A new baby in the home

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Pink Elephant, Jul 9, 2018.

  1. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    What memories do you have related to bringing baby home?

    The long days?

    The tiring, sleepless nights?

    The endless crying and fussing?

    The endless cycle of bottles, burping, and diapers?

    How about escaping for short periods of time? Did you have an outlet that allowed you to free yourself from motherhood for a few hours each week? A chance for you to forget about caring for baby and instead, care for you?

    Did you have family/friends that pitched-in and helped when needed? i.e. Babysitting, etc?

    Anyone else have a playpen at their disposal to keep baby close when doing things in and around the house? i.e. Like when baking or spending time in the kitchen?

    How about taking baby out for walks in the stroller?

    Anyone else utilize a bassinette to keep baby close-by them through the night, for the first little while after baby was born?

    Where did you generally feed baby? Kitchen? other?

    Where did you change diapers?

    Did you have a changing table?

    When bathing baby, did you use the kitchen sink, or did you have one of those old-fashioned little plastic baby baths?

    Did baby use a crib fulltime?

    How about baby basics, do you remember the layette you started baby out with?

    What brand of disposable diapers did you use?

    How did you keep baby dressed most of the time while inside?

    When changing baby's crib, did you use a rubber sheet to protect the mattress?

    How did you treat diaper rash?

    Did you use a night-light in baby's room?
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I remember Bart crying. I would put him in bed with us and he would feed or stop crying. He was an easy baby. Ask me about the rest of his years hahaha.

    Princess came to us from Korea. She liked to sleep on the floor with me. Suspect she did that in Korea! Not a big crier, snuggly, sweet. Slept with us. Didnt get up much at night .

    Jumper best behaved baby ever. Alert, didnt hardly ever cry, slept in a crib. Didnt wake up much at night.

    Goneboy was six when he came. Sonic was two. SOnic slept in a toddler bed...when he slept!!

    No playpens for us. We kid proofed our home and let them explore. Lots of stroller rides, walks and visits to the lake to feed the ducks. My part time jobs were always a nice relief. Hubs watched the kids. First hub called me so often at my evening job at a hospital...for every little thing....so that I asked my co-worker to please tell him I was with a patient when he called! He couldnt make one decision, like could Bart play with the boy across the street!! Grrrrr. My job was very busy and I couldnt keep dropping everything to make minor parenting decisions for him.

    When I went out with my friends, our kids came with. I had no reliable sitter and my mom told me she would NEVER EVER babysit for me. She meant it. Right after Bart was born I started bleeding on the inside had a temp of 104, and the doctor told me to rush my butt right to the hospital. He said it was urgent. My hub called my mom in a panic, but she said",I told you I will NEVER babysit!" ,(You cant make this stuff up and I didnt!)

    My mother in law had to come watch Bart.Trust me, my mother in law was an angel and never said a bad word about anyone, including my mother. But until we divorced, she would bring it up every now and then. She couldnt believe my mother refused to babysit when I was SO sick. But that was my disordered mother. That was the closest I ever saw Grandma Grace come to criticizing somebody. She was truly shocked. And I know she thought my mother was not a nice lady.

    In all I loved those baby days, did t take many breaks and my husbands both helped, my current husband being far superior to my first one. The housework came way second to my kiddos.!!
     
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    Last edited: Jul 9, 2018
  3. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Well, I only ever had the one, so I’m really posting this just because I’m tired and don’t want to concentrate on my work.

    The first 6 months I was also in a very unhappy marriage, but he did at least change diapers and such. What he wouldn’t do was hold a job. I remember him holding my son and saying, “Your daddy is a failure.” I told him he wasn’t, because you have to try in order to fail, and he never really tried. Yeah, I knew that marriage wasn’t going to last at that point.

    My first real nice memory is a friend – who’s name I’ve actually forgotten – coming and saying, “You! Go take a long hot bath. I’m watching that baby!” It was the nicest thing anyone did for me those first two months. I remember getting up for middle of the night feeding, but falling asleep with him latched on and waking up in the morning reclined on the sofa with his soft little cheek on my breast, so peaceful and sweet…and having peed all over me. He was a good sleeper. After just a couple weeks he slept 6 hours straight at night. It was Mother’s day. :) I always said that was his gift to me.

