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General Parenting
5 reasons to stop saying ' Good Job ' - Alfie Kohn
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<blockquote data-quote="Janna" data-source="post: 15610" data-attributes="member: 2737"><p>I find it insulting that you are all here laying down bricks on charts, rewards, consequences and behavioral modification.</p><p></p><p>I truly believe that this here is partly what is wrong with our children nowadays.</p><p></p><p>There is nothing, not one single thing, wrong with telling kids "good job". There is nothing wrong with doing behavioral modification, using rewards, charts, and consistent consequences to change behaviors in children.</p><p></p><p>Using rewards does not mean having to spend money. You can use rewards like extra time with mom, reading stories, playing an extra game before bed, and all the like, over monetary "prizes".</p><p></p><p>I don't have issues with all the issues the majority of you do because of the fact that I have done the behavior modification with outstanding results. In all honesty, my child that was once severe ODD is NO LONGER ODD, and we have actually removed his ODD diagnosis from his Axis I.</p><p></p><p>I wonder how that happened if behavior mod/rewards is so bad? Not only that, my son is a very happy go lucky kid that is HAPPY HE IS GOOD, because HE KNOWS HE IS GOOD, BECAUSE I TAUGHT HIM THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOOD CHOICES AND BAD, NOT CODDLING OVER HIM BECAUSE OF EVERY LITTLE THING.</p><p></p><p>And for the record, we no longer USE the charts. It's a step process.</p><p></p><p>Not everyone believes in Alfie whatever his name is or Ross Greene. You should try to remember some of us have solid rules, and diagnosis or not, the child should have to obey them. That, my friends, is partially what is wrong with the kids in our society. Let's baby them. Let's listen to all their anxietys and feelings. Let's not make them accountable because, awwww, we may hurt their feelings.</p><p></p><p>This here really burns me up. Stop condemning using behavior modification. Just because you don't feel like fighting with your kids to get them to do what you want them to do doesn't mean the rest of us may not want to try. Obviously, you're all entitled to your opinions, as am I.</p><p></p><p>Janna</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Janna, post: 15610, member: 2737"] I find it insulting that you are all here laying down bricks on charts, rewards, consequences and behavioral modification. I truly believe that this here is partly what is wrong with our children nowadays. There is nothing, not one single thing, wrong with telling kids "good job". There is nothing wrong with doing behavioral modification, using rewards, charts, and consistent consequences to change behaviors in children. Using rewards does not mean having to spend money. You can use rewards like extra time with mom, reading stories, playing an extra game before bed, and all the like, over monetary "prizes". I don't have issues with all the issues the majority of you do because of the fact that I have done the behavior modification with outstanding results. In all honesty, my child that was once severe ODD is NO LONGER ODD, and we have actually removed his ODD diagnosis from his Axis I. I wonder how that happened if behavior mod/rewards is so bad? Not only that, my son is a very happy go lucky kid that is HAPPY HE IS GOOD, because HE KNOWS HE IS GOOD, BECAUSE I TAUGHT HIM THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOOD CHOICES AND BAD, NOT CODDLING OVER HIM BECAUSE OF EVERY LITTLE THING. And for the record, we no longer USE the charts. It's a step process. Not everyone believes in Alfie whatever his name is or Ross Greene. You should try to remember some of us have solid rules, and diagnosis or not, the child should have to obey them. That, my friends, is partially what is wrong with the kids in our society. Let's baby them. Let's listen to all their anxietys and feelings. Let's not make them accountable because, awwww, we may hurt their feelings. This here really burns me up. Stop condemning using behavior modification. Just because you don't feel like fighting with your kids to get them to do what you want them to do doesn't mean the rest of us may not want to try. Obviously, you're all entitled to your opinions, as am I. Janna [/QUOTE]
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5 reasons to stop saying ' Good Job ' - Alfie Kohn
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