6 year old son keeps getting kicked out of school

[kim75062]

I'm really considering sending him to the public school for 2nd grade this fall. The goal has been to get him to a level that he can function in a classroom and learn along with other kids his own age.

I'm not sure why that's the goal but so far that's been it. I guess lack of a better goal lol

He's been doing good in therapy so far. He did have one day where he was a complete brat and was refusing to do anything the therapist wanted to do. It ended in him saying he was never going back there and she's not his friend anymore etc. the next day he went he told her he was sorry and did everything he was supposed to without any argument. For him to be able to "get over it" is amazing.

On one hand I want him to be with other kids and have that group learning experience. Not so much academically but more so socially. I feel keeping him home is robbing him of that. He's almost 7, has no friends etc. it hurts him to hear about the other kids doing things with their friends and he can't. He said he wanted to invite all his friends over for his birthday party and was so excited talking about it. I didn't have the heart to tell him he doesn't have any to invite.

On the other hand if he tries again and it ends in complete failure is that going to be damaging him more and make it even harder to get him to try again. I know that I can teach him way more and better at home. Any child would benifit from constant one on one learning.

Then there's the whole IEP thing and administration that I swear thinks the budget comes directly from their own pay checks. I might hire a hostage negotiator this time around instead of an attorney, they seem better qualified for the job.

Torn again smh.

 

[AppleCori]

Have you looked into homeschool groups in your area?

Many have classes once per week at a church or other public building. Most have fun classes that are supplemental like art, music, Legos, etc. for your son's age group.

Fees are nominal.

It's mainly a good social outlet for both mom and kids.

Many groups do field trips, etc.

Just something to think about.

 

[kim75062]

Yes there's a few groups in my area.

So far I found them to be the "stuck up" I'm better then you type of moms. Where they do everything they can to make sure their child succeeds in everything because it's a direct reflection of their parenting skills. The kids have more hectic schedules then most CEOs do at 8 years old.

I'm not the everyone gets a participation trophy type and my kids will learn to fail. I also won't do anything for them they are capable of doing themselves.

I'm sure there's more out there somewhere I just haven't found them yet.

 

[mof]

Good for you! I never found the group your looking for, but there are real people out there!!

 

[kim75062]

No call back from the local school, I can't say I'm surprised. I even reached out to the principal before hand to try to get him to know DS the actual person and not the number in a file. He said he's call back as soon as he heard from the higher ups etc. it's been a week......(chirping birds)...

On another note I have his homeschool planned out until Christmas break all but LA and reading. I'm awaiting my awesome mystery boxes from scholastic to plan that part out. I've spent days sifting through the wreckage of what was a pretty nice dinning room that is covered in school materials lol

I am a little lost on science and social studies for second grade. And he is pretty advanced in the areas. So I have a unit on animals and bugs, the human body (he knows a lot already), health and nutrition so far for science.

I have the northeast and southeast regions of the US to go from last year that will carry us through to thanksgiving. We study the economics and people as well for each region. I'm not sure where to go in social studies after that.

Any and all advice is welcome and much appreciated as always!

 

[AppleCori]

Hi Kim,

Just a quick message, as I am waiting to get on a plane, but I will tell you what I do.

I combine history and science.

I started at the beginning-the Big Bang, the universe, planets and stars, etc. We went through the development of the earth, the development of living things, dinosaurs, pre-history of humans, and work our way to written history.

We study the flora and fauna of the regions we study, so when in Egypt, we do desert life, plant life, the scientific advancements of the time (such as simple machines like levers, pulleys, incline planes, etc. to build pyramids) boat building, early farming practices, weather patterns, food, religion, etc.

In the golden age of Greece, we study the advancements in medicine, government, astronomy, etc.

We make foods from that culture.

My daughter loves science but is lukewarm on history/social studies. We did a lot of hands-on, experiments, etc.

I think, to really understand history and science, you have to see how it develops through the ages.

We also left time to explore whatever interests her at the time, usually Science.

I got her into nature journaling and we spend time writing about what we are studying or observations in the nature journal.

She would write creative stories sometimes about the bugs, snakes, fish etc. that we would find.

We also used Story Cubes for writing.

I use historical fiction to cement the history in her mind. I love the books chosen by Sonlight/Bookshark. I use lots of kid-friendly biographies of famous scientists and leaders. We watch a lot of documentaries.

We studied US history in depth and studied the development of government, the states as they were created, the presidents as they came into office, etc.

We are on the last few decades of the 20th Century now.

We will start an in-depth study of countries around the world next.
Sorry this is so disjointed, don't have time to proofread!
Gotta go!

