A new normal

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by BloodiedButUnbowed, Nov 26, 2017.

  1. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    Once again apologies for a long hiatus. By running an experiment, I recently learned that performing a Google search using a couple of easily identifiable search terms (such as the nicknames used for our DCs) results in all of our posts being displayed for the world to see. Unfortunately one does not need a username and password to this site to read whatever one wishes.

    Knowing this has made me reluctant to do anything more than respond to other people's posts.

    I hope that at some point we can lock this site down so only certain areas - which do not contain private information - can be viewed without a username and password.

    But I did want to update my story. YS is home from the hospital. He is making improvement in all areas day by day. He spends most of his time at his grandmother's and the balance with his father.

    We are grateful that he is finally home.

    The same family dynamics in place at the time of YS' attempt are still in play. Nothing has changed. As YS told one of his therapists during his hospitalization, "everybody hates everybody."

    YS wants little to do with us. He tolerates our company but there is no love, no desire to spend time. It is an obligation and I suspect as he progresses through psychiatric therapy, he will be honest about
    his wishes.

    We are waiting for his IEP team to complete their battery of evaluations and schedule his eligibility determination conference. We don't know what school will look like for him moving forward.

    As far as DS, we are getting the silent treatment from him once again. He has stopped responding to texts and blew off a Thanksgiving meal with us. YS came, and it was okay. We ate and watched a movie, and he napped. It was pleasant enough.

    I hope everyone's holiday season is going well. I am thinking of you all.
     
  2. MomOfGirls

    MomOfGirls New Member

    This is unfortunate what you have discovered with the Google search and disturbing for me as I recently laid out some very private details of my recent situation. :(

    Thank you for letting us know that.
     
  3. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    You can delete your posts. This is a Public forum. You need to be a member to post and reply.
    I keep my information as anonymous as possible.
    The way people find their way to this site is because it is public. That is also why we use pseudonyms.
     
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  4. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    Other sites similar to ours allow the general public to view certain sections of the site so they can determine if they wish to sign up, but they have to actually sign up in order to view the posts of other members.

    I would feel much better if we went to that kind of model.
     
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  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Send Cheryl a message and suggest it. She is very open to our suggestions.
     
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  6. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the update. You seem grounded and aware of the dynamics going forward. He knows you are there for him if he chooses to reach out. The rest is up to him.
     
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  7. HMBgal

    HMBgal Active Member

    Compared to your original posts right after this happened, his recovery is quite remarkable. I was hoping that the rest of the "players" in this family drama might have some insights and willingness to work hard and solve some of the issues. I'm so sorry that this isn't the case. Once the really life and death settles down, maybe? Who knows. It's always amazing to me how dug in people can be. In any case, I'm glad that the damage to the young man's brain wasn't worse than it was. My warmest and most hopeful thoughts to all.
     
  8. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    How does one delete posts?
     
  9. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Ask the Admin and they can do this for your.
     
  10. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Ok, I thought each person could delete their own past posts...

    Ksm
     
  11. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    No that I am aware of KSM.
     
  12. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Administrator Staff Member

  13. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    BBU,

    I am so sorry that your family situation is fraught with hate. Sending some super strong love vibes your way ~~~~~~~~~~~. That certainly is not who you are. I know how this feels. Lloyd's family was like this. I always felt so alone at holidays wanting them to be peaceful and enjoyable. Instead, they were the impetus for sniping, criticisms, competition and a whole lot of alcoholism. It was dreadful.
     
  14. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    BBU
    I echo Pigless. Sending you warm hugs and wishes for a calm and peaceful household.

    My Christmas was always spent calm and joyful in my own home. As my family is also a mess of chaos, animosity and addiction/alcoholism.

    Sadly I did everything in my power not to expose my son to this family chaos and yet here we are.

    Sending hugs and support to you for peace and joy.
     
  15. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    When I post I never use actual nicknames etc. Even if someone googled all sorts of things I can't imagine them associating things with me. I never mention my city and rarely if ever mention my state.

    When and where you have mentioned identifying things , you can ask Runnaway Bunny to remove or change them.

    As a side note we had one child go through a very difficult period in high school. Not a true Difficult Child but very close to it. He blamed us for everything, particularly me. He is fine now as an adult. Our Difficult Child is similar, only going through brief periods where she seems uncaring. She can still be periodically moody. Sometimes when they get into adulthood some behaviors improve. Fingers crossed.