A horrendous night - kt ran!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Dec 20, 2009.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    After I fell asleep last night kt took off; she went into a car with 2 guys she'd never met before & her BFF.

    She didn't come home until 7 this morning. I knew she was gone when I woke around 6:30 & talked to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to inform them. I was on the phone with the police reporting kt missing when she came pounding on the back door.

    kt admitted to having unprotected sex & various & other sundry, real holiday activities. Ick!

    kt told me she had been smoking for 3 months now so she & I sat on the front porch having a cigarette while I listened to all details of her evening out. I heard every sickening detail.

    I informed ktbug that she will be calling her doctor tomorrow & asking if she needed to be seen or tested for anything. If she was old enough to make this kind of decision, she was old enough to talk to her pediatrician doctor (kt hates disappointing pediatrician doctor). Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff backed me up on this & is making sure kt makes this call.

    I just returned from taking kt back to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) & completing the incident report. kt is now going to be on day passes if she wants to come home. There will be a report to mental health case manager who will double think about allowing kt home after her discharge date. If kt cannot/will not stay in the house; cannot be trusted not to run she may end up in foster care. Ick!

    I can't stay awake all the time just because babydoll decides she's going out to "satisfy her needs". Ick!

    Ick, Ick, Ick!
  2. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    Oh Linda, I'm so sorry. If it's not one thing going on, it's another. These children are making us way older than our time.....
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Oh Linda,

    I am so sorry she is continuing to make horrid choices. I know foster care would totally stink but maybe it can be more blended than wm? Maybe she can come home after school until bedtime (with PCA help) and then go sleep at the foster home???

  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Many hugs, Linda. I'm so sorry.
  5. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Sending gentle {{{hugs}}}...
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well I'm glad that FINALLY they are thinking again about discharging her. If she can't get thru a visit at Christmas without doing this, she cannot take care of herself and make wise decisions without a higher level of supervision than a typical family home can offer.

    I'm sorry, Linda. I hope she tests ok and hasn't ended up with more difficulties for herself and everyone else.
  7. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Linda, I'm so sorry. What a disappointment. You seem to have handled it really well, though.

    These kids -- what they put us through!


    Love, Esther
  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    How heartbreaking! and I agree....Ick! Ick! Ick!

    Hopefully there will be more thought put into discharge arrangements--clearly you will need waaaay more help.


  9. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!


    I'm so sorry that kt is still insisting on making bad choices. I'm not sure how I feel about her giving you every gory detail. Is she trying to shock you? I know that kt's developmental age does not match her chronological age, but it's very unusual for a child that age to go into that much detail. Especially if they were out doing something they're not supposed to do.

    I wish I had more to offer.

  10. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I'm so sorry Linda. I know you don't want her in foster care again but maybe they could do something like what JJJ suggested. And honestly, if it happens, with her running around like this, I could see the same result even if you were in the best shape of your life. There's no way you (or even you and husband if he were still here) could stay on her 24/7. There would be many things you COULD do to watch her, keep her in the house, etc., but she would still find a way. Heck, the girl ran from a highly supervised, staffed environment.

    I wish I knew something else to say. Sending many soothing hugs.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. Sending hugs for your hurting heart. No mother should have to cope with all that you cope with.
  12. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Just wanted to send many hugs. Your post brought back many nightmares of the past. Bleck. I think you are right on, when you say that you can't stay awake all night worrying. I am glad you have drawn that line in the sand.

    So sorry:mad:
  13. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    So sorry, Linda! Huge Ick factor with all the details, UGH! Do you think she did this because she is afraid to come home?
  14. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member


    I don't know what pediatrician doctor would advise re unprotected sex, but there is morning after pill? and such things (I'm out of touch here)--but there are some time limits etc. Have KT make the call, but maybe you should too.

    I am so sorry. this really really stinks big time. She definitely can't be trusted.


  15. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Linda, I am so sorry.
    Morning after pill sounds good, Pepperidge. Although they can make you really sick, because they are jam-packed with-major league hormones. You've got to make 2-3 dr visits to check on it. Don't know if she'd follow up.
    I am so sorry.
    Kinda funny that you two sat there and smoked while she talked. I'll bet you were as white as a sheet.
    Please, try to get some sleep. There's only so much you can do.
  16. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh geeze Linda...does this mean that you are going to have to install alarms on windows and doors when she comes home? Does this also mean she's longer in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC)?

    Loosing the privilage to stay overnight seems that it would be incentive enough to maintain the rules.....but difficult children and rules don't always follow intelligent thought processes.

    Glad she made it home safely, but so sorry she made such a dangerous and poor choice. Was this her typical bff or a bff from one of her previous stays? Either way, totally inappropriate behavior for a 15 year old.


  17. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    What will stop her from running and engaging in irresponsible behavior in a foster home?

    I'm sorry for you and for kt. What a difficult time adolescence is for our difficult children. Unfortunately it seems to last for a lot longer than other kids. Nothing's easy with them is it?
  18. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Linda - lots and lots of gentle hugs. Not much else to add.

    Someone asked about morning-after pill - here it is available OTC if you are 17+. Had to do this in February for Onyxx.
  19. idohope

    idohope Member

    Hugs and heartfelt thoughts.
  20. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    The one plus is that kt is on birth control & is compliant with it.

    I'm incredibly sad that I gave up potential Christmas holiday plans to stay here with kt & wm. Yet I'm almost numb at kt's actions. There's not a whole lot more that scares me anymore.

    kt will do what she will do - I will help guide her to better decisions however unless she has an adult right next to her it seems a waste. The same goes with wm.

    To answer a question above...I believe kt is sabotaging coming home & she's not aware of it.

    I'm going to spend a quiet week here at home - Christmas Eve (I believe) wm will come for a small home visit with his mental health worker; kt will come for a day pass Christmas day. I'd like to make a special time for both of them but don't have the energy.

    It's likely better this way - too much sorrow, grief from last year.

    Thank you all.