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Parent Emeritus
A big step for difficult child and me
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 625740" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>The truth about our daughters is that they do not value the things we do, Recovering. Both our daughters had everything we ever wanted for them, once upon a time, but it wasn't enough. We keep trying to help them get back there because we never did understand that what they needed to feel happy, to feel alive, had nothing to do with anything we can even recognize. They love to run along that growing edge Brene Brown talks about ~ but they are far, far out there, where the edge turns razor thin, and cuts deep.</p><p></p><p>Not so long ago, I came to understand that most of what I really felt for my daughter had somehow turned into judgment, into an unspoken condemnation that had something to do with my failure to protect and with her repeated failure to be, and to have, and to cherish, what I wanted for her.</p><p></p><p>It was so messed up, Recovering. </p><p></p><p>And I realized I could keep on like that forever, or...I could love her and let her go.</p><p></p><p>And when that really happened for me, Recovering? When I really, finally, all at once forgave my child for who she was, forgave myself for all the things I beat myself up with because she was who she was?</p><p></p><p>There was such joy there, Recovering.</p><p></p><p>It's a bittersweet kind of feeling.</p><p> </p><p>[media=youtube]MHqq7PDv2Ic[/media]</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 625740, member: 17461"] The truth about our daughters is that they do not value the things we do, Recovering. Both our daughters had everything we ever wanted for them, once upon a time, but it wasn't enough. We keep trying to help them get back there because we never did understand that what they needed to feel happy, to feel alive, had nothing to do with anything we can even recognize. They love to run along that growing edge Brene Brown talks about ~ but they are far, far out there, where the edge turns razor thin, and cuts deep. Not so long ago, I came to understand that most of what I really felt for my daughter had somehow turned into judgment, into an unspoken condemnation that had something to do with my failure to protect and with her repeated failure to be, and to have, and to cherish, what I wanted for her. It was so messed up, Recovering. And I realized I could keep on like that forever, or...I could love her and let her go. And when that really happened for me, Recovering? When I really, finally, all at once forgave my child for who she was, forgave myself for all the things I beat myself up with because she was who she was? There was such joy there, Recovering. It's a bittersweet kind of feeling. [media=youtube]MHqq7PDv2Ic[/media] Cedar [/QUOTE]
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A big step for difficult child and me
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