A little on edge

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Jun 18, 2013.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    So I heard today that they have found a bed for my difficult child in a residential tx place.... I know nothing about the place at this point. They are getting him there tomorrow and want me to bring him some clothes at court.... problem is I dont know what time he will be getting to court, and his girlfriend has all his clothes and I cant get in touch with her. I have a work committment in the morning which I do not want to miss... the rest of the day is more flexible.
    For some reason the uncertainty of the details is getting to me. I dont know why that is?

    I was telling my husband today that I hope my son doesnt blow it and I should remind him not to steal!!! What am I saying? I need to just keep my mouth shut, do I really think my reminding him of anything will make any difference at all? This really is out of my hands, if he blows it and steals then he will do time. Pure and simple and he will still be safe. I need to really detach with love and let go of the outcome.

    All I can do is let him know I love him.

    But it is anxiety provoking.

  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi TL. I'm sorry you are so worried and life is so stressful for you right now. I do think you just have to let go and let God at this point. You know that reminding him not to steal will do nothing in reality. I'm sure after you wrote that you realized how crazy that is thinking you had any control at all over what he does. But you are still in protection mode. I am worried about you, I don't want you to make yourself sick with all this constant stress.

    Hugs my friend.
  3. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    TL, We are mothers. They are our babies all of their lives. I think it is natural to have those " I need to tell them...or they won't know moments." You caught yourself before you did it. It is perfectly understandable to feel anxious about his situation. I have no doubt that when you see him or talk to him, you will be cool calm and collected.
  4. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    No words of wisdom here - but I send you warm words of support and hugs
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I understand. Hugs DDD
  6. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Thank you fro all your thoughts.... I did not see him at court today. I had a work committment that I really did not feel I could or should break and so I didn't. He called me during it (and I did answer) and he was being released to the program. He sounded good, asked me where the town was where the program is... and it is in the nearest big city near us....and so he was relieved it was not too far away (less than an hour). So when he can have visits we (and his girlfriend) can easily visit. It is not in a great neighborhood but that is what he gets now.

    His girlfriend brought his clothes to court so he had those.... I need to see if I can get his stuff from the prison because he was taken to court today and did not know he was being transferred. So ok I can do that.

    So I am starting to relax... it really is out of my hands. He may blow it and if he does he will do prison time... most likely in the prison 3 miles from us. So I feel like for the next year he will be in a structured environment one way or anothr and that is a relief. It feels good to know that if he calls and complains, I can listen, be sympathetic and then say it is out of my hands, there is nothing I can do and there isn't. I do hope he can get some mental health treatment... from the internet it does look like its real focus is substance abuse and I know he needs both. But he may have to ask for that....

    So I am doing better tonight.

  7. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    arghhhhh....got a text msg from girlfriend that difficult child called her and told her he was leaving and she didn't know what to do and was going to bed! I texted her back that there was nothing she could do! Hopefully she did go to bed and did not go pick him up!

    i am ok...it really is out of my hands...he did not call me and there is nothing I can do either, I realized if he did leave they will call probation and I suspect then probation would call me!

    i also suspect he is playing the girlfriend in the hope she will go get him.

    Not sure what phone he used to call her.

  8. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    {{{ hugs }}}

    Waiting is the hardest part.