TheyAreLegallyAdultsNow
Member
sister in law and her hubby were awarded "foster parents of the year" two years ago for their dedication and previous successes with troubled foster kids.
They've got kids of their own (aged 10-15)
My sister in law works very hard at helping these kids overcome their vast and varied "issues" it consumes much of her time and attention. The latest foster placement has my niece and nephews hurting... lacking parental attention from their parents... the "super-foster-parents."
Yes, sister in law and brother in law do WONDERS for the various troubled kids... but I can't help but wonder what is the cost to their "own!"
Their current foster placement is 3 sisters with MASSIVE abuse/mental-health issues. (The three fosters are part of an 8 child sibling group that is divided among various homes) It is NOT those poor kids' fault that they have issues. NO ONE should have experienced what those poor kids have!!!!! For them their mental illnesses and behaviors are forms of coping and survival... I get it.
But there ARE other kids in the house whose lives are being traumatized by the presence of the 3 severely traumatized foster kids!!!
When we were up visiting... after all the other kids went to bed, my 15 year old niece put her phone shaped fingers to her ear and mouth and proclaimed...
"Hello? Social Services? This is Mr & Mrs_____ You need to get these foster kids out of our home! We tried our best! They need more help than we can give them! We have our own kids to raise. They need our time and attention too! There will be PLENTY of time for us to save the world when our own children have grown! We can go back to fostering in a few short years. Thank you! Good-bye!"
I know it is traumatic for kids to be moved around within the system. I really do get it! I really do!!!!!! Our own daughter (who we adopted out of foster care) bounced around different foster homes about every 90 days because foster families couldn't tolerate her Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) behaviors in their home. Did all those moves negatively impact her? Absolutely!!!! But the moves compounded an already existing very serious problem.
I think there is wisdom in saying "As awesome as we have been at fostering, this placement is not good for our family our own children are suffering."
Sometimes disrupting a placement is best for all involved...
I know my sister in law and brother in law heard their daughter that night... I just wish they had HEARD her!
They've got kids of their own (aged 10-15)
My sister in law works very hard at helping these kids overcome their vast and varied "issues" it consumes much of her time and attention. The latest foster placement has my niece and nephews hurting... lacking parental attention from their parents... the "super-foster-parents."
Yes, sister in law and brother in law do WONDERS for the various troubled kids... but I can't help but wonder what is the cost to their "own!"
Their current foster placement is 3 sisters with MASSIVE abuse/mental-health issues. (The three fosters are part of an 8 child sibling group that is divided among various homes) It is NOT those poor kids' fault that they have issues. NO ONE should have experienced what those poor kids have!!!!! For them their mental illnesses and behaviors are forms of coping and survival... I get it.
But there ARE other kids in the house whose lives are being traumatized by the presence of the 3 severely traumatized foster kids!!!
When we were up visiting... after all the other kids went to bed, my 15 year old niece put her phone shaped fingers to her ear and mouth and proclaimed...
"Hello? Social Services? This is Mr & Mrs_____ You need to get these foster kids out of our home! We tried our best! They need more help than we can give them! We have our own kids to raise. They need our time and attention too! There will be PLENTY of time for us to save the world when our own children have grown! We can go back to fostering in a few short years. Thank you! Good-bye!"
I know it is traumatic for kids to be moved around within the system. I really do get it! I really do!!!!!! Our own daughter (who we adopted out of foster care) bounced around different foster homes about every 90 days because foster families couldn't tolerate her Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) behaviors in their home. Did all those moves negatively impact her? Absolutely!!!! But the moves compounded an already existing very serious problem.
I think there is wisdom in saying "As awesome as we have been at fostering, this placement is not good for our family our own children are suffering."
Sometimes disrupting a placement is best for all involved...
I know my sister in law and brother in law heard their daughter that night... I just wish they had HEARD her!