    Anyway, I went back to work after 2 months so I had lots of time away from him. In fact, I worked 1 hour 15 minutes from home, and 45 minutes from my sitter. So my kid spent a lot of time in a car. I had to have a sitter, though the husband wouldn’t work, because he also wouldn’t stay with the baby…always “looking for work” – or whatever he’d call sitting in a bar all day. After my son was 4 months we moved close to work. Two months after that we were split, thank heavens.

    After ex – that’s like when my being a parent really happened. So much of those first 6 months I just don’t even recall, as I was dealing with the stress of ex. I remember little things. I remember a short term of non-stop crying and projectile vomit when his tummy hurt. I remember him having SUCH a temper! If he'd get too hot he'd clench his little fists and grit his toothless gums together and just scream! I didn't have AC in the car...so he got hot on the drives a lot! At home, I did have a bassinette when he was tiny that was in the bedroom. I always had a crib. He couldn’t co-sleep, because I had a water bed. I had a stroller, but we didn’t do “walks” really. I had a playpen too, mostly for when I needed him to be somewhat contained when I went to the bathroom or was cooking, etc. When he was a toddler I put the Xmas tree inside it!

    I fed him in his high chair in the kitchen or the dining room. I changed him wherever…couch, chair, crib usually. I had a baby bathtub, but when he could sit up I had a little chair thing that suctioned to the bottom of the tub and kept him upright. He pretty much lived in onesies and diapers, sleepers, and overalls. Really, he was usually a good baby…toddler, not so much. That’s when he started the tantrums and night terrors and everything else, right about age 2-3. but even then, he was usually a good little guy.
     
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  4. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    My first were twins—identical girls—and I remember how much the c-sections hurt. Not during, of course, but afterwards. And I remember dreaming of uninterrupted sleep for the first few weeks, especially with the twins.

    I always favored open-concept living areas in houses so that I would always have an eye on the kids. In one house, I had a big somewhat enclosed kitchen with a door frame on either end, and I had those “johnny jumpers” for the twins to jump in while I cooked. My other kids didn’t like to be in them. I had a playpen at first, but didn’t end up using it much. I don’t recall if I ever used it with my son, and I know I didn’t use one with my youngest.

    I remember the bottom three shelves of the bookshelf only had toys on it. Gone were the books and decorations of the pre-baby life.

    I had this beautiful basket-like bed/bassinet for my son. Kinda like a Moses on the River basket, but much cuter. I had so many compliments on it.

    I had a double and a triple stroller and a double jogger and one of those carts to hook onto the back of your bicycle and I would often go out walking, running, or biking with all three. My hubby (at the time) liked to bike, too, so we would all go together and take picnics and such.

    My mom was scared to take care of the twins alone, and wouldn’t even think about taking all three of them. I only recall her babysitting one time with the twins, and she had a bad experience. I moved out of state when my third was about six-eight months old, so she didn’t have any other chances.

    I nursed, so I didn’t use many bottles. Had a few, but didn’t care to pump, so didn’t use them much.

    I sent my older three to a Mother’s Day Out Program once per week, and did my errands and chores at that time.

    I was heavily involved with the local and nation mothers of multiples groups and they were my primary social outlets during the older three’s baby/preschool years. I eventually moved into the elementary school circles when my kids got into school, and homeschool groups when I homeschooled. It’s a truism that moms almost always dropped out of the multiples groups when the kids got into elementary school. I remember talking about how I wouldn’t do that when mine got older, but I did.

    Like Lil, I knew pretty much right away that that marriage was about over not too long after my youngest was born. Actually, it wasn’t going that great right before, but I really wanted a baby, so I decided to go ahead with that. The pregnancy time went great, and I thought maybe it would work out, but it didn’t take long after she was born to go right back down hill. It was worth it, though, to have my youngest.

    I might write more later, but I better post this before it gets lost.
     
  5. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    SOT. You were the inspiration for this started thread. Another post I was reading that you replied to, you mentioned that you would (if you could change things) adopt at the baby stage, so thus this conversation was born (pardon the pun). :)

    Great post, SOT!

    Love your entry, Lil!

    A real winner, Apple!

    Ladies, I'll touch on things you posted as I have a chance.

    One thing right off the hop... "Johnny Jumpers". In our neck of the woods they were called "Jolly Jumpers". Same thing, different name. Canada/US. Go figure.
     
  6. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    What memories do you have related to bringing baby home? So, so many.

    The long days? Oh, yes. Long days and sometimes even longer nights. Took me a while to bounce back from each pregnancy and start sleeping right and waking right once again.

