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A little bit of hope.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 752789" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Yes. But mostly at my strong suggestion, he complied, but not because he wanted to. He has been in different residential programs too where NA attendance was a requirement. It never took, as far as I know. But he knows that it is there.</p><p>This is so complicated. Is not giving up a weakness or a strength?</p><p></p><p>M came over this morning. Both of us are wiped. M more than me, I think. We feel exhausted and helpless and concerned. Nothing we do is the right thing. Bits and pieces, yes. M feels that my son is getting better, slowly, despite this. But in the progression upwards we keep reaching a stair that breaks and we are all sent careening back down the staircase.</p><p></p><p>I recognize through and through that the solutions if there would be any come from my son. I see that the staircase is rickety because I can't compel him to do anything. I recognize that the only power he allows me, is to say no. No house. No money. No support. And when I do, a difficult situation becomes horrible.</p><p></p><p>My son's problem solving and functioning capacity is limited. So is mine. What a mess.</p><p></p><p>I guess there is just the need to nurse our wounds and see what happens next. I do not feel that M or I have given up, even though there is nothing we can do. I think each of us open for something to happen. But we've reached the limit of our intelligence and capacity and resources.</p><p></p><p>I feel certain my son will call me. He will likely not have money for food. He will promise anything and everything. That is how this works. Except I am choosing to see this month as a success. Instead of "nothing worked" and it all blew up right away, I will choose to see that the reality as this: the truth was revealed, without illusion or pretense. It is so much better to deal with the truth and be crashed down at the bottom of the cliff, but intact, then flying high with self-deception.</p><p></p><p>My son does know that we love him.</p><p></p><p>I am not without hope. Because the hope is in me.</p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 752789, member: 18958"] Yes. But mostly at my strong suggestion, he complied, but not because he wanted to. He has been in different residential programs too where NA attendance was a requirement. It never took, as far as I know. But he knows that it is there. This is so complicated. Is not giving up a weakness or a strength? M came over this morning. Both of us are wiped. M more than me, I think. We feel exhausted and helpless and concerned. Nothing we do is the right thing. Bits and pieces, yes. M feels that my son is getting better, slowly, despite this. But in the progression upwards we keep reaching a stair that breaks and we are all sent careening back down the staircase. I recognize through and through that the solutions if there would be any come from my son. I see that the staircase is rickety because I can't compel him to do anything. I recognize that the only power he allows me, is to say no. No house. No money. No support. And when I do, a difficult situation becomes horrible. My son's problem solving and functioning capacity is limited. So is mine. What a mess. I guess there is just the need to nurse our wounds and see what happens next. I do not feel that M or I have given up, even though there is nothing we can do. I think each of us open for something to happen. But we've reached the limit of our intelligence and capacity and resources. I feel certain my son will call me. He will likely not have money for food. He will promise anything and everything. That is how this works. Except I am choosing to see this month as a success. Instead of "nothing worked" and it all blew up right away, I will choose to see that the reality as this: the truth was revealed, without illusion or pretense. It is so much better to deal with the truth and be crashed down at the bottom of the cliff, but intact, then flying high with self-deception. My son does know that we love him. I am not without hope. Because the hope is in me. Thank you. [/QUOTE]
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