a couple of questions

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by busybee, Aug 24, 2008.

  1. busybee

    busybee New Member

    Okay, I'm new to all of this since my son has just been recently diagnosed. I just have a few questions.
    How many of you have discovered after your children have been diagnosed that you have a problem as well?
    How many of you have more than one difficult child?

    I ask both of these questions for a reason. I have started doing some research about myself and believe I may have ADD/ADHD. I have struggled with my own issues for years, but never really thought to go seek professional help. It is very frustrating to me because I look back on my teenage years and wish I could have gotten help then. It would have made my life much easier.
    Also, I have noticed my youngest easy child exhibiting behaviors very similar to my difficult child's behaviors at his age, although not quite as severe. I'm hoping that we don't have the same issues with her. My son has a different bio father, so I think some of his issues come from there, but as I said previously, I think I may have some as well.
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Great questions! I don't have any problems (hahaha!!!), but I've got an attitude a mile wide. Honestly, I think that there's a pretty strong tendency with many of my sibs that Aspergers was there. I'd probably have been defined in this day and age as ODD, because I was "The Enforcer" in our house (6 kids!). If someone hit one of my sisters, I was the one who made them "suffer the consequenses". I was also quite the negotiator!

    My two boys are aspies, and my daughter has anxiety issues directly related to difficult child 1's meltdowns.

    Most of our generation were non-diagnosed because so little was known about all of the issues. And I hate to break it to you, but I don't even think we've scratched the surface yet!

    Watch your daughter carefully and have her tested as she gets older. The sooner any diagnosis and intervention takes place, the less trouble she'll have.

  3. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    Well, I think lots of difficult child-ness is hereditary and some is environmental. My ex's family is full of difficult child's. My mother is bipolar and always has been. I was a wild teen but grew out of it. I had mild depression when difficult child first started showing symptoms and when she was in day treatment I started taking an anti deppressant.

  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I have two, maybe three difficult child's.

    husband was declared to have ADHD around the same time difficult child 2 was diagnosed with ADHD, but I suspected it long before even difficult child 1 was diagnosed.

    I KNEW I had a problem at the time of difficult child 2's diagnosis because I was falling apart physically and mentally because of the stress from being SURROUNDED by difficult child's!

    difficult child 2 has been diagnosed with a mood disorder, and it is suspected that husband has one as well, especially since he has responded so well to medications that were originally prescribed for seizures but had the added benefit of making him more agreeable to live with!

    It's not unusual for parents of difficult child's to suddenly see bits of themselves coming out in their child's diagnosis (unless, of course, you have adopted).
  5. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Yes, Yes and Yes... K has Mood Disorder (Bipolar) a LOT on my side of the family have Mental Illness. I myself have Bipolar Disorder, even though I was hospitalized and have had every symptom since I was very little I was not diagnosis'd until around 1.5 years ago.
    My little one N who is 4 also shows signs of something! She has been diagnosis'd with sensory processing disorder (SPD) and has pretty bad anxiety... she is not showing the same symptoms nor the severity as K did at this age. Thank Goodness.

    When you realize you child has issues, special needs it really does make you look at yourself. Even if nothing is serious, you will question everything you do for awhile. i think because you start reading ALL of the diagnosis's and symptoms and all of the books you do see things wrong with you, and sometimes you really do have an issue!
    I am grateful I was diagnosis'd finally and could get the help and direction I needed. i would not be able to focus on the girls and help like I should if I was not semi-stable most of the time.
  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    We describe ourselves as having two and a half kids on the autism spectrum. With hindsight, we can see similar characteristics in various family members on both sides, including mildly in husband.

    Something you need to bear in mind - where you have one clearly diagnosed difficult child in the family, you are more likely to seek help for even milld issues in another family member. And where you look - often you find. If every member of the population was subject to the same sort of scrutiny we put all our family members through, the diagnosis rate for a wide range of GFGness would be a great deal higher.

  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    After my son was diagnosed my mother started watching herself. SHe is now diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type. She is on ritalin. It does help her focus, and we can sure tell when seh needs another dose. She can't take any extended release medication because she also has a liver disease. We worry about the effects of the ritalin, but she feels seh can accomplish more on the medication, so it is a good thing. I do NOT have ADHD, in fact the trial of ritalin the doctor gave me so I would have an idea what it was doing to Wiz made me crazy. It stayed active for MUCH longer than it should have, and was very scary. I was glad I arranged for the kids to be with a friend and for husband to be with me that day. I do have significant depression, and had MAJOR PMS when I had a uterus. Prozac is the ONLY medication that ever worked for my depression.

