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A mother's pain..enough is enough
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 723553" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcom Carp, I have been away from the forum for over a week and am now just getting caught up.</p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I truly can relate.</p><p></p><p></p><p>This sounds just like something my son would say. My son has been in jail numerous times, currently doing a 2 year sentence. He is always quick to complain about how horrible it is and how no one likes him, etc.... I have expressed to him many times, if you don't like jail then don't behave in a way that will get you arrested. </p><p>I have no doubt that getting arrested would cause great anxiety but to claim PTSD is a stretch. </p><p>Our difficult adult children want to live an adult life but as soon as they have to deal with "real adult" issues they quickly revert back to a child like state and are unable to cope. They want all the fun without any of the responsibility.</p><p></p><p></p><p>This is very typical of a difficult adult child. They do not want to take an responsibility for their poor choices so they lash out and blame others. Moms and Dads are always prime targets. </p><p>The best thing you can do is develop some thick skin. If you know in your heart you did the best you could to raise your son then you know him blaming you is nonsense. </p><p>We as parents have zero control over our adult children. If we did have some kind of control over them we wouldn't need a site like this. </p><p>Detaching from their chaos and drama is key to taking our own lives back. It's possible to do this and move on with your life, to live a happy life. I and many others here are proof that it can be done.</p><p></p><p></p><p>My son has had several "geographic" changes and each time he would profess, "this time will be different".</p><p>It's never different. Until my son, your son and all the other difficult adult children realize they are the ones that need to change and put forth serious effort to do so, nothing for them will get better no matter how many times they move and start over. Several years ago after my son got out of jail, I flew out to get him and move him to the town my husband and I relocated to. Several states away. My son didn't know anyone here. It was a matter of days before he was able to find people who he could get drugs from.</p><p></p><p>If you haven't done so already please read the article on detachment. Print it out and keep it close.</p><p>Here's the link to it.</p><p><a href="https://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/" target="_blank">Article on Detachment</a></p><p></p><p>I'm glad you are here with us. You will find much needed support within these pages and years of tried and true honest help.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 723553, member: 18516"] Welcom Carp, I have been away from the forum for over a week and am now just getting caught up. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I truly can relate. This sounds just like something my son would say. My son has been in jail numerous times, currently doing a 2 year sentence. He is always quick to complain about how horrible it is and how no one likes him, etc.... I have expressed to him many times, if you don't like jail then don't behave in a way that will get you arrested. I have no doubt that getting arrested would cause great anxiety but to claim PTSD is a stretch. Our difficult adult children want to live an adult life but as soon as they have to deal with "real adult" issues they quickly revert back to a child like state and are unable to cope. They want all the fun without any of the responsibility. This is very typical of a difficult adult child. They do not want to take an responsibility for their poor choices so they lash out and blame others. Moms and Dads are always prime targets. The best thing you can do is develop some thick skin. If you know in your heart you did the best you could to raise your son then you know him blaming you is nonsense. We as parents have zero control over our adult children. If we did have some kind of control over them we wouldn't need a site like this. Detaching from their chaos and drama is key to taking our own lives back. It's possible to do this and move on with your life, to live a happy life. I and many others here are proof that it can be done. My son has had several "geographic" changes and each time he would profess, "this time will be different". It's never different. Until my son, your son and all the other difficult adult children realize they are the ones that need to change and put forth serious effort to do so, nothing for them will get better no matter how many times they move and start over. Several years ago after my son got out of jail, I flew out to get him and move him to the town my husband and I relocated to. Several states away. My son didn't know anyone here. It was a matter of days before he was able to find people who he could get drugs from. If you haven't done so already please read the article on detachment. Print it out and keep it close. Here's the link to it. [URL="https://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/"]Article on Detachment[/URL] I'm glad you are here with us. You will find much needed support within these pages and years of tried and true honest help. ((HUGS)) [/QUOTE]
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