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A First Attempt
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 695736" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>You are right, he may never be ok in the way you would hope but YOU can be ok. It is time for you to focus on yourself. Not only is it ok, it's healthy. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Karisma, I think every mom here has felt like she was the worst kind of mother ever. I know I have had those feelings. While it's sad, I also think it's very normal for us to feel that way. We love our children and we had hopes and dreams for them that did not come to fruition. We, you, me, all the moms & dads here, are not bad mothers or fathers. The fact that we are on this site seeking help and guidance is proof of the love we have for our children. We have all done the best we could and that is enough. There are never any guarantees about how our kids will turn out. We have no control over the choices they make. We only have control over how we choose to respond and we choose to live our own lives.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I think you email to him was very well written and from your heart. </p><p></p><p></p><p>So true but again, we have no control over what they will do. I will never understand why my son chose to live the life of a homeless drifter for several years. Currently he is more stable, he's a pot farmer. When the growing season is over I'm sure he will go back to wondering. I don't like it but I do accept it.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I used to think this of my son also. I was always worried about him living on the streets, how would he survive, surely he would die. I have come to understand and accept that yes he could die, the fact is, he and so many others that choose this type of life manage to survive quite well. They network and learn from each other. It's not the life I had hoped for my son but those were my dreams and for him.</p><p></p><p></p><p>This is wonderful. I'm so glad you are here with us. I truly wish I had found this site about 15 years ago. There is something so affirming in knowing that we are not alone in this.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you.......................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 695736, member: 18516"] You are right, he may never be ok in the way you would hope but YOU can be ok. It is time for you to focus on yourself. Not only is it ok, it's healthy. Karisma, I think every mom here has felt like she was the worst kind of mother ever. I know I have had those feelings. While it's sad, I also think it's very normal for us to feel that way. We love our children and we had hopes and dreams for them that did not come to fruition. We, you, me, all the moms & dads here, are not bad mothers or fathers. The fact that we are on this site seeking help and guidance is proof of the love we have for our children. We have all done the best we could and that is enough. There are never any guarantees about how our kids will turn out. We have no control over the choices they make. We only have control over how we choose to respond and we choose to live our own lives. I think you email to him was very well written and from your heart. So true but again, we have no control over what they will do. I will never understand why my son chose to live the life of a homeless drifter for several years. Currently he is more stable, he's a pot farmer. When the growing season is over I'm sure he will go back to wondering. I don't like it but I do accept it. I used to think this of my son also. I was always worried about him living on the streets, how would he survive, surely he would die. I have come to understand and accept that yes he could die, the fact is, he and so many others that choose this type of life manage to survive quite well. They network and learn from each other. It's not the life I had hoped for my son but those were my dreams and for him. This is wonderful. I'm so glad you are here with us. I truly wish I had found this site about 15 years ago. There is something so affirming in knowing that we are not alone in this. ((HUGS)) to you....................... [/QUOTE]
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