Apple

 

[KTMom91]

I don't know if this will help right now, since your son's so young, but there's a site called edx.org where you can learn about almost everything you ever wanted to know - and it's free. They're college level courses, through top universities all over the world. Maybe you can find a course that centers on your son's particular interests, and you can share the info.

 

[susiestar]

Do you have a Children's Museum or Science or History Museum that you can go to? What programs do they offer? Are there any exhibits coming that you can tailor lessons around?

One thing I LOVED about homeschooling was being able to make any lesson interesting to my child. Sure, he had to learn math and LA and all that, but he could learn those things in many contexts. I could wrap them in what we were interested in. I would take him to dinner and we would plan out what we wanted to study together. Even when he was just a year older than your son, he had wonderful ideas and contributed quite a lot. We chose overall topics and then I found lessons in books and online to fit what we wanted. He understood not all of it could be about the topic, but a lot of it could. I also found libraries that had story time for kids his age and met moms there who were welcoming and like minded.

Include food whenever you can. The more senses you can include in a lesson, the more it will be ingrained in a memory. With food, especially if he helps you make it, you involve many senses. We cooked food from other cultures, other eras, food shaped like dinosaurs, used food to do math problems (and ate it when we were done! especially fun with mini m&ms etc... as a treat for something especially hard or for a test), and we used food to make art - it is great fun when your art is edible! Food always kept the kids' interest.

My father was a science teacher so I had a lot of help with that. We mostly did experiments for science. The kids wrote out the steps for the scientific method (yes, even as early as grade 2) and we experimented with whatever. I can recommend some books if you want. Many of the supplies were things we had around the house or could get easily for very little money.

You also can check out www.khanacademy.com for ideas. I know you probably don't want to do online lessons, but they have all sorts of things there. I haven't explored the elementary school things, so I don't know what they offer for that age. I do know it is free. I will see if I can find my old homeschool sites and see what is still in operation after all these years and send you the sites. Many had lessons for various things that could be tailored to different ages and ability levels.

Let me know what, if any, of this is helpful. I will happily PM you specific things if you want. I LOVED homeschooling when my son was little.

 

[kim75062]

Thanks for the suggestions everyone!

I got an email from the principal saying the normal "were not ignoring you" professional response. Obviously they are or they would of contacted me by now right?

Anyway this school system has shown they have zero interest in educating my son so guess it's up to me. Again.

I just wish they could see him for the great kid he is and not the behavior problems he has. But they're not even willing to open there eyes to look at this point. Oh well, it's their loss anyway.

 

[kim75062]

Hi Kim,

Just a quick message, as I am waiting to get on a plane, but I will tell you what I do.

I combine history and science.

I started at the beginning-the Big Bang, the universe, planets and stars, etc. We went through the development of the earth, the development of living things, dinosaurs, pre-history of humans, and work our way to written history.

We study the flora and fauna of the regions we study, so when in Egypt, we do desert life, plant life, the scientific advancements of the time (such as simple machines like levers, pulleys, incline planes, etc. to build pyramids) boat building, early farming practices, weather patterns, food, religion, etc.

In the golden age of Greece, we study the advancements in medicine, government, astronomy, etc.

We make foods from that culture.

My daughter loves science but is lukewarm on history/social studies. We did a lot of hands-on, experiments, etc.

I think, to really understand history and science, you have to see how it develops through the ages.

We also left time to explore whatever interests her at the time, usually Science.

I got her into nature journaling and we spend time writing about what we are studying or observations in the nature journal.

She would write creative stories sometimes about the bugs, snakes, fish etc. that we would find.

We also used Story Cubes for writing.

I use historical fiction to cement the history in her mind. I love the books chosen by Sonlight/Bookshark. I use lots of kid-friendly biographies of famous scientists and leaders. We watch a lot of documentaries.

We studied US history in depth and studied the development of government, the states as they were created, the presidents as they came into office, etc.

We are on the last few decades of the 20th Century now.

We will start an in-depth study of countries around the world next.
Sorry this is so disjointed, don't have time to proofread!
Gotta go!

Apple

Is starting at the beginning easier? I started with now, and where we live then expanded by regions for the US.

For science he was very interested in plants and weather last year so we did a science journal and learned all about natural disasters and weather patterns etc. it's hard to explain an earth quake or volcano if you don't know how the earth works so we did that too.

It was kinda funny because his sister was in 8th grade studying the techtonic plates and Her 6 year old brother helped her with her homework lol her teachers didn't believe her until they meet him

We made Lego cities and earthquakes them to pieces on tennis balls, build volcanos and planted a full vegetable garden. We also collected lots of plant life (and a dead spider they found) and I cut it up onto slides for the kids to inspect with a microscope.

 

[kim75062]

Do you have a Children's Museum or Science or History Museum that you can go to? What programs do they offer? Are there any exhibits coming that you can tailor lessons around?