    The tiring, sleepless nights? Absolutely, many sleepless and tiring nights. I remember the witching hour... in our house it was around 2 am each night. Someone would wake crying and need fed or changed.

    The endless crying and fussing? You know it. Day, night. Never did enjoy the early baby stage.

    The endless cycle of bottles, burping, and diapers? Yes, yes, and yes! LOL!

    How about escaping for short periods of time? Did you have an outlet that allowed you to free yourself from motherhood for a few hours each week? A chance for you to forget about caring for baby and instead, care for you? I used to escape when I could, often going to my moms for a visit, but dear husband didn't babysit, so leaving for only a short time in the evening was an event unto itself.

    Did you have family/friends that pitched-in and helped when needed? i.e. Babysitting, etc? I sure did, mostly family, which was a blessing.

    Anyone else have a playpen at their disposal to keep baby close when doing things in and around the house? i.e. Like when baking or spending time in the kitchen? Had a playpen and used it often in the beginning, and yes, often had it pushed into a corner in the kitchen so I could keep an eye on whoever and keep them content.

    How about taking baby out for walks in the stroller? All the time. To the park, around town, you name, we covered it, Spring till Fall. Good for mommy... good for baby.

    Anyone else utilize a bassinette to keep baby close-by them through the night, for the first little while after baby was born? Sure did, and for a number of weeks after each child's birth.

    Where did you generally feed baby? Kitchen? other? The kitchen was the place. Highchair and bibs always ready.

    Where did you change diapers? Mostly in the nursery/baby room (in the crib)... also changed pants in the bathroom and anywhere else that was convenient at the time.

    Did you have a changing table? Nope. Used those plain old-fashioned thin-padded vinyl changing pads.

    When bathing baby, did you use the kitchen sink, or did you have one of those old-fashioned little plastic baby baths? Used the kitchen sink a few times, but 99% of the time I relied on bathing in the old (passed-down) baby bath.

    Did baby use a crib fulltime? 100%, yes. Loved the crib.

    How about baby basics, do you remember the layette you started baby out with? I started out with a true baby basics list. Cloth diapers, pins, rubber pants, socks, t-shirts, sleepers, and pyjamas. In addition to, had nail-clippers, a hair brush, baby oil, powder, and ointment.

    What brand of disposable diapers did you use? Never used disposables.

    How did you keep baby dressed most of the time while inside? In diapers mostly. Unless it was during the winter months, my kids lived in didies.

    When changing baby's crib, did you use a rubber sheet to protect the mattress? Yuppers... 24/7/365.

    How did you treat diaper rash? Checking and changing often, letting said kid go for short periods without rubber pants, and using Vaseline and ointment.

    Did you use a night-light in baby's room? In the beginning, yes, but got surprisingly adept at doing all things related to baby in the dark as each new kid came along. Practice makes perfect.
     
  7. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Your hubby wouldn’t stay with his own baby so you could get away for a while? Not even for trips to the store or errands or a quick cup of coffee out?

    Did he keep the kids when they were toddlers or preschoolers? I recall you saying that he wouldn’t touch the diapers, so was that the reason he didn’t want to be alone with them?
     
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Pink....I bought generic diapers. Whatever was on sale. I still buy whatever things are on sale lol. I love sales!!

    Never had the need for a bassinette. Babies slept with us or we used a monitor to hear them in another room when they were toddlers. I like the Eastern way of bonding parenting with kids sleeping with parents and being carried on backs (although I admit I didnt carry on back lol) But I carried them and cuddled when they needed snd asked for it. And to this day, decades later, all the kids who came to me as babies are very close and affectionate, even Bart hugs a lot. My daughter used something else for parenting
    my grandbaby...forgot the name. ...but she never allowed her infant to cry in her crib at all. The baby was picked up at once. Her SO participated too. The baby could never lay in her crib and cry.

    Mom approves!! :)

    Now she is four and amazing.

    I didnt listen to any American baby experts and neither does she.

    Never used things like changing tables. Changed them on the rug with paper under the butt. Dressed them in diapers and shirt indoors unless cold then footsies. I thought babies looked so cute in footsies. ( Princess has since told me that she hated footsies...they made her feet sweat). I tried!!

