A Close Encounter

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by DDD, Jan 23, 2009.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I have a headache which is unusual. Within the next thirty or so I have to go to the store and takeover. Darn it.

    At 1 AM easy child/difficult child came home and handed me the key to my car. He left the car where he had gone for a bbq. He was drunk as a skunk. Proudly he told me and his Grandad "you can be proud of me because I called girlfriend to come pick me up so I wouldn't drive". Then he said "girlfriend is in charge of me and I'm going to spend the night at her house."

    At 2:30 easy child/difficult child calls me and says "Mama please come get me right now.The police are going to take girlfriend to jail for DUI but if you come quick I think they'll let me go home with you". I went. He was right (although he was so obnoxiously smashed that the police threatened him with arrest for disorderly conduct).

    The drive home took about ten minutes. He was so completely out of it that FOUR times he tried to call girlfriend to talk to her. FOUR times I told him girlfriend is in jail. THREE times he was completely shocked and didn't believe me......the FOURTH time as we came in the kitchen door :( he headed to the phone to call the jail to see if I was right. THEN...he told the woman in booking "Let girlfriend go. I'll get her a safe ride home. You can arrest me instead. I was driving the car." :sad-very:

    I can't tell you how traumatic it was to hear his little, quiet, 25 y.o. girlfriend screaming and moaning when she realized she was going to jail. She was screaming for easy child/difficult child to come save her. OMG!

    He begged me to go "post her bail". He begged husband to go "post her bail". He kept saying "you don't understand...she is not the jail type". husband actually heard all the ruckus and came to help me. He steered easy child/difficult child to his bedroom and I called girlfriend's Mother. She had already heard from the booking people and for DUI girlfriend had to stay eight hours.

    How sad addition is for all of us. I pray that girlfriend will have "hit the bottom" for her alcoholism. I'm sipping chicken soup and nibbling crackers in hopes my head and my stomach settle pronto. :faint: DDD
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2009
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    What a night...sorry you have a headache but I can see why you do. It sounds like they both need to stop drinking. I'm glad to hear he wasn't driving though.
  3. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Oh DDD, I'm so sorry for such a rough night.
    girlfriend sure does seem first and foremost in easy child/difficult child's mind. I too hope both she and easy child/difficult child learn a lesson from this. Maybe they will hit an AA meeting soon, dunno.

    Yesterday I left the AA Big Book sitting in my young difficult child's room. All he can think of is his next drink...I just know that sooner or later he'll get consequences too.

    Wish these kids would figure it out. Alcohol is NOT the answer, so destructive.

    Hope your headache gets better soon.
    Hugs and love,
    lms, Tammy
  4. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Jeesh!!! I am so sorry. You must be exhausted. Get some rest when you can. I hope your headache goes away soon and your tummy feels better.

    Maybe the girlfriend will get some help now that she is "in the system".

    Keep us posted. :)
  5. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    What a horrible night! I hope the whole thing will end up to girlfriend's benefit, ie her getting sent to AA or outpatient rehab. At least that would bring some potential good out of it.

    I hope your headache went away! Try to get some rest tonight.
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Just sending a hug. Addiction is an ugly thing. Everyday I see young people in my community who are ruining their relationships, economic futures, and health because of their unhealthy choices. I don't have an answer to the problem, but I do hope daily that they realize what they are doing to their lives and make other choices.
  7. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    OMG, DDD, no wonder you had a headache ! Arghhhh about him trying to save girlfriend and say he was driving.

    Maybe this will be the "it" moment for the two of them.

    Sending mega hugs your way,
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Nope.........no bottom hitting around here. girlfriend spent 8 hours in jail and then her Mom got her out. She is angry at easy child/difficult child because "she was fine until he tried to kiss her while she was driving which caused her to swerve a bit and attracted the police". :( Care to guess what her BAC reading was??? TWICE the maximum.

    She got out of jail Friday AM at 10:30 and called easy child/difficult child to leave a message that she was OK and out of jail. easy child/difficult child, of course, slept until Friday evening due to drunkeness + missed brain medications. At 8 PM, girlfriend called from "their" neighborhood bar so see if he wanted to be picked up. Good Grief! He decided to stay at home.

    Last night, Saturday, he called and left a message at 1 AM "don't worry I'm at girlfriend's and will be home in the morning..I love you". At 2 AM he called and left a message "Mama, please pick up the phone I need to talk to you" At 2:30 AM he left a message saying "I'm OK. Don't worry. I'm at girlfriend's" and then at 3 AM he called and said "Hi, I'm at girlfriend's so you don't need to worry. I know I have to work tomorrow afternoon and I will be home at lunch. I love you."

    Hmmmmmmm. Do you think they both were smashed again? What a life. I told him when he called around 8 PM to see how I was feeling etc. "Son I'm going to turn the phone ringer completely off tonight. I will not hear any calls or any messages so I can have a good nights sleep." He "You don't have to worry about me Mama. Wake me up if you need anything during the night. I love you."

    SO....no hitting bottom for either of them. I'm glad I detached enough to turn off the phone. Yikes. DDD
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2009
  9. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    ((HUGS)) DDD,
    It sounds like it was just good fortune difficult child/easy child wasn't driving. When they're that drunk, they don't make any good decisions, nor do they even know what's going on from minute to minute. Neither one of them remember what happened last night, I'm sure. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, these two are bringing each other down. I hope your headache is better.-Alyssa