One thing I LOVED about homeschooling was being able to make any lesson interesting to my child. Sure, he had to learn math and LA and all that, but he could learn those things in many contexts. I could wrap them in what we were interested in. I would take him to dinner and we would plan out what we wanted to study together. Even when he was just a year older than your son, he had wonderful ideas and contributed quite a lot. We chose overall topics and then I found lessons in books and online to fit what we wanted. He understood not all of it could be about the topic, but a lot of it could. I also found libraries that had story time for kids his age and met moms there who were welcoming and like minded.

Include food whenever you can. The more senses you can include in a lesson, the more it will be ingrained in a memory. With food, especially if he helps you make it, you involve many senses. We cooked food from other cultures, other eras, food shaped like dinosaurs, used food to do math problems (and ate it when we were done! especially fun with mini m&ms etc... as a treat for something especially hard or for a test), and we used food to make art - it is great fun when your art is edible! Food always kept the kids' interest.

My father was a science teacher so I had a lot of help with that. We mostly did experiments for science. The kids wrote out the steps for the scientific method (yes, even as early as grade 2) and we experimented with whatever. I can recommend some books if you want. Many of the supplies were things we had around the house or could get easily for very little money.

You also can check out www.khanacademy.com for ideas. I know you probably don't want to do online lessons, but they have all sorts of things there. I haven't explored the elementary school things, so I don't know what they offer for that age. I do know it is free. I will see if I can find my old homeschool sites and see what is still in operation after all these years and send you the sites. Many had lessons for various things that could be tailored to different ages and ability levels.

Let me know what, if any, of this is helpful. I will happily PM you specific things if you want. I LOVED homeschooling when my son was little.

I wish I knew a science teacher! I love science but sometimes love just isn't enough lol

I have a full high school chemistry set I ordered that I've been dying to play with, I mean teach with DS has been studying the periodic table on his own for the last few weeks and talking about making potions. I can't wait to see how excited he is when I tell him we have a real chemistry set. (The kids ones aren't much fun.)

 

[susiestar]

Actually, for science, the more play you keep in there, the better!! I used to do the science classes for our homeschool cooperative after I realized the other parents who taught science would lecture each week. Two parents, teaching 2 different groups of kids (grouped by age, younger and older kids), both parents were former science teacher for crying out loud, and ALL they could come up with was a lecture?!?! I was not a teacher and I brought in experiments for each group every week - usually something different for each group unless it was really interesting that both groups really expressed an interest in.

One thing your little guy would probably like is to learn about insulation. As in, how does a thermos work, how can you insulate something? Try making baked alaska. Soften ice cream and scoop into a bowl so that it fills it completely with no air pockets all the way to the top. Level off the top and return to the freezer. Bake a cake or brownie in a round pan that is big enough that you can cut the cake so it is 1 inch bigger all the way around the top of the bowl. After the cake is cooled and the ice cream has hardened, make meringue. You can make meringue the way you would for pie (check any basic cook book) or you can use meringue powder from the cake decorating section and contact me for more directions). I would use basic meringue from a cook book because it will be cooked and this deals with any problems with uncooked eggs, plus it is much cheaper, but it works either way.

Just before eating/learning,experimenting, preheat the oven to 450 degrees. To assemble, put the cake on a cookie sheet. center the ice cream on the cake. Cover the ice cream with a thick layer of meringue making sure that every spot is covered and the meringue fully meets the cake base so that no ice cream shows.

Ask your son what will happen to the ice cream when it goes into the hot oven. Ask why he thinks that will happen? Put baked alaska into the oven and bake. Then take out of oven when browned. ask son what he thinks has happened to ice cream? Then cut baked alaska. Eat. Ask son why he thinks ice cream did not melt?

Double check Joy of Cooking or another baked alaska recipe for cooking times, etc... but this is pretty much what I did for the first science lesson when I realized how bored the kids at the cooperative were with the other parents. You can do individual baked alaskas. I had the little kids do a big one, and made the big kids do the calculations to figure out how much thick the base needed to be and how much meringue was needed to cover the scoop of ice cream they each got. Their lesson took 2 weeks while the little kids got to eat baked alaska the 1st week (big kids got very small slices of the leftovers, so they could see what they were doing, and could hypothesize the things they needed for their own baked alaskas).

What is your son curious of passionate about? I often used that as the jumping off point for where I went with my kids. If you fold the basic concepts into their passion, not only do they NEVER hate learning, often they don't even realize they are not just playing. It is a chord in the key of "do what you love and you will never work a day in your life". Children learn most effectively through play. They learn most ineffectively through lecture and worksheet, especially in the early elementary years. Being able to do those things is important, but not the most important thing at his age.

