Hi there, warrior women... I married rather late in life, after being jilted at the altar several years before. To be honest, I married because my biological clock was ticking. I always dreamed of being a Mother and having kids. 15 months after I was married, I had a baby girl. I had picked out her name when I was 14. She was my dream come true. I cherished her and was awed by her. She was bright and creative. Could not wait to know what she thought (boy...what a mistake!). As she grew, I discovered she was a gifted artist, tender-hearted (especially towards animals), danced to the beat of a different drummer, but that just made her even more intriguing. I supported what she enjoyed (Art, Band, Drama); did weekly "girls nights" with her all her life, did crazy beach drives and midnight runs for chocolate when she was PMSing. There was nothing we could not talk about and we were the best of friends. When she was 11, the long awaited and much wanted baby brother came. She LOVED him, and enjoyed being a big sister. He had autism and did not reciprocate her affections for a while. She would weep. Even though he was a difficult baby, and even more challenging toddler, our relationship remained tight. I made sure she felt important and mindfully did not allow the needs of my son outweigh the needs of my daughter. When she was a Junior in High School she started becoming depressed. I figured out it was her ADHD medications. I decided I'd rather have an alive "C" student than bury a dead "A" student. She stopped her medications and became the joyful girl she had always been (and somehow managed to graduate!) In March of 2006 my Mom passed away. In May of 2006 my oldest brother passed away. In October 2006 my Dad passed away. It was a tough year, and my antennae were not receiving signals that my daughter was into some trouble. The once very trustworthy girl began lying to cover her drinking. My very careful parenting began slipping because, after all, she was a senior and a "good girl" and dealing with so much grief of my own, I totally missed her detour. By the time she was 18, she was stealing our RX medications; having emotional explosions, drinking heavily, and involved in an online relationship with a much older guy. He decided to move here (they had only met once) and she moved in with him. He was an atheist, and she declared she was too. So there was more distancing. He was actually pretty good for her in other ways, and we treated him like a son. He respected us. She calmed down some (I thought) although I found out that there was more going on than I knew (risky sexual behavior involving others). After a while there was a huge blow up and she left him and moved in with a married couple. The guy left then my daughter and the girl became a couple. My daughter's girlfriend hates me. And once again, my daughter had adopted the thinking of the person she is living with. The girlfriend has, almost like a cult leader, forbidden my daughter to have contact with us. Encouraged her to change her name, posted slanderous and defaming thing on Facebook along with threats against my life. She has ripped up and returned presents we have sent our daughter, does not allow our daughter to pick her own college classes, her medical care ore even read my Facebook page (the girl has to filter any information she deems is appropriate for my daughter to read) I think it is the ultimate of rejection to be rejected by your own child. The last time I saw my daughter was December 2013. I ache for her. A piece of my heart is missing. How can this beautiful baby I longed for, held in my arms, nursed at my breast...this child who is part of me...the girl who I would lay my life down to save...how can she just walk away? This Mother's Day there was a tiny crack in the wall...a text. Very short...but she wished me a Happy Mother's Day and actually called me "Mom" (the few emails that have been exchanged I was referred to by my first name, not Mom). But she initiated contact. I pray that I will hold her in my arms again.