TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Girlfriend H found out, or at least, decided to "see" that ex girlfriend is pregnant.
They had a blowup but she and difficult child are still together.
%*#$*#! Love is truly blind!
He spent an entire day last week on his cell phone, talking to her, negotiating, explaining ... from his point of view, certainly.
I was going to turn off the phone svc until he told me that he can still use it on wifi. Which means that I now know that I have to unplug and remove the Verizon battery unit and take it out of the house. Why didn't I think of that before? Of course, then I cannot use my computer, but I do have a laptop and am learning how to use it.
We met some nice people last month. Decided to get together at our house for dinner. They have two adopted boys, 17 and 18. So excited to get the boys together. Old girlfriend showed up in a beautiful dress. Never said a word but was well mannered. That was the day/night that difficult child and H got into it about the pregnancy. So difficult child refused to come into the house.
New friend comes up to me and says, "Is difficult child okay?"
"No," I said. "He's never okay but today is worse. I am so sorry. I wanted the boys to meet."
He was so nice about it. "difficult child is a work in progress. God gives us these kids to work on because he knows we can do it."
Very sweet. I nearly cried right there in the kitchen because of the sentiment. However, I disagree theologically and philosophically. I think it's the luck of the die.
difficult child finally quit Cutco. Amen to that. He's been applying for lots of jobs. I still think he should apply for more. 24/7.
He spent an evening at the local community college for orientation with-G. This is her first yr. difficult child wants to go there. Great plan, but he can't go if he flunks HS. He wore a collared sport shirt and looked nice. Came home and said it was a boring disappointment. But now he knows the campus and rooms and some of the admin.
husband and I went out of town for one night to visit easy child. Last time we did this, difficult child took care of all 3 dogs and 2 cats, made his own meals, did a great job.
This time was an utter failure.
difficult child left Sun. a.m. early after feeding the dogs and cats and didn't come home until 7:15 p.m., right when we walked in the door. Spent the entire day with-H at her job. Dog poop and pee everywhere. Freezer door stuck open because of a box of sausages, with melted frozen fruit dripping everywhere. Had to throw away unrecognizable slush (meat or fish or fruit? Ew.)
We had difficult child help us clean up and then sat him down and told him we were extremely disappointed. We expected him to do a great job like he did last time.
I had also promised to let him take the car to school Tues for Sr pictures. I told him that because of this lack of responsibility, he could not have the car. Plus, I am drug testing him again today, which is kind of a moot point, since I won't let him have the car anyway.
husband and I got into a huge argument while we were with easy child. Good thing she's a therapist! She had to facilitate. We both want difficult child out of the house earlier than our original plan. We want him out before the baby comes. (Actually, husband said he is willing to take care of the baby because he knows she'll be neglected. I said absolutely not. It's my time for my career now. I painted and wrote a bit, but it was all bits and pieces because my main job was being a mom.) I am willing to pay/subsidize an apt and husband is not. He says that difficult child "wins." I really couldn't care less. For me, *I* win because he's out and he's safe. If he wrecks the apt and gets evicted, THEN he's on the street. I will never make it until school is out at this rate. I had higher expectations both for difficult child and for my own tolerance level.
So ... we have to calmly sit down and make a plan.
I've been reading MrHappy's notes and completely understand both sides. My difficult child is Aspie Lite and Bipolar (screw the psychiatric and his diagnosis of dysthymia). I don't think difficult child can really make it on his own but *I* need to make it in my own life.
They had a blowup but she and difficult child are still together.
%*#$*#! Love is truly blind!
He spent an entire day last week on his cell phone, talking to her, negotiating, explaining ... from his point of view, certainly.
I was going to turn off the phone svc until he told me that he can still use it on wifi. Which means that I now know that I have to unplug and remove the Verizon battery unit and take it out of the house. Why didn't I think of that before? Of course, then I cannot use my computer, but I do have a laptop and am learning how to use it.
We met some nice people last month. Decided to get together at our house for dinner. They have two adopted boys, 17 and 18. So excited to get the boys together. Old girlfriend showed up in a beautiful dress. Never said a word but was well mannered. That was the day/night that difficult child and H got into it about the pregnancy. So difficult child refused to come into the house.
New friend comes up to me and says, "Is difficult child okay?"
"No," I said. "He's never okay but today is worse. I am so sorry. I wanted the boys to meet."
He was so nice about it. "difficult child is a work in progress. God gives us these kids to work on because he knows we can do it."
Very sweet. I nearly cried right there in the kitchen because of the sentiment. However, I disagree theologically and philosophically. I think it's the luck of the die.
difficult child finally quit Cutco. Amen to that. He's been applying for lots of jobs. I still think he should apply for more. 24/7.
He spent an evening at the local community college for orientation with-G. This is her first yr. difficult child wants to go there. Great plan, but he can't go if he flunks HS. He wore a collared sport shirt and looked nice. Came home and said it was a boring disappointment. But now he knows the campus and rooms and some of the admin.
husband and I went out of town for one night to visit easy child. Last time we did this, difficult child took care of all 3 dogs and 2 cats, made his own meals, did a great job.
This time was an utter failure.
difficult child left Sun. a.m. early after feeding the dogs and cats and didn't come home until 7:15 p.m., right when we walked in the door. Spent the entire day with-H at her job. Dog poop and pee everywhere. Freezer door stuck open because of a box of sausages, with melted frozen fruit dripping everywhere. Had to throw away unrecognizable slush (meat or fish or fruit? Ew.)
We had difficult child help us clean up and then sat him down and told him we were extremely disappointed. We expected him to do a great job like he did last time.
I had also promised to let him take the car to school Tues for Sr pictures. I told him that because of this lack of responsibility, he could not have the car. Plus, I am drug testing him again today, which is kind of a moot point, since I won't let him have the car anyway.
husband and I got into a huge argument while we were with easy child. Good thing she's a therapist! She had to facilitate. We both want difficult child out of the house earlier than our original plan. We want him out before the baby comes. (Actually, husband said he is willing to take care of the baby because he knows she'll be neglected. I said absolutely not. It's my time for my career now. I painted and wrote a bit, but it was all bits and pieces because my main job was being a mom.) I am willing to pay/subsidize an apt and husband is not. He says that difficult child "wins." I really couldn't care less. For me, *I* win because he's out and he's safe. If he wrecks the apt and gets evicted, THEN he's on the street. I will never make it until school is out at this rate. I had higher expectations both for difficult child and for my own tolerance level.
So ... we have to calmly sit down and make a plan.
I've been reading MrHappy's notes and completely understand both sides. My difficult child is Aspie Lite and Bipolar (screw the psychiatric and his diagnosis of dysthymia). I don't think difficult child can really make it on his own but *I* need to make it in my own life.