An effective teacher learns to wrap the essentials of education inside things that interest the students she is trying to reach. With children your son's age, this means using play. I never bought into the 'unschooling' philosophy, but I do believe that play is educational especially for children.

Another fun science experiment is about crystals. We grew rock candy before Christmas one year and then gave it for gifts. My kids had to learn about it, learn to leave it alone to grow (if you disturb it then it doesn't grow) and then had to actually give it away.

I meant it when I said I will give you all sorts of ideas and instructions and sites. I truly enjoyed this and don't at all mind. Please remember that cooking IS chemistry, especially baking. So any time you are in the kitchen, you are doing science and can have science with your little man. Kitchen chemistry can be some of the most fun chemistry - and not just dessert chemistry.

 

[kim75062]

Update: no major changes for my little guy. He's still homeschooled with success but a fight lol his handwriting has improved much so I can read it now, he still argues about doing it but not as horrible and he's still going to occupational therapy every week.

 

[susiestar]

Sounds like things are going pretty well. I know you want the group experience for him. Have you considered a class at the local YMCA? You don't have to be a member to take a class there. You just pay a slightly higher fee. There are probably other places that have classes for kids also. Either art or sports or something else he is interested in or would have fun in. He could make friends that way. You could give him some experiences with other kids that way.

 

[kim75062]

update: we are moving over to the new house this week hopefully. Its a big mess from the previous tenants and I opened my big mouth and told the landlord Id clean it up and paint it myself before looking at it. I now remember why I hated having tenants............anyway, the new school my little guy is going to attend is only 3 blocks away and we will be going over the end of this week to give them fair warning to get things going for him. A weeks notice seems fair doesn't it? should i give them more time?

 

[kim75062]

Today is the first day for him. He was so excited to go and was up at 630am and dressed all by himself .
I hadn't heard from the school yet so I called to check in and they said so far he's doing great in the regular classroom with no accommodations. Hopefully this will be a good day and the start to many more.

 

[HMBgal]

Sounds wonderful!!!!

 

[kim75062]

2 1/2 days in and so far so good. He's needing redirected a lot but still staying in the classroom.

I know it's probably just another honeymoon phase but for today I'll take it. My night nurse coworker list her husband this week and I've been working doubles overnights. So far this school only called me to tell me he's doing great and don't worry. So I've actually gotten sleep

 

[kim75062]

Well it's been over a month and the first real problem was Friday. He tried to run off from the counslour and though they did mange him and keep him in the school it was with much difficulty and I was not called for it. This tantrum lasted over an hour. Had they called me it could of potentialy ended much better and differently. This started in the morning and one bad behavior after another for the rest of the day. It seems this school has went with the other extreme and has decided to not call me at all. Not the solution I was looking for.

And to top it off his teacher seems to think that he just acts this way because he can. I'll copy and paste the email from her below. To say I'm angry is an understatement. I have a meeting with the principal and district guy tomorrow morning.

"R behavior is consistently challenging throughout the day. With all of my experience, my professional opinion is there is not a real trigger, cause, reason, or excuse for his behavior. He simply doesn’t want to be instructed to do something and be in the role of the child. He’d rather make the decisions of what he will and won’t do or think about at any given moment and if he decides he’s through cooperating, that’s when he’ll decide to act out. This is evident from the times/days when he listens and follows directions because he likes me as his teacher and decides to cooperate for that reason. Now that I attempt to help him become more disciplined and learn more, he is making a new choice, but he could take that baby step to compliance if he wanted to, that I feel sure of. I’ve transitioned him slowly and carefully. All students and teachers have been kind, flexible, and understanding considering his specific set of challenges having a processing disorder, and I don’t believe those challenges are triggering his behaviors.

I plan to meet with administrators and to make your phone number available to me in my partner teacher’s room in case Friday’s incident repeats itself. Please note that faculty at SCHOOL NAME are amazing and people working in education all have their hands full, not just me. We’ll try to develop a better plan for if and when we see this particular behavior again and I will make sure you are called and given the opportunity to come move him to a quiet place.

please continue to stand strong. He is a child and you as the adult and his mother have an obligation to teach him right from wrong in this manner. I will support you at school as you are supporting me at home. R must learn that there are consequences to his actions before he gets to be older and those consequences get much, much worst. Let’s never reward bad behavior and always together provide consequences. I hope at this point I’ve earned your trust enough. I hope you’ll trust when I recommend a consequence, it’s what’s best for R in my experienced, professional opinion"

 

[JRC]

I don't know your child at all. But I have to say that this teacher is obnoxious. Basically she's decided that he's just being stubborn. Then she tells you that they all have their hands full already. And that you need to be a better parent.

I'm not sure I would know how to answer this kind of message. Maybe someone here has had this experience and can better help you with it. ((hugs))