A great visit with our difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by zba189, Aug 27, 2010.

  1. zba189

    zba189 Guest

    Yesterday we had our first "home" visit with difficult child. It was wonderful. We live about 2.5 hrs away from the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and have been visiting every few days but have had to stay at the complex and by the time we drive all the way in we can only stay for an hour. Yesterday we got to take T off the complex and around town for about 5 hours. I realize that this isn't home and I'm still a little nervous about bringing T back here because this is the only place he has ever really shown his GFGdom.
    I know things are not going to be perfect when he gets home. I know that I should plan for the worst but hope for the best. I'm trying hard to be real about the situation, I'm trying to remember what got us to this point but I'm seeing signs of improvement. I left last night and really missed him. T has a heart warming smile that was lost during these last few months but it was back yesterday.
    T worked all day on a special card for me. He was able to ride in our car without throwing anything or screaming at the top of his lungs (something that didn't happen at all during the last three weeks that he was home before he was admitted). He was happy and easy going. He still was anxious at times but was able to calm himself. He was "nudged" by easy child 1 with a few comments but handled everything with an even mood. He talked freely about what happened here and what he was so angry about. He talked about things he's learning (and he is really learning and do a lot of the things that they have taught him) and ways we can help him. The medications are helping.
    A small little thing to bring a little hope and to hold onto. I think we'll request a home visit next weekend to test the waters with a little more reality of day to day family life.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Awesome!! Be aware that it can take months for those behaviors to become permanent, and be hopeful because he has shown that he CAN learn them!!!!! Six is an age where they are growing and learning so very much, and can become very frustrated and angry if they cannot express or handle all they have learned and see others learning/doing. The way he behaved shows a ton of progress and even more hope!!!!!

    Remember that many children seem to take medications just fine while in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but at home balk at taking them. Have a plan in mind to handle this at home. If you allow him to refuse taking his medications at age six there will be little you can do about it when he is older. For many of our kids they require medications to be able to use any other tools, so it is a very important issue to be 110% unmovable on. Plan now for what you will do if he ever refuses to take his medications. My kids were all told from a very young age that if they EVER refused medications that they would be not only physically forced to take them, but also would lose whatever privileges/toys that mattered most, with the exception of their "lovey". I started very young, before problems, after watching my aunt cajole her 3yo into taking a dose of Tylenol for a 104.6 degree fever for over 2 hours. He thought it was a game. He also knew I didn't play games and when I took the medication and told him to swallow or I would hold him down until he did, he took it with no problems, smiling the whole time. I then gave him a spoon of choc syrup and told him that if he took whatever medications Mommy and Daddy said to, or gave to a teacher or babysitter to give him, then he would get a spoonful of choc syrup when Mommy and Daddy got home or picked him up. The only times he ever gave grief over medications was the time after his dad decided it was dumb to give choc syrup after. My cousin even called me crying (he was 5 then).

    Figure out a plan, keeping in mind that some medications taste truly awful and even burn the tongue of some children. If the medications burn his tongue, have him suck an ice cube or popsicle for a few minutes first - it numbs the tongue.

    I hope that he is able to continue to use his tools when he comes home. It sounds like he is making great progress!! Are they teaching you some of the methods they are using with him?