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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 625495" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>STOP TRYING TO JUSTIFY YOUR ACTIONS TO THIS IDIOT. </p><p></p><p>Yes, I yelled at you. Flat out, this idiot has NO room to say a single word. And you have NO BUSINESS listening to him or wondering if he is right. Let HIM give up his entire life and go homeless and let his kids be homeless to take care of your gpa if it is that important to him. </p><p></p><p>People who say this kind of thing DO NOT have anyone's best interests in mind. They just want to be nosy and to upset people. Of course he knew you would be upset with him, that is WHY he wanted to hug you and be all nice. It upped his "I got to her and made her feel bad" fix. He gets an emotional payoff every single time he can make you feel bad, esp because he must KNOW he is being a total idiot. If he truly thought your gpa was in danger he would contact the police or an abuse hotline, not sit around and tell you that you should give up your job, not pay your bills, and make your kids go through being homeless just to care for your gpa. </p><p></p><p>You have WAY too much going on to waste your energy (emotional or otherwise) on an idiot, esp as big an idiot as this guy is. You are also way too intelligent to think he is right. You flat out KNOW you are doing the best you can right now, so there is zero excuse to allow this person to make you doubt yourself.</p><p></p><p>Assisted living is NOT horrible. My gma agreed to go into an ALF (assisted living facility) after my gpa died and it was the best decision she could have made. She had several friends who visited and liked it so much that they moved in also. She had all sorts of activities and events to choose from, people to help her remember her medications, help with bathing etc..., and healthy meals all right there for her. It extended her life by a more than eight years, many of them far more healthy and able bodied years than they would have been if she had been in her own home. </p><p></p><p>If gpa needs more than you can give him, look into an ALF or nursing home. As long as you visit regularly and you monitor the situation there closely, he will adjust and be fine. I have volunteered in nursing homes at times and often the residents are happy to be there once they adjust. Of course having involved family increases their happiness, that is true for all of us. Many of the residents have talked about how they prefer the ALF or nursing home BECAUSE their loved ones are not run ragged trying to care for them, work, and raise a family. </p><p></p><p>Don't give this idiot of a neighbor another second of your time or energy. He isn't worth it. His opinions are not just wrong and ignorant, they are IRRELEVANT. So stop beating yourself up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 625495, member: 1233"] STOP TRYING TO JUSTIFY YOUR ACTIONS TO THIS IDIOT. Yes, I yelled at you. Flat out, this idiot has NO room to say a single word. And you have NO BUSINESS listening to him or wondering if he is right. Let HIM give up his entire life and go homeless and let his kids be homeless to take care of your gpa if it is that important to him. People who say this kind of thing DO NOT have anyone's best interests in mind. They just want to be nosy and to upset people. Of course he knew you would be upset with him, that is WHY he wanted to hug you and be all nice. It upped his "I got to her and made her feel bad" fix. He gets an emotional payoff every single time he can make you feel bad, esp because he must KNOW he is being a total idiot. If he truly thought your gpa was in danger he would contact the police or an abuse hotline, not sit around and tell you that you should give up your job, not pay your bills, and make your kids go through being homeless just to care for your gpa. You have WAY too much going on to waste your energy (emotional or otherwise) on an idiot, esp as big an idiot as this guy is. You are also way too intelligent to think he is right. You flat out KNOW you are doing the best you can right now, so there is zero excuse to allow this person to make you doubt yourself. Assisted living is NOT horrible. My gma agreed to go into an ALF (assisted living facility) after my gpa died and it was the best decision she could have made. She had several friends who visited and liked it so much that they moved in also. She had all sorts of activities and events to choose from, people to help her remember her medications, help with bathing etc..., and healthy meals all right there for her. It extended her life by a more than eight years, many of them far more healthy and able bodied years than they would have been if she had been in her own home. If gpa needs more than you can give him, look into an ALF or nursing home. As long as you visit regularly and you monitor the situation there closely, he will adjust and be fine. I have volunteered in nursing homes at times and often the residents are happy to be there once they adjust. Of course having involved family increases their happiness, that is true for all of us. Many of the residents have talked about how they prefer the ALF or nursing home BECAUSE their loved ones are not run ragged trying to care for them, work, and raise a family. Don't give this idiot of a neighbor another second of your time or energy. He isn't worth it. His opinions are not just wrong and ignorant, they are IRRELEVANT. So stop beating yourself up. [/QUOTE]
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