugs!!

 

[flutterby]

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I'm really glad you have sped teacher on your side. That tends to go a long way.