B
beachlife
Guest
I am so glad I found this site today during a search for advice and guidance on the Internet. I am in search of and in need of advice related to my daughter. She has awful outburst that are most of the time out of my control. Let's just say I have my hands full. I've tried everything possible and I am feel like I am going to lose my mind. I am a single mom and divorced my ex husband soon after my daughter was born. I'll list some background on my daughter, the extent of her evaluations and her diagnosis.
My daughter is eight years old and was diagnosed last year with ADHD, Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD). The road to diagnosis was not an easy one and this was due to the difficulty of finding healthcare professionals that didn't brush me off or think my daughter's issues were related to being spoiled. From a young age she was diagnosed with milk and soy allergies and was placed on a special formula. She had colic and her sensory issues were over the top. Giving a bath, washing up, tags, socks, brushing hair was all a nightmare. She had god awful temper tantrums that would last hours on end. Sometimes she would just tear up my home. I took her to doctor after doctor. I was told she is fine she just needs discipline or I was told she is just plain spoiled. I was told she had CD and was BiPolar (BP). From the outside my daughter appeared as normal as any other child. I think it baffled doctors that she was very verbal and bright and had NO issues outside the home. She was a complete angel in school and never had an issue with other children. Once she hit kindergarten the problems really started to get out of control and in 1st grade I was at my wits end. One day I was driving and she was having a melt down and threw a plastic drink bottle at my head. Thankfully I have an excellent job and healthcare benefits. I called my pediatrican and said enough is enough find me the best doctors psychiatrist and child psychologist and I don't care if I have to pay out of pocket.
Fast forward almost a year and the evaluation process was complete. Her psychiatrist had ordered brain scans and psychological and educational evaluations. Her child psychologist ordered evaluations from the Occupational Therapist (OT). Results:
1) Brain Scans normal - no seizures
2) Psychological/Educational Exams - ADHD and NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD). Her IQ tests showed a difference between the verbal and non verbal components to lead to a diagnosis of NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD). Due to my daughters difficulty during the IQ testing the doctor did not feel the scores were a true representation. She scored VERY high on the achievement scores very often in the superior range.
3) Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation revealed Sensory Integration Disorder (SID).
My daughter went through therapy with her child psychologist and Occupational Therapist (OT) and she is now completing 2nd grade. She was placed on medication almost a year ago for ADHD. Her school is WONDERFUL. She was placed with an awesome teacher that really embraced her areas of opportunity in math and she worked with an educational specialist. She really had a great year and I am SOOO proud of her. In addition she is back to her passion of dancing. She is taking four dance classes a week and LOVES them. It's great therapy for her especially for the Sensory Integration Disorder (SID).
Now for the problems. I have extreme difficulty discipling my daughter. She often becomes violent with me. She will hit me throw things at me at curse at me. Often because I ask her to do something she doesn't want to do. Like tonight I told her she needed to shower and OMG she let me have it. The worst part is I have no control over her. I've tried the bear hugs, the soothing voice etc. nothing works. Her behavior issues at HOME only rear their ugly head when I tell her no or its transition time and her routine ends. She can't let go of things. If I tell her no she goes on and on and on asking but why mommy but why mommy even though I give her an explanation. She can't turn if off. In terms of transition sHe is about to leave me for almost two months for her dad's. Last week I had to take her to an emergency visit to her psychiatrist since she came after me with a violence I have never seen. The psychiatrist said she is not in danger of hurting herself or anyone else. Her neurological impairment makes it difficult for her during transition times and difficult to control her frustration and anger. He placed her on another short term medicine to get her through the transition. The problem is she won't take it. This morning she cursed at me and just flat out refuses to take it. How do you force an eight year old to take medicine? How do you manage the outbursts and violence? How do you help yourself from getting so angry when you devote your life to a child you love and do everything in your power to help her and she curses you out and wants to hurt you? The worst part is each day I am told "your daughter is so sweet, so wonderful, so well behaved etc" and I can't enjoy that part of her. It is true that there are times when she is so wonderful and sweet and gentle and its a gift its peaceful. She is so very up and down. It is very hard to parent this way and I feel like an awful mom even writing this stuff. Does anyone have advice from experience on getting through this? I want to have fun in my home and I want it to be a happy place. Instead I feel like it is a constant battleground and tense. Help please....thanks!
