A perfect example.

[Shari]

On my way home today, Two Broom's calls me. And she says "What is the name of that horse you rode in the parade?"

"That horse I rode" is my horse of 9 years. A very distinct black and white paint horse. She knows dang good and well it is my horse. I raised it from a foal. They came to see it when it was a tiny baby.

Two weeks ago, she asked "What's the horse that Wee is riding?" Uh...Wee's horse.

But it is husband's mule, and cgfg's horse.

In the scheme of things, this is absolutely so unimportant its not funny, but it is a prime example of how deeply the possession issue runs in this family. They refer to this farm I live on as husband's. And I'm sure "that horse" is husband's, also.

And I wonder why there's issues.

 

[susiestar]

Why did she need to know? Was she planning on selling it or something? I hope you just said, "Mine." What an odd question to call and ask you. I would be worried about her plans and let husband know that if ANYTHING happens to YOUR horse then it will be HIS hide, mule and tv that will pay for it. I don't trust TB not to have some deal in the works that will involve your horse. Stay strong.

 

[tawnya]

Shari,

My mother in law still refers to me as a "friend of the family" if that makes you feel any better. AND, I've never been anything but nice to her. I got over it a long time ago, and now I make a joke about it when I can.

It sure did hurt at first, though.

(HUGS)

 

[Shari]

I talked to a good friend tonight about this and she sees husband being a "mini me". Not from the calculating perspective that Two Brooms is, just from a learned behavior sort of way. Gives me a bit of hope.

I rarely inquire about her off the wall questions, but I did this one. She had taken pictures and was labeling them. I beleive it. Its what she does.

Tawnya, I'm sorry you're in the same boat. It hoovers. Badly. My ex-in-laws just introduce me as their daughter; my current in-laws will do their dangest to avoid having to admit I exist. The in-laws don't bug me so much...just right now husband seems to have adopted their attitude, and that has me pretty much up in arms at the moment.

 

[busywend]

Is husband aware? Does he recognize how they treat you?

 

[Shari]

I've pointed it out several times (including this particular one) and he has agreed they aren't the nicest to me.

Hopefully, he'll see some similarities soon. (when I point them out...)

 

[hearts and roses]

My children were once introduced as "The children of the woman my son lives with" - this, after 8 years of legal marriage! If that makes you feel any better...(she is their step-grandparent, not that it makes it any easier to hear).

When I first read your post, I thought she was asking the name of the horse. I didn't get the impression she was asking whose horse it was. You would know, of course, what she was getting at, however. Is there any chance she was just asking the horse's name?

 

[Shari]

Oh yeah, she was just asking the horse's name. She was labeling photos and wanted to put the horse's name on it.

But in asking, she made it clear that in her world, it is not MY horse. She referred to husband's and cgfg's mounts as their respective mounts. But mine was referred to as "the one I used that day".

I moved to where I live now in 1997. husband moved in 6 years later, in 2003. We married in 2005. But its his house, and his house only, even when she's talking directly to me. Nothing is mine.

 

[totoro]

At least she didn't ask what your name was!!! LOL
The caption would say- "Some Lady and 'horses name'"

 

[Shari]

At least she didn't ask what your name was!!! LOL
The caption would say- "Some Lady and 'horses name'"

And that would be very accurate.