a post from 2kidsmom618

[Sunlight]

I saw this tacked on the end of someone else's post:



2kidsmom618
1.Newbie


Registered: 09/19/07
Posts: 1 hi everyone, i am new and i have a quick question i have a 6 year old little girl that has been diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder but she only acts up at home, the school says that she is a perfect student, she never gets warnings, she is very polite and very well behaved for them. is there other children out there that have this diagnosis also and only act up at home?

 

[Nancy]

Yes my difficult child acted up only at home until about 4-5 grade. It progressively got worse until she was cutting school and getting involved in drinking and drugs. She is able to modify her behavior when she wants to so most adults think she is charming.

Nancy

 

[Serenity Now]

Hi,
I have the same problem with my 5 year old. She is so defient and sneaky at home, but at school she is an angel. My daughter was also diagnosed with ADHD but she again is fine at school. They want to start Aderall EX but I am not sure now if that is the right thing to do. Did they offer any medication for your daughter?

Usually with ODD they usually diagnose another disorder it usually goes hand in hand with something else. My daughter also has attachment disorder, which I am beginning to believe is what the real problem is. I know with attachment disorder and ODD sometimes they only act up at home. I know how frustrated you must feel because I am living it too. The teachers look at me like I am crazy when I tell them what she says and does at home. Good Luck.

 

[hearts and roses]

Welcome, 2kidsmom618~

Yes, my difficult child also was a perfect model student and house guest (at her friend's homes) for the most part up until about grade 6/7. There was one time in 3rd grade where she threw a full blown tantrum for the principal when I was dropping her off at school late one morning, but outside of that she was perfectly behaved. And it blew because there I'd be at PT meetings and discussing behaviors that none of the teachers or educators had ever seen!! I know they thought I was crazy. Eventually, her bahvior showed itself in the upper grades and progressively became worse from there. Then *I think* the teachers just couldn't wait for littlem miss trouble maker to leave.

 

[Lothlorien]

Sounds like my daughter. Have you had her evaluated and by whom?

 

[2kidsmom618]

my daughter was evaluated by her psychiatrist she is also diagnosed with Anxiety disorder and separation disorder
they have her on Atrax for her anxieties but say for the odd only thing for that is behavioral programs
I am so glad to hear that other children do this because i was really beginning to wonder if it was all me. there are times that i feel very inadequate as a mother, i also have an 18 year old son that was diagnosed with Ad/hd,anxiety disorder,social phobia.
it has been a ride with him he has been a good kid we had more problems with learning issues at school and the school not wanting to do the job that they are suppose to do but he graduated this year so that is done thank goodness, i don't see my daughter having the learning issues so far she is above average where education is concerned. it is just her behavior at home that is about ready to wear me down, i have started taking zoloft to help with my anxieties and for the most part it has helped but there are still days when my daughter has been on one of her cycling days of non stop defiance that even the zoloft doesn't seem to help. is there anything that anyone has found that really helps? Thanks for the support, i need it.

 

[Serenity Now]

Hi,
I too take zoloft for anxiety and also find that it doesn't always work when Sarah is having a bad day. I also occasionally take xanax to sleep at night when I am really anxious. That seems to really help and talking to my wonderful husband and my 11 year old son. You can't do this alone, you need a really good support group to help you.

I spoke with Sarah's Dev pediatrician. from CHOP today, he told me that just because she does not display these symtoms at school does not mean she is not ADHD/ODD/Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). He explained that in preschool they are having 2 1/2 hours of pure fun. The task that are asked of them are put in a fun way. They do playdough, paint, color, draw, dressup, go to the playground and basically jump around all day. So he is not surprised that Sarah can have a good day at school and come home frantic and ruin many weekends at home. He suggested that we start giving her Aderall EX on the weekends and if that works then he will give her a medicine for when she comes home from school that wears off in about 4 hours. I am soo releaved to find that she is not the only one to be able to pull a 360 at school. I thought it was me and I know what you mean about feeling like you are an inadequate mother. Do you know how many times I wanted to call Super Nanny?

As others have said as she gets older and more is demanded of her at school, then the teachers will finally realize what I go thru at home. He said this weeekend dosage should give us a good idea of how she will react and when the time comes it may be continued throughout the week also.

Hope this helps.

 

[Kathy813]

My difficult child was a model student all through school ~ even graduated from high school with honors.

She saved her difficult child behavior for us at home. She was defiant, sneaky, used drugs, and lied constantly. She only started her difficult child behavior in her teens, though.

To this day, teachers at my school who taught her (difficult child went to the same high school that I teach in) shake their head in disbelief when I share with them some of the things we went through with our difficult child.

So yes, it is possible for a difficult child to only show the ODD side at home. The good news is that now, at 22, she seems to be getting her life together. It also helps that she doesn't live at home anymore.

~Kathy