My daughter is eight years old and was diagnosed last year with ADHD, Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD). The road to diagnosis was not an easy one and this was due to the difficulty of finding healthcare professionals that didn't brush me off or think my daughter's issues were related to being spoiled. From a young age she was diagnosed with milk and soy allergies and was placed on a special formula. She had colic and her sensory issues were over the top. Giving a bath, washing up, tags, socks, brushing hair was all a nightmare. She had god awful temper tantrums that would last hours on end. Sometimes she would just tear up my home. I took her to doctor after doctor. I was told she is fine she just needs discipline or I was told she is just plain spoiled. I was told she had CD and was BiPolar (BP). From the outside my daughter appeared as normal as any other child. I think it baffled doctors that she was very verbal and bright and had NO issues outside the home. She was a complete angel in school and never had an issue with other children. Once she hit kindergarten the problems really started to get out of control and in 1st grade I was at my wits end. One day I was driving and she was having a melt down and threw a plastic drink bottle at my head. Thankfully I have an excellent job and healthcare benefits. I called my pediatrican and said enough is enough find me the best doctors psychiatrist and child psychologist and I don't care if I have to pay out of pocket.
Fast forward almost a year and the evaluation process was complete. Her psychiatrist had ordered brain scans and psychological and educational evaluations. Her child psychologist ordered evaluations from the Occupational Therapist (OT). Results:
1) Brain Scans normal - no seizures
2) Psychological/Educational Exams - ADHD and NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD). Her IQ tests showed a difference between the verbal and non verbal components to lead to a diagnosis of NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD). Due to my daughters difficulty during the IQ testing the doctor did not feel the scores were a true representation. She scored VERY high on the achievement scores very often in the superior range.
3) Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation revealed Sensory Integration Disorder (SID).
My daughter went through therapy with her child psychologist and Occupational Therapist (OT) and she is now completing 2nd grade. She was placed on medication almost a year ago for ADHD. Her school is WONDERFUL. She was placed with an awesome teacher that really embraced her areas of opportunity in math and she worked with an educational specialist. She really had a great year and I am SOOO proud of her. In addition she is back to her passion of dancing. She is taking four dance classes a week and LOVES them. It's great therapy for her especially for the Sensory Integration Disorder (SID).
Now for the problems. I have extreme difficulty discipling my daughter. She often becomes violent with me. She will hit me throw things at me at curse at me. Often because I ask her to do something she doesn't want to do. Like tonight I told her she needed to shower and OMG she let me have it. The worst part is I have no control over her. I've tried the bear hugs, the soothing voice etc. nothing works. Her behavior issues at HOME only rear their ugly head when I tell her no or its transition time and her routine ends. She can't let go of things. If I tell her no she goes on and on and on asking but why mommy but why mommy even though I give her an explanation. She can't turn if off. In terms of transition sHe is about to leave me for almost two months for her dad's. Last week I had to take her to an emergency visit to her psychiatrist since she came after me with a violence I have never seen. The psychiatrist said she is not in danger of hurting herself or anyone else. Her neurological impairment makes it difficult for her during transition times and difficult to control her frustration and anger. He placed her on another short term medicine to get her through the transition. The problem is she won't take it. This morning she cursed at me and just flat out refuses to take it. How do you force an eight year old to take medicine? How do you manage the outbursts and violence? How do you help yourself from getting so angry when you devote your life to a child you love and do everything in your power to help her and she curses you out and wants to hurt you? The worst part is each day I am told "your daughter is so sweet, so wonderful, so well behaved etc" and I can't enjoy that part of her. It is true that there are times when she is so wonderful and sweet and gentle and its a gift its peaceful. She is so very up and down. It is very hard to parent this way and I feel like an awful mom even writing this stuff. Does anyone have advice from experience on getting through this? I want to have fun in my home and I want it to be a happy place. Instead I feel like it is a constant battleground and tense. Help please....thanks!