    Both husbands I had not only changed diapers but fed and bathed the kids. If either hadnt, there would have been no kids, no marriage, nothing. They also helped with housework and the yard. If not for that I couldnt have ever gone out to get a break or worked part time and it would have been a dealbreaker for me. But both were happy to do these dirtier chores for their kids. The kids were their kids too. Second hub, love of my life, was involved in every aspect of Sonic and Jumpers lives. Still is. Every. It is partly why I love him so much but hardly the only reason.
     
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    Last edited: Jul 10, 2018
  9. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    I had a changing table for my first babies. I had it in the babies room and later, one in the bathroom when my son was born. I mainly remember this because my (then) hubby was changing him in thbathroom when I heard him calling me to come quickly. I ran in quickly, only to see my son laying on the table and peeing straight into the toilet which was to the side. It was a hilarious site.

    I don’t remember my kids getting diaper rash much, maybe a bit of redness a few times. Definitely no bumps or anything like that.

    I used Pampers for the first two or three months, then switched to using whatever I had a coupon for or found on sale after that.

    I prefer infants in onesies and sleepers and other “baby” clothes.

    I used a plastic baby tub inside the big tub. Was always afraid the baby would inadvertently turn on the hot water tap on the kitchen sink.

    What did your babies weigh at birth?

    My twins were 5’ 10oz and 5’ 13oz

    My son was 8’ 14oz

    My youngest was 9’ 9oz
     
  10. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Americans used to co-sleep with their babies until they bought into the reasoning that “experts” knew better than they did.
     
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Pink, about adopting at the baby stage. Sonic came at age two, bonded and is in my heart. Sealed with a kiss. I wouldnt have traded him for any infant.

    But usually older child adoptions result in disaster because the child can not bond with the parents. Many are too damaged to be in a family.

    It had norhing to do with loving babies. I did love babies, but I could love any child given to me as my own. Age, race, disability doesnt matter. The only reason I tell people not to adopt older kids is that the child usually does not bond with you well and the child, usually abused or neglected, can even be dangerous.

    It has nothing to do with just liking babies more. It is the outcome. The infant days fly by....I barely remember them. The days I remember the most are when the child could interact.
     
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  12. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Wow...so many memories come back in bits and pieces. It was not a good time in my life.

    I developed a bleeding ulcer when I was about five months pregnant, so I did not even try breastfeeding because of the medications I was taking. I got a bladder infection at nine months, and Miss KT's father refused to get out of bed and drive me to the hospital, so i drove myself about twenty miles, to the next town, at 3 am. I was working a 48+ hour week, on my feet (in retail), commuting over half an hour, and Miss KT was due Aug 6, right around her father's birthday. When we went out for dinner for his birthday, he told me that if I went into labor, he was finishing his dinner first.

    Miss KT was 11 days late, and I had an emergency C-section. Though her father was there, he was not much comfort or support. I got out of the hospital three days later, and he went straight back to work, so it was just me. My mom was a teacher, and it was the first week of school, so she wasn't available to help me, and my in-laws...were very unhappy that Miss KT's father and I were not married at the time I gave birth.

    Miss KT was colicky, and I wore her in a little carrier on my chest 24/7. Her pediatrician had no suggestions of things to try. My OB suggested a low iron formula. It worked. My C-section site got infected, and I had additional issues, and ended up staying home on maternity leave about 12 weeks instead of 8.

    Looking back, I had post-natal depression, but nobody noticed, myself included. It was not a happy time, I made more money than Miss KT's father so I knew I had to go back to work, work was pressuring me to come back, I wasn't getting a lot of help or cooperation, and we were 300 miles away from family.

    Not a lot of good in the experience.
     
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  13. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Sadly my first memories are not really happy ones. To start, I hit my due date which was also my ex's birthday. In the delivery room the nurse told my ex, "how wonderful to get a son for your birthday present" to which he replied, "ya, but I didn't get a birthday cake".

    Once I got home my son cried for 48 hours straight. I nursed him, held him, rocked him, nothing would soothe him. I remember my ex coming in not to relieve me but to say "can't you get him to shut up" Yup, he was some kind of special that one. :cautious:

    When my son was a week old my mom came and spent a week with us. Those are cherished memories. She gave me all kinds of wonderful advice. She helped with everything. It was hard when she had to go home.

    Once my son got settled in he was really a good baby. Hardly ever fussed and was a very happy, chubby little guy.
     
