I just read about ODD and things are finally making sense.My daughter is 13 and has been very defiant since she was a toddler. In fact, she displays every single one of the behaviours listed in diagnosing ODD. Before this i thought she was just a difficult child. Now that she is older and her hormones are raging things are getting worse...much worse.I am taking her to see our family doctor today if i can get an appointment and i hope he can refer us to someone who can help. I just hope i havent left it too late. Kaitlin was premature...not very, just 4 weeks early but she has breathing difficulties and was quite sick for a while. I have always felt this impacted on her. She has never really seemed to like being hugged. Its ok if she initiates it, but usually is very stiff and uncomfortable with it. When she was in pre-school she had a period of time where she would not speak while at school. her teacher approached me and let me know that no matter what they tried she refused to speak to them...not a word. They said at first they thought she couldnt speak but then heard her speaking to me in the carpark as we were leaving and were really shocked to actually hear her speak! lol Things have really reached a head now. She argues constantly, everything is "stupid" in her opinion.She will call her dad an i idiots. Yesterday she told us that if we didnt ask her to do chores around the house then she wouldnt have to argue with us.She was recently suspended from school for starting a small fire (she lit a pile of toilet tissue, outside near the classroom.)She couldnt see why that was a problem. It was that day too that i noticed abig burn hole in her school uniform....her freind had sprayed deodorant on her uniform and Kaitlin set light to it. She couldnt see why i was upset about this either. In her opinion it was her uniform so why did it matter to me, and anyway in her opinion it was her freinds fault for spraying deodorant on her. I took her to the school counsellor but kaitlin wouldnt, or couldnt talk to her. Just a lot of "i dont knows"The cousellor told me she feels Kaitlin just doesnt "get it" on an emotional level. Like she cant see how her own behavior impacts on situations and people.... Kaitlin seems to quite like seeing me upset and angry with her...she will laugh in my face.She doesnt care about consequences. Sorry for the long post but i have really needed to get all this out. things are just really bad right now. Before her period she is really unbearable to be around.It like we dont have enough problems with her usual attitude...throw in PMT on top of it!