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6 year old son keeps getting kicked out of school
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 698698" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Your son is lucky to have you. I think you have a great grasp of what I believe should be the fundamental belief behind teaching ALL children - that children do well when they are ABLE, not when they want to. Kids always want to please adults, some just are not capable of handling what we expect of them.</p><p></p><p>I think you have a highly intelligent little boy with a number of challenges. First, he is probably incredibly bored. This can be a death sentence for his public school education because no one really focuses on teaching the brilliant or exceptional student. Those students are expected to 'go along' and cope well. Reality is that bored kids act out, and for some reason bored little boys generally have WAY more energy and imagination than most adults can handle, esp if they have a classroom full of other kids. How do I know? My son taught himself to read before his 3rd birthday. Finding a school that could cope with him was a real challenge. </p><p></p><p>Your son needs to be taught at HIS level, and it is likely at least a grade above his same age peers. I would NOT go for a catholic school. I flat out refused to put my children in one after I interviewed several teachers at 2 different catholic schools. One teacher, to whom I am still grateful, met me in the parking lot after we spoke with the principal. She begged me to not put my son in her class. She would have 24 other students who mostly didn't know the alphabet very well and then my son who was reading chapter books with 80+ pages in under 2 hours. She couldn't see anything but a disaster and at least a public school could be forced to test him and meet his needs. She was very correct. </p><p></p><p>I think your son may also have sensory integration issues. Running away is actually rather common when overwhelmed, esp with young children. I would have a private Occupational Therapist test your child for sensory integration disorder. It is an amazing challenge with some amazing solutions. The best therapies are a sensory diet and brushing therapy, or Wilbarger's as it is often called. With Sensory integration disorder the brain does not deal with sensory input in the 'normal' way. It is misread or misinterpreted and can cause major problems, and it takes many forms. A sensory diet is providing the sensations that the brain wants and needs in order to help the child develop the brain skills to cope. Most kids LOVE the sensations that are needed in their sensory diet and it is actually very easy to find the right elements. Kids naturally gravitate to the things that will help as those things feel good to them. My youngest spent easily half of his tv and computer game time sitting on his head on our couch when he was little. It felt good to him. It didn't harm anything so it didn't occur to me to stop it, but the Occupational Therapist (OT) we worked with told us that it actually was helping him. With each of my kids I have found that they seek out those sensations that they need, even if the same sensations would make me miserable or even ill.</p><p></p><p>Brushing therapy is, in my mind, truly incredible. It uses a surgical scrub brush to brush the body in a particular pattern and order. You MUST be taught this by a professional because doing it wrong can cause SEVERE problems. Brushing can be done over clothing or under, and takes a shockingly small amount of time to perform properly. It helps teach the brain how the body sends signals. It has actually been proven to change the way the brain uses and interprets nerve signals from the senses!! There is NO, ZIP, ZERO, ZILCH, NADA medication to be taken or given. It isn't terribly expensive once the Occupational Therapist (OT) is paid for. The changes I have seen in kids are nothing short of a miracle. My youngest used to only be able to handle about 2 to 2.5 days of school per week before he was in total sensory overload. He would just sit and shake and shake and shake and not be able to eat or talk or cope with anything. Working with a good Occupational Therapist (OT) and a VERY understanding school made a HUGE difference. We went from missing half of every week in kindergarten and first grade (and he HATED staying home from school, he just couldn't cope with it every day) to missing about 1.5 days in 2nd grade and only 1 day a week in 4th grade. Since 4th grade he hasn't stayed home for sensory reasons at all and has only missed a total of 8 days in 6 years. This was done with-o medication of any kind. thank you, my youngest, is also very smart and he was able to be at the top of his class even when he missed half the school week every week. </p><p></p><p>I strongly recommend reading The Out of Sync Child and THe Out of Sync Child Has Fun, both by Kranowitz. If I could only buy one it would be the Has Fun because that is less theory and has tons of activities to provide the sensory diet and ways to do the activities for less money. I believe my family read 2 copies of Has Fun to death, literally until they fell apart. I also gave away 3 copies to friends who had kids with problems and wanted to borrow my copy. </p><p></p><p>I suggest you look into homeschooling. There are MANY groups for homeschoolers where you could meet with other moms and work to keep the kids engaged and social while tailoring the activities to what your child needs and can cope with. I don't believe homeschooling is right for every family or child, or even for every child every year. I have homeschooled each of my older 2 kids at various times and for various reasons. My daughter was a nightmare to homeschool in grade 1 but until we moved her school was unsafe. Boy was i glad when we moved and could enroll her!! and she absolutely LOVED going to school, so it was great all around. My older one had 2 years of homeschooling because he had a teacher who loathed him (her word, not mine!) and he was only learning anything during the one day of enrichment classes he had every other week. I wasn't sending him to school for babysitting, so that annoyed me. Later my son went to school in another district and did fairly well though not nearly up to his potential. My daughter ended up homeschooling for high school due to health issues. She has done well also. </p><p></p><p>I thought homeschooling my kids was fun. Life should be a classroom, and lessons can be wrapped up into almost anything - often without a child even noticing that they are learning! This is esp true in the young years. If you choose to explore this, and want info or help finding info, let me know. I can send you info via private messages about things I did and learned. I actually rather miss homeschooling my kids!