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  14. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Jeeze...makes my ex sound like father of the year. :frown: I too had the kid who cried nonstop when I brought him home (less than 24 hours after the birth - ex's insistence) but at least he finally grabbed a bottle of formula, slapped a nipple on it and stuck it in the child's mouth. 1 oz and he was OUT. He was just starving. I'd been nursing for hours - or trying to - but I just had nothing! I never did get any milk, try as I might for two full months. At least ex had been around babies enough to know how to take care of one and he did help. He just wouldn't hold a job, drink in any semblance of moderation, or stop having sex with other women. :rolleyes:
     
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  15. Wish

    Wish Active Member

    The hardest part for me with a newborn baby is the absolute exhaustion. No sleep. She didn't cry more than any normal newborn though. I didn't know one could even be so exhausted. Welcome to having newborn babies, lol.

    My breaks and escapes, were smoking ciggs and watching talk shows. Montel Williams, Jenny Jones, Ricky Lake, Maury. A few others that escape me. I know, I know, so Peggy Bundy right? But I promise, that was about as close to Peg as I got. Unkike Mrs. Bundy, I actually worked, went to school and cleaned my home (and cooked) lol. - But yeah, smoking ciggs (outside of course) and watching talk shows to death where my breaks, my escape, my me time. I was really into them back then lol. It was the closest thing to reality tv at the time, way before reality tv was even thought of. Well, you had MTV's the real world but that was 7 strangers who were picked to live in a house. They didn't have any reality tv shows were you could actually see into the lives of families.

    Ah, how I miss those days. I really miss those talk shows.

    Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
     
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  16. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Oh, for trashy relief, my choice was soap operas. General Hospital was all the rage and I worked in the evening and every we night workers discussed the perils of Luke and Laura all the time. And whispered about the cute men on the show. This talkfest included the interns. Yes, they watched it too.

    My son, who was my only child at the time, was a great napper. If I put him down at noon he would sleep until three so, while I did my other stuff, the soaps were on in the back ground until he woke up.
     
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  17. Wish

    Wish Active Member

    Oops forgot to answer some more questions:

    The first year I did not have anyone help me to watch her. That was really rough. But when she got to be 2 , 3 , 4 and older, yes I had help. My grandparents watched her. They loved/love her very much.

    and Yes, I had a playpen for her! It was pink, blue and light green. I will never forget. A playpen was an absolute neccessity. My sister in law never used play pens for her kids and it drove me nuts,I didn't understand it. lol. I refused to watch any of the kids without a play pen. Only because I was a worry wart and when I was doing things, I needed to know that my daughter and my niece and nephews were safe and yes, I did do it too for the much needed break sometimes.

    For walks, we had the most beautiful neighborhood to walk in. I took her for walks in her stroller very oftenly. To the playground (that same playground I spoke about when you asked about our first loves/boyfriends) and to the shopping center. We did that a lot.
     
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  18. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Oh i had a playpen. It was red with mesh to keep the kids in.

    I just didnt use it.
     
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  19. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    Quick trips to the store for cigarettes or milk or whatever, he did, but evening outings for me, no way. Oldest daughter actually used to babysit for me when our youngest was a baby, and that was often with dear hubby at home.

    Once the kids got older, 4's and beyond, no worries, but the baby/toddler stage, ugh-uh. Dear sister-in-law had to make an emergency trip to our house one evening while I was out to change a loaded diaper. I was furious. Disposable would not have helped. There was just no getting dear hubby to change a diaper... not a wet one... and not a dirty. Honestly, not even a clean one. I used to call-out to one of my kids to fetch mommy a clean diaper at change-time if I needed one, and they even took the wet or dirty one to the bathroom to put it in the pail for me.
     
  20. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    Yep, go generic - go. Definitely agree. There are savings to be had there.

    I love a little one in footsies (AKA sleepers), but always hated having to fuss over such one-piece outfits at change-time, so plain old diapers it was in our house. Same went for when my kids were outside playing... a pair of rubber pants with a double diaper under, and when the sun was beating-down, t-shirts. No changing table in our house, either. I changed my kids the same way I changed baby siblings and kids I used to babysit, in the crib.

    Envy both you and Apple, so much, for the hands-on support your hubbies provided you.

    I did selectively let my kids go on rare crying sprees every now and then while they were in their cribs, but most of all I always made sure they were tended to, however, whenever I'd administer a spanking, 9 times out of 10, I'd pack said kid down the hall and plop them down inside the crib to cry-it-out.