5 yr old difficult child, immature, undisciplined, or something more?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jazzmin, May 14, 2010.

  1. Jazzmin

    Jazzmin Guest

    My 5 year old son throws tantrums. He whines constantly. He cant consentrate on anything and cant focus long enough to complete work at school, or finish dinner in less than an hour. He is obsessed with who's first weather its the lunch line at school or which of my 3 young children I hand a cracker to first. He is also constantly talking about what's fair and not fair. He started Kg (full days) last fall. He was throwing some tantrums then but it has progressivly gotten worse at school. I get calls atleast twice a week. He screas , yells, stomps, kicks things, and has knocked over chairs. Last week he cried for an hour his teacher said, unable to control himself even after the screaming stopped. Honestly parenting him has been unique from the beginnig, even before a year old he could scream for an inordinatly long time. On a road trip when he was 7 months old he screamed for half an hour before we pulled over (middle of nowhere) and took him out of his car seat. He quit crying immediatly. we stayed half an hour. When I put him back in the seat he screamed all the way home. 1 hr 20 min. (nothing wrong or uncomfortable with seat or clothes that i could find). So this capacity he has I know has always been there. As the years have passed we have tried all th usual suspects (time out, spanking, reward, charts, restriction from things he likes. Our only success at home has been to send him to his room all alone. Oh, he still throws the fit, he just doesnt come out till hes done. He is excepting and compliant with- this about 75% of the time. But at school he gets upset and wont or cant calm down. He will most likely repeat kg as his teacher feels it may be a maturity issue...and I hope she's right. He is amiddle child sister 4 brother 7. He is also youngest in his class as he wont turn 6 till July. My husband. and I argue about discipline. I dread the telephone ringing because I just know its the school again. Any advice would be appreciated. I have been treated in the past for anxiety. I have cousin on my mothers side who is diagnosed adhd BiPolar (BP) and anxiety disorder and my father is BiPolar (BP) (undiagnosed).
  2. nandz

    nandz Guest

    If you are unsure, I would ask his doctor about it. It doesn't hurt to voice your concerns. It sounds to me as if he has a little more than discipline problems going on. I would start with his dr. first though as a starting point. Good luck! My son has ADHD and is hard to handle at times with his mood swings so I know how hard it can be. He is on medications now and it has helped him focus better and has helped with his impulse control. We are just dealing with mood swings and defiant behavior right now. We are here to help you any way we can!
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Ok, there are a few ideas here. You probably think ADHD, but I think it's more than that. I would see a neuropsychologist...they are better diagnosticians than regular therapists or even regular psychologists. They do intensive testing. I have a few questions that can help us help you, and welcome to the board :D, but sorry you have to be here :tongue:.

    1/Are there are psychiatric problems or substance abuse on either side of his genetic family tree whether or not he lives with dad. Any bipolar, mood disorders, schizophrenia, suicide attempts, "funny uncles" etc. Any Aspergers or possible Aspergers?

    2/How is his early development as far as talking, making strong eye contact with you and strangers, his ability to socialize appropriately with his same-age peers, his ability to hold a give-and-take conversation. You said he obsesses: Does he have any intense interests that he talks about all the time? Did he ever line up toys or does he just dismantle toys or does he play appropriately with toys? Is he sensitive to any textures of clothes or food? Loud noises (covers ears or says you're talking too loud when you're just talking normally). Can he transition from one activity to another without raging? How is he doing so far in pre-school/school.

    The first diagnosis. for most kids is usually ADHD/ODD. It is very often NOT the real diagnosis. Warning: The Pediatrician is probably not going to listen much to your concerns because they aren't really trained in a child's brain...they are more there for sniffles, colds, etc. Been there/done that. Kids whose brains are wired differently are very frustrating as they do not respond to traditional parenting styles. Many of us have tried it all with no results until we find the culprit and get appropriate help. Even then, it can be a struggle. Still like NeuroPsychs the most.

    Others will come along.