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A little bit of hope.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 752574" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think we might be alike Beta. Unfortunately for you.</p><p></p><p>I am one of the mothers here who has had the hardest time detaching. I seem to have operated with two speeds. Intensely on and off. I have worked very hard to find another speed, detached with love. It's hard for me, because I am not wired that way.</p><p></p><p>The way you put it,<em> emotionally in bondage</em> is exactly how I feel. I feel like a trapped animal, when I have no control, and my heart is involved. It feels like relief to be able to say even out loud,<em> I don't ever want to see you again. </em> I say it to escape the trap. (Anybody reading this, please know I am not recommending this as a parenting strategy.)</p><p></p><p>Thankfully, my loved ones know that while I might say it in the moment, I don't mean it. They know it's a way that I escape the torture I feel.</p><p></p><p>I think your realization is very powerful. That you go there, to the possibility of never seeing Josh again, for self-protection. But it's one thing to do this, and another to go there in the sense that you believe it is real. That's a big price to pay.</p><p></p><p>I am saying it's one thing to hang out there for a few hours, knowing that it's your safe place, and knowing it's for relief. It's another thing to have our hearts turn. I feel that for me that would be giving up the best thing that I am and that I have been.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 752574, member: 18958"] I think we might be alike Beta. Unfortunately for you. I am one of the mothers here who has had the hardest time detaching. I seem to have operated with two speeds. Intensely on and off. I have worked very hard to find another speed, detached with love. It's hard for me, because I am not wired that way. The way you put it,[I] emotionally in bondage[/I] is exactly how I feel. I feel like a trapped animal, when I have no control, and my heart is involved. It feels like relief to be able to say even out loud,[I] I don't ever want to see you again. [/I] I say it to escape the trap. (Anybody reading this, please know I am not recommending this as a parenting strategy.) Thankfully, my loved ones know that while I might say it in the moment, I don't mean it. They know it's a way that I escape the torture I feel. I think your realization is very powerful. That you go there, to the possibility of never seeing Josh again, for self-protection. But it's one thing to do this, and another to go there in the sense that you believe it is real. That's a big price to pay. I am saying it's one thing to hang out there for a few hours, knowing that it's your safe place, and knowing it's for relief. It's another thing to have our hearts turn. I feel that for me that would be giving up the best thing that I am and that I have been. [/QUOTE]
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