Hello. I'm new. I have been all over the net looking and reading. I have read numerous books, I have even spoken to several residential treatment facilities..I just feel so frustrated and so lost. My difficult child is 14, soon to be 15 and is my oldest of 3. She was diagnosed with ADHD when she was 10. The ODD symptoms surfaced slowly at first, now they are getting worse and worse. She failed 8th grade and had to do Summer school. She is failing 9th grade now. Her GPA is practically nonexistent. She refuses to do homework, or pretty much anything else that my husband, me, or her teachers ask her to do. She has no issues with learning, she is very intelligent, just doesn't care. Chores have been just that---a chore--to get her to do. She talks to me and my husband like we are trash. She called her Algebra teacher a d*ck a few weeks ago and stormed out of class. I just don't know what to do with her. She pushes my buttons on purpose. My other 2 children who are 8 and 2 see this type of thing daily. The tension in my house is ridiculous. I work full time and so does my husband, we leave work and come home to defiance, mouthiness, and nastiness every day. It makes you want to keep driving past the house, and right on and on and never look back. I love my difficult child, and all of my children but I'm just at a loss...I feel inadequate, exhausted, stressed, angry...I could go on and on. My 8 year old son is a difficult child as well; however he is a very different child. He's on ADHD medication and it seems to work beautifully for him. My oldest is a different story. Every medication that she has been on she has for one, refused to take, and when I make her, she just pockets it and hides it in her room. It's like a power trip for her. We've been back and forth to different therapists...most of the time I stop going because my daughter is so manipulative I find myself sitting in the office having to defend my parenting to these people. You think they would know since she has ODD how she works...but it always ends up the same. She whines about how mean I am, and I explain what happened and then after a while I end up not taking her because it is doing absolutely no good. It seems like just a forum for her to complain what horrible parents she has. We've tried taking things away, grounding, etc. Consequences don't work for someone who doesn't care about rules or respect. She's more than happy to sit in the house and not go anywhere. Here she can drive us crazy. I feel like the rest of the family is actually being punished instead of her. I just feel horrible...I love her with all of my heart. I'm heart sick. I miss my girl. I want my happy back.