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A little bit of hope.
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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 752696" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>Hello Copa and everyone,</p><p>I have arrived at my destination for my vacation and just read to get caught up here. </p><p></p><p>Copa, these are great changes! I do find that when I set my boundaries and stick to them (despite being afraid of doing that), my DCs respond with respect and movement towards the right direction. And it sounds like that is what happened here. You set a boundary and your son took action . Him saying that being homeless is not fun anymore, smoking less MJ - I see growth and a willingness to see things differently within him. </p><p></p><p>I think volunteering (and sharing your gifts) goes a long way in feeling that we are contributing to society. Your son is of service right now . It will increase his self esteem and his sense of belonging with society. When we share our gifts, good things come back to us. </p><p></p><p>I think its important to be hopeful even if it's uncomfortable. We grow by becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable. Compassion which is the remedy for shame consists of encouragement and understanding. Encouragement requires some hope, I believe . Your son is stretching his growing muscles right now, and encouragement can also mean that I stretch mine along with my young adults. </p><p></p><p>I get the need to shut down. To view things on opposite ends of a spectrum rather than looking in the middle of it . One day at a time is good. Accepting that which is happening in the present moment. And staying present with ourselves in the now. Rather than shutting down stretching towards accepting feelings without a need to change or fix them. Breathing into the present and observing my thoughts, feelings and my ways of wanting to abandon myself with coping mechanisms without judgement. And then not acting on the coping mechanisms.</p><p></p><p>When I am able to stay in the moment with myself , I see that I can tolerate my feelings. Meditation practice has helped me a great deal with this , accessing the stillness inside of me. Over time I have become more easily able to let the feelings melt into the expansiveness of the stillness. It's a turning over to my Higher Power process within me </p><p></p><p>I hope you give yourself a big pat on the back. You acted bravely and with courage, you tolerated fear and anxiety, you moved forward with courage. These are all role modeling to your son how to deal with life . </p><p></p><p>I will pray for you and your son. Sending love!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 752696, member: 24254"] Hello Copa and everyone, I have arrived at my destination for my vacation and just read to get caught up here. Copa, these are great changes! I do find that when I set my boundaries and stick to them (despite being afraid of doing that), my DCs respond with respect and movement towards the right direction. And it sounds like that is what happened here. You set a boundary and your son took action . Him saying that being homeless is not fun anymore, smoking less MJ - I see growth and a willingness to see things differently within him. I think volunteering (and sharing your gifts) goes a long way in feeling that we are contributing to society. Your son is of service right now . It will increase his self esteem and his sense of belonging with society. When we share our gifts, good things come back to us. I think its important to be hopeful even if it's uncomfortable. We grow by becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable. Compassion which is the remedy for shame consists of encouragement and understanding. Encouragement requires some hope, I believe . Your son is stretching his growing muscles right now, and encouragement can also mean that I stretch mine along with my young adults. I get the need to shut down. To view things on opposite ends of a spectrum rather than looking in the middle of it . One day at a time is good. Accepting that which is happening in the present moment. And staying present with ourselves in the now. Rather than shutting down stretching towards accepting feelings without a need to change or fix them. Breathing into the present and observing my thoughts, feelings and my ways of wanting to abandon myself with coping mechanisms without judgement. And then not acting on the coping mechanisms. When I am able to stay in the moment with myself , I see that I can tolerate my feelings. Meditation practice has helped me a great deal with this , accessing the stillness inside of me. Over time I have become more easily able to let the feelings melt into the expansiveness of the stillness. It's a turning over to my Higher Power process within me I hope you give yourself a big pat on the back. You acted bravely and with courage, you tolerated fear and anxiety, you moved forward with courage. These are all role modeling to your son how to deal with life . I will pray for you and your son. Sending love! [/QUOTE]
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