a lot of effort for very little results.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Ktllc, Dec 5, 2012.

  1. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    So much has happened as far as trying to get support for V, I'm not sure where to start.
    I can' remember how much or how little I have shared, but since school started and since the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified diagnosis, I have tried to get help from the school.
    It has been a whole waiting game, people are all very friendly and smilly but nothing gets done unless I or the K-teacher puts a foot down.
    It took over 2 weeks for the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) specialist to come to V's class and observe. Now, she says she does not need to be there for the 504 meeting we have been trying to schedule for almost 2 months... I replied that I need her at the meeting and we svheduled for next week so she can make it. Will she show... I don't know. Guidance Counselor has yet to tell me who will attend the meeting.
    The whole thing is ridiculous. They refuse to provide Speech since Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) is not recognized in NC... The k-teacher is furious about it! She tells me V really needs the services.
    Right now, I have Sweet Pea's daycare staff take V out of school 2x a week for private speech. I told the school that I will not ignore my son's issue and I will make sure he gets the help he deserves no matter what.
    Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) said that V indeed has significant issues related to Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) and she is trying to follow a plan that suits V. V shuts down when it's hard, so she has to be very encouraging and give him lots of opportunity for success. She was surprised that V still does not know all of his letters. Which I know is an issue.
    I have called an advocacy center and their opinion: forget the 504 plan (which is not in place yet anyway) and demand an IEP. They say that I have an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) report from the BEST source and the school cannot ignore it and does not even need to do further testing. According to the advocacy center, the school sure cannot pretend to be able to collect more info than this university program.
    According to them, I need to write a letter and change the topic of next Monday's meeting... I have e-mailed the k-teacher (since she is 200%) on my side and want to have her opinion. I'll see her this friday after school.
    The k-teacher was able to obtain a FM system and she is getting V used to it. Slow and easy is her approach. A bit to early to tell if it helps. But again, administration was claiming at first that there was no FM system in the county, therefor V had to do without it.
    The whole thing is making me sick. Today, Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) who also treat Sweet Pea told me that this morning V was late for his session. the school could not find V, it took them 20 minutes to finally find him and give him to the daycare staff member!! How ridiculous. I had writen a letter stating when V had to be ready for pick up. They know but obviously could care less. What other explanation? Sure the k-teacher was abscent today, but it still should not prevent timely pick up when both classroom and administration are aware of the schedule.
    I've just read V's mid-term report and it is so-so. He needs improvement in both "writes simple stories" and "reads or begins to read". The comments were: needs to work on decoding 3 letter words, control pencil when he slows down and tries, V has on and off days. Most days he is a really hard worker. Impressed with how many letters and sounds he knows.
    K-teacher is always encouraging and keeps the child's challenges in mind when she gages the child's work. Even though she is nice in her comments, it would seem that V is not quite where he should be academically.
    Should I proceed with 504 meeting as scheduled and change it to an IEP later on (maybe in January) or should I listen to the advocacy center and go for a fight now. Keep in mind that the center does not personnally know the case, all they really know is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified diagnosis and difficulties at school.
    It is really stressing me. I'm not even afraid of fighting (I would not hesitate a second if it were work related) but it's hard to make a decision when I feel so much in the dark.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    JMO... but I'd be ramping up immediately to IEP.
    V is going to need all the legal teeth you can get, for some time to come.
    And the school is going to *****-foot around until you bring that "toothy legal document" stuff into play (IEP)
    Lots of schools try to play dumb... but they KNOW that an IEP is something they cannot ignore.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I would do three things. In fact, I did do them after Sonic had his Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified diagnosis.

    1/Forget the 504. It won't be enough and can't really be enforced. I'd ask for an IEP, doing it the proper way.

    2/I'd call my STATE department of public education. Speech problems are a part of autism and it is insane that your son can't get services when he clearly has trouble with speech. Only your dept. of public education can help you with this school district. Also, if they don't have services in their county they are mandated to send your son, at their expense and transportation costs, to a county that does have those services.

    3/Find out who your free parent advocate is and sit down and get her on board with you and bring her to all of your meetings. Don't go alone. You are dealing with a stubborn school district and you will have to go over their heads to get anything done. been there done that. And, yes, we got everything we asked for. It was stressful, but it really helped our son. You need to put your armor on. When they are not cooperating, even when they smile, you have no choice but to fight for what your son deserves and needs. Your state Dept. of Public Education would know the name of your free parent advocate.

    When you call the Dept. of Public Education, which is probably located in your capital, ask for the person in charge of students with special needs and tell her your story.
  4. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    I'm afraid I might indeed have to go higher... It is such a small community here, and I suppose I still have hope that things are finally going to click.
    The principal had been on maternity leave (she is the daughter in-law of our neighbors! The neighbor also works for us part time! that's how small it is here) but I have e-mailed her the whole story when I had to get some straight answers and make some decision on therapies. Se said it was "shoking news". So I'm kind of hoping than everyone will shape up since she came back this last Monday.
    I found out a few minutes ago that the "Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) expert" in our district will be at the meeting. So I suppose they do take my request seriously, just try to avoid doing thir work unless clearly told that they have to.
    Do you think it would be bad strategy to say "let's proceed with 504 like planned, but let me teel you right now. if by mid January I feel that my child's needs are not completely met, I will request a reconsideration for an IEP". I really wish to stay diplomatic for my family's sake. We are probably not moving anytime soon, homeschooling would be impossible with work (we are expending and so is my work load) and Sweet Pea might need services next year through the school district when she turns 3.
    This way I don't throw a monkey wrench in their planning but still give a clear deadline after which I'll get real serious if I have to?
    I have kept good records of all the e-mails and phone conversation (usually send an e-mail summarizing the conversation).
    I know they like to mention that V is still young and after Xmas break, kids tend to come back more mature. I doubt we'll have a Xmas miracle curring his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) though... But at least it shows that I value their opinion, if it matters at all...
    MWM, I will not go alone. V's Occupational Therapist (OT) will be there with me! :) She knows V very well, she is very knowledgeable in Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and V's specific challenges related to Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). She also knows that V can appear better functioning than he actually is.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I know it is trickier in a smaller community but...you can do it. You can't come accross as a PIA demanding action (oh, how I wished I could do that some years back) but keep your eye on the goal. Likely you'll have cramps in y our cheeks from smiling and cramps in your brain from choosing each word so carefully...but...the goal is the goal. You can do it!
    Hugs DDD

    PS: From my experience you need to have split personalities. One for the goal. The other for socializing and running into people on the street and in the grocery store where you give no indication of the educational efforts going on.
  6. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    LOL, DDD. You gave me a good laugh because it is SO true.
    Those same neighbors just found out through husband that V has Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and that I was in close communication with their daughter-in-law about it! It's like it went full circle and they were clueless about the storm in the making. I had never said anything to them trying to keep both worlds seperate but it was only a matter of time.
    Funny things, they said that the diagnosis actually explained a lot of their questions. I suppose they were pretty thoughtful in the way they said it to husband, but they weren't surprise by the "revelation".
    If my neighbors see it, I imagine it will be harder and harder for the school to ignore it (although k-teacher is NOT ignoring anything and she is obviously a huge part of the school equation).
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Ahhh the Christmas miracle ....I hadn't heard of that one. I snorted an embarrassing laugh when I read that. Good thing I'm alone!
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Some schools WANT you to pursue the IEP, if they know it's going to go that way anyway... in which case, doing the 504 now AND starting the IEP process soon (perhaps after the holidays) might in fact be a workable solution.