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A living nightmear!
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 710337" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think it is a borderline case. And she does not know where they are!! I could argue that calling CPS would have no upside right now without a specific location.</p><p></p><p>I feel convinced that the mother will resurface.</p><p></p><p>Of course she wants R E S P E C T and will use the kids to get it, but it also seems she has few personal resources and wants others to share her burden too. </p><p></p><p>The best strategy you have at this point is passivity and the appearance of indifference. Kind of like an animal plays dead. Think about it: if you keep twisting and moaning, you empower her. If you retreat she will start looking for you. She will get nervous. Believe me. She needs you more than you need her. Let her start feeling she has lost YOU.</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile, agony does not help you. Agony does nothing to improve the present or the future. Agony is SO nowhere. Do anything to move out of this space.</p><p></p><p>I absolutely promise you she will be in touch. I absolutely promise you that you have not lost these kids.</p><p></p><p>This is not the kind of woman who will do it alone, can deal with responsibility or has a direction. Her latest love interest could care less. He will cut her loose. It is a matter of time.</p><p></p><p>To think about why she does what she does, is to give away your power. She does in the moment what feels good or fun or exciting, or offers short-term benefit, no questions asked. She may even be seeking power in relation to you.</p><p></p><p>That is why I think your best shot is to seem indifferent. Do not feed her power habit.</p><p>That is what I think.</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile, keep posting. I will be traveling after next week, but I will try as I able to look for your posts. Do not think I have forgotten about you. I have not.</p><p></p><p>Take care. You are a loving grandmother. I am so happy for those kids that they have you. I really, really get the pain. My mother went through this with my sister's kids.</p><p></p><p>Take heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 710337, member: 18958"] I think it is a borderline case. And she does not know where they are!! I could argue that calling CPS would have no upside right now without a specific location. I feel convinced that the mother will resurface. Of course she wants R E S P E C T and will use the kids to get it, but it also seems she has few personal resources and wants others to share her burden too. The best strategy you have at this point is passivity and the appearance of indifference. Kind of like an animal plays dead. Think about it: if you keep twisting and moaning, you empower her. If you retreat she will start looking for you. She will get nervous. Believe me. She needs you more than you need her. Let her start feeling she has lost YOU. Meanwhile, agony does not help you. Agony does nothing to improve the present or the future. Agony is SO nowhere. Do anything to move out of this space. I absolutely promise you she will be in touch. I absolutely promise you that you have not lost these kids. This is not the kind of woman who will do it alone, can deal with responsibility or has a direction. Her latest love interest could care less. He will cut her loose. It is a matter of time. To think about why she does what she does, is to give away your power. She does in the moment what feels good or fun or exciting, or offers short-term benefit, no questions asked. She may even be seeking power in relation to you. That is why I think your best shot is to seem indifferent. Do not feed her power habit. That is what I think. Meanwhile, keep posting. I will be traveling after next week, but I will try as I able to look for your posts. Do not think I have forgotten about you. I have not. Take care. You are a loving grandmother. I am so happy for those kids that they have you. I really, really get the pain. My mother went through this with my sister's kids. Take heart. [/QUOTE]
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