Our house has 8 people in it: Great grandpa 90s (Alzheimers) Grandpa 70s (stroke damage) Grandma 70s (anxiety, depression) Plus myself, husband, and three children. We all moved in together a year ago because grandma couldn't care for her increasingly disabled husband and father-in-law. (My husband's parents and grandfather). Ok, so my biggest problem is with my 8 year old and both grandfathers. His external behavior is terrible: calling them "old, stupid a**holes", etc. He won't respond when they try and talk to him, he'll run away, throw (lightweight) things at them, etc. The girls get along with the men.. the men say hi, they'll respond in kind.. no problem. The difference is the grandfathers want to play and interact with DS because he's a boy, and smaller (and maybe because he's noncompliant, so a "challenge"?) We've asked GP70 to "just leave him alone", but he won't or can't. GP90 is too far gone to talk to, we just have to be close to keep him from hitting DS (he would too). I've tried explaining to DS8 that he's the one being the "bully", but he doesn't see it that way. He says GPs are mean to him, that they are annoying him. I haven't been too hard on him over it, because I truly think he is acting out in a self-defensive manner. He's afraid of them because they are unpredictable, unreliable, etc. GP70 can be a mean cuss.. he's smacked DD13, and his wife because he'll fly off the handle, etc. When he hits someone in the house, I lose my temper and scream at him. I don't hit GP70 because I'm not going to jail. These hitting/screaming fits don't happen all the time, just a few times in the last year. But the DS8 vs. Grandfathers happens every day. I know it's important for children to respect their elders and all that, but when the elders are calling his name 20 times a day, poke.. poke.. poke.. DS8 can't possibly be expected to go be best buddies with them, or ignore them completely. He's not old enough to have developed some of the more mature coping mechanisms either. Any ideas?