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<blockquote data-quote="pasajes4" data-source="post: 667706" data-attributes="member: 12856"><p>He told me that while he was locked up and then being held on a mental ward for being caught smoking weed while in the hospital, all he could think of was being free. When I refused to allow him to come home he was devastated, he spent a few days wandering around the other side of town. It finally dawned on him that he had finally gotten what he wanted.....to totally be free from anyone demanding that he follow the rules. He smiled a bit sheepishly at me and said in a very quiet voice, " Mom there are rules on how you survive when you don't have anyplace to go." I couldn't say anything. He wanted me to know that he does not hate me but he also will never fit into my world. It is not something he can put a name to nor does he have the words to describe it. It is more than racial. It is deeper than that. I understood what he meant. I think I have always known that in the very core of my being. The harder I tried to make that not the truth....it just became more true. He rebelled against my attempts in the way that many kids rebel....... I should feel sad, but I don't. I feel a deep sense of love for him as he is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pasajes4, post: 667706, member: 12856"] He told me that while he was locked up and then being held on a mental ward for being caught smoking weed while in the hospital, all he could think of was being free. When I refused to allow him to come home he was devastated, he spent a few days wandering around the other side of town. It finally dawned on him that he had finally gotten what he wanted.....to totally be free from anyone demanding that he follow the rules. He smiled a bit sheepishly at me and said in a very quiet voice, " Mom there are rules on how you survive when you don't have anyplace to go." I couldn't say anything. He wanted me to know that he does not hate me but he also will never fit into my world. It is not something he can put a name to nor does he have the words to describe it. It is more than racial. It is deeper than that. I understood what he meant. I think I have always known that in the very core of my being. The harder I tried to make that not the truth....it just became more true. He rebelled against my attempts in the way that many kids rebel....... I should feel sad, but I don't. I feel a deep sense of love for him as he is. [/QUOTE]
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