A few humors to cheer us

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Star*, Mar 2, 2009.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.
    One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped
    up behind her. "Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked.
    Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!"
    They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of it that Dad confessed.
    His question had actually been directed to the family dog, lying near Mom's feet on the kitchen floor.

    A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called,
    "What've you got in your truck?"
    "Fertilizer," the farmer replied.
    "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.
    "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.
    "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."

    A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' Mother's name?"
    One child answered, "Mary."
    The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' Father's name was?"
    Another child said, "The Verge."
    Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
    The little one said, "Well, you know they are always talking about The Verge 'n' Mary."

    Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
    Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
    "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
    "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
    He yelled back, "University of Auburn."
    And they say blondes are dumb!!!
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!


    That's one I'll have to share with my brother in law Virgil!!! by the way, his sister's name IS Mary. Really!
  3. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    True story: when difficult children were about 6 we had a neighbor who raised llamas. She worked as an OB nurse at the hospital. Trying to find a way to keep hyper twins busy, I took them for the long walk to her farm. She showed the boys around and said "well, I'm off to deliver some babies!". Both difficult children ran to the back of her pick up to get a glimpse of the payload!!! That was before we told them about the birds and the bees.
  4. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    LOL! :D Thank you!