</p><p></p><p>I hope some of this helps. Use what helps and ignore the rest. Another book you might find invaluable is "What Your Explosive Child IS Trying To Tell You" by Doug Riley. Dr. Riley used to post here every couple of years and this is an amazing book. He seems to really understand our kids and that they don't explode for no reason at all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 698698, member: 1233"] Your son is lucky to have you. I think you have a great grasp of what I believe should be the fundamental belief behind teaching ALL children - that children do well when they are ABLE, not when they want to. Kids always want to please adults, some just are not capable of handling what we expect of them. I think you have a highly intelligent little boy with a number of challenges. First, he is probably incredibly bored. This can be a death sentence for his public school education because no one really focuses on teaching the brilliant or exceptional student. Those students are expected to 'go along' and cope well. Reality is that bored kids act out, and for some reason bored little boys generally have WAY more energy and imagination than most adults can handle, esp if they have a classroom full of other kids. How do I know? My son taught himself to read before his 3rd birthday. Finding a school that could cope with him was a real challenge. Your son needs to be taught at HIS level, and it is likely at least a grade above his same age peers. I would NOT go for a catholic school. I flat out refused to put my children in one after I interviewed several teachers at 2 different catholic schools. One teacher, to whom I am still grateful, met me in the parking lot after we spoke with the principal. She begged me to not put my son in her class. She would have 24 other students who mostly didn't know the alphabet very well and then my son who was reading chapter books with 80+ pages in under 2 hours. She couldn't see anything but a disaster and at least a public school could be forced to test him and meet his needs. She was very correct. I think your son may also have sensory integration issues. Running away is actually rather common when overwhelmed, esp with young children. I would have a private Occupational Therapist test your child for sensory integration disorder. It is an amazing challenge with some amazing solutions. The best therapies are a sensory diet and brushing therapy, or Wilbarger's as it is often called. With Sensory integration disorder the brain does not deal with sensory input in the 'normal' way. It is misread or misinterpreted and can cause major problems, and it takes many forms. A sensory diet is providing the sensations that the brain wants and needs in order to help the child develop the brain skills to cope. Most kids LOVE the sensations that are needed in their sensory diet and it is actually very easy to find the right elements. Kids naturally gravitate to the things that will help as those things feel good to them. My youngest spent easily half of his tv and computer game time sitting on his head on our couch when he was little. It felt good to him. It didn't harm anything so it didn't occur to me to stop it, but the Occupational Therapist (OT) we worked with told us that it actually was helping him. With each of my kids I have found that they seek out those sensations that they need, even if the same sensations would make me miserable or even ill. Brushing therapy is, in my mind, truly incredible. It uses a surgical scrub brush to brush the body in a particular pattern and order. You MUST be taught this by a professional because doing it wrong can cause SEVERE problems. Brushing can be done over clothing or under, and takes a shockingly small amount of time to perform properly. It helps teach the brain how the body sends signals. It has actually been proven to change the way the brain uses and interprets nerve signals from the senses!! There is NO, ZIP, ZERO, ZILCH, NADA medication to be taken or given. It isn't terribly expensive once the Occupational Therapist (OT) is paid for. The changes I have seen in kids are nothing short of a miracle. My youngest used to only be able to handle about 2 to 2.5 days of school per week before he was in total sensory overload. He would just sit and shake and shake and shake and not be able to eat or talk or cope with anything. Working with a good Occupational Therapist (OT) and a VERY understanding school made a HUGE difference. We went from missing half of every week in kindergarten and first grade (and he HATED staying home from school, he just couldn't cope with it every day) to missing about 1.5 days in 2nd grade and only 1 day a week in 4th grade. Since 4th grade he hasn't stayed home for sensory reasons at all and has only missed a total of 8 days in 6 years. This was done with-o medication of any kind. thank you, my youngest, is also very smart and he was able to be at the top of his class even when he missed half the school week every week. I strongly recommend reading The Out of Sync Child and THe Out of Sync Child Has Fun, both by Kranowitz. If I could only buy one it would be the Has Fun because that is less theory and has tons of activities to provide the sensory diet and ways to do the activities for less money. I believe my family read 2 copies of Has Fun to death, literally until they fell apart. I also gave away 3 copies to friends who had kids with problems and wanted to borrow my copy. I suggest you look into homeschooling. There are MANY groups for homeschoolers where you could meet with other moms and work to keep the kids engaged and social while tailoring the activities to what your child needs and can cope with. I don't believe homeschooling is right for every family or child, or even for every child every year. I have homeschooled each of my older 2 kids at various times and for various reasons. My daughter was a nightmare to homeschool in grade 1 but until we moved her school was unsafe. Boy was i glad when we moved and could enroll her!! and she absolutely LOVED going to school, so it was great all around. My older one had 2 years of homeschooling because he had a teacher who loathed him (her word, not mine!) and he was only learning anything during the one day of enrichment classes he had every other week. I wasn't sending him to school for babysitting, so that annoyed me. Later my son went to school in another district and did fairly well though not nearly up to his potential. My daughter ended up homeschooling for high school due to health issues. She has done well also. I thought homeschooling my kids was fun. Life should be a classroom, and lessons can be wrapped up into almost anything - often without a child even noticing that they are learning! This is esp true in the young years. If you choose to explore this, and want info or help finding info, let me know. I can send you info via private messages about things I did and learned. I actually rather miss homeschooling my kids! I hope some of this helps. Use what helps and ignore the rest. Another book you might find invaluable is "What Your Explosive Child IS Trying To Tell You" by Doug Riley. Dr. Riley used to post here every couple of years and this is an amazing book. He seems to really understand our kids and that they don't explode for no reason at all. [/QUOTE]
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