    I DO think that kids should first take a mood stabilizer, no matter what the problem. Just because so many medications are given that could make a mood disorder worse and cover it up. But that is MY opinion and most docs do NOT agree. Getting a trial of a mood stabilizer for Wiz was never something the docs woudl agree to. The current useless psychiatrist spends 3 minutes with him - just long enough to write the rx. He is doing well, through no fault of the psychiatrist and much credit to himself, the grandparents and Ari (his best friend, a girl, she tolerates NOTHING in the realm of bad behavior. Even the "raves" at the gaming place are drug, drink and smoke free. She made him leave with me the night he "ran away" out of fear my mom would die. We LOVE Ari!!)

    I can say I see MANY Aspie traits in myself. Enough that I woudl probably be diagnosed aspie based on my history and how girls handle Aspergers. But being diagnosed would not really help as i don't need any of those kinds of medications or interventions. I figured out how to handle things on my own. But I was an interesting child to raise, LOL!!

    My dad is SOOOO Aspie. Mom and I were reading a teachers handbook on Aspergers once and for EVERY trait we looked at each other and said "Dad". it was funny. he also figured out how to cope. And it was very interesting to be raised by him. As Wiz has discovered!
  8. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Early on when my daughter was diagnosis with ADHD and I started doing research I absolutely diagnosis myself as well. My mother said back when I was in elementary school they called it day dreaming. I was never evaluated and given an actual diagnosis, however I did need the resource room for extra help. Throughout my schooling I did find it very difficult to stay focused. As a child I had to always be occupied, I just couldn't sit still and watch tv, I needed much more to make me happy. As an adult, I am a complete scatter brain!!! I forget everything and lose everything that is not tied down. I have all the symptoms of ADD, not really hyper anymore, now that I am an old lady!! lol Every time I leave the house I have to stop and recheck if I turned the lights off, the coffee pot off, if I locked the door, if I have my keys and so on..... I am so utterly disorganized, my sister has to hold all of my important documents as I will end up losing them. I have tried my daughter's Concerta before and it did help a little. At this point I am so used to living this way that I wouldn't even bother taking medication for it. I just know that I must second guess myself at all times.

    I think I tend to read into my son's behaviors way too much as I am so nervous he will be a difficult child. His teachers laugh at me because I am constantly asking if they notice anything I should be concerned about. They say absolutely not, he is just fine and has no issues. Thank God because I don't know if I could handle two difficult children!!! I drive myself crazy with worry, if my son is a little hyper one day I am thinking "oh great, he is ADHD" and I start analyzing his every move. Knock on wood, he seems to be just fine. He is actually a very good boy. I am so blessed with him, he is a sweet kid. When my daughter is having a bad week and displaying difficult child like behaviors my son will mimic them on a very small scale. I worry about that a lot. I try to explain to him that his sister can't help some of her behaviors as she has a boo boo in her brain. He gets it to a certain degree, but I'm sure it's natural for him to follow what he lives. That is scary.
  9. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Susie, you said (about your mother), "She can't take any extended release medication because she also has a liver disease."

    Is there a connection? I've not heard of one at all, but if you have any info on it I would really appreciate it. It could explain why my liver is still in lousy condition, even after years of trying to look after it. It also means I probably should warn my (now adult) kids on medications so they can get their docs to keep an eye on their liver function.

    On the family connection - sometimes there can be a connection with other factors which don't necessarily need to be dysfunctional. For example, Temple Grandin has pointed out the apparent connection between autism, and other family members with high IQ. She described autism as possible "an overdose of genius." She said that it was possible that kids with autism have, in large measure, what produces genius in small measure.

  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    While researching after Miss KT's diagnosis, Hubby (stepdad) was seeing many similarities, and he was diagnosis'd as ADD. I firmly believe Useless Boy and his mother both have ADHD along with other things, just from observing their behaviors and their irrational world views. Will they be treated? Oh, no...we're a nice family, no mental problems here. If it's not acknowledged, it doesn't exist.

    I'm being treated for anxiety, but I'm not sure how much of that is Miss KT-induced. Jury's still out on that one.
  11. luvmyottb

    luvmyottb Guest

    Son was diagnosed with Adhd inattentive type. While researching for my son, husband took the ADHD questionaire and he totally fits ADHD with hyperactivity. He now takes Vyvanse and it has totally helped son and husband at work and school.

    I am the only non ADD person in the family, although prone to depression;)