I have a lot of problems but problems you properly would have difficulties to understand. I am stationed in Denmark and have been here for a lot of years. My children are Danes, born and raised here all their life. Like most Danes they speak foreign languages very poorly. I would have liked them to speak English a little better but almost from their birth we had social workers in our home due to the illness of my wife. Because I am born outside Denmark it has been the caseworkers primary goal to make them good Danish citizens like their mother. That means ban against speaking any other language than Danish in your household according to the integration experts in our county. It worked. They are both straight-A students and doing well in classes. But we have been forced to turn to the DSS once against. My wife became hospitalized once against just before the oldest one was to have her confirmation and that is a critical point in her development, because it is tradition that she should start to drink alcohol. While the party itself went well, she hasn't attended any of the bag parties parents arrange for the teenagers. (I have to explain the concept. Because none of the parents want a binge drink party every family tag a bag with the name of the child. In each bag the amount of alcohol the child and the parent decided based on a combination of knowledge and experience, so the youth can learn his or her limits with adult guidance. In Denmark the law allows all 16 years old to purchase whatever they can afford, so there is only so much time. The law has been like that for 5-6 years because they want to lower the numbers of DUI's by showing the dangers of alcohol before the youth can drive (Limit: 18 yo)) We have an old saying "You can drag a horse to the water, but you cannot make it drink". We had numerous meetings with our family coach and she on behalf of our county is also concerned of the risk that our daughter would be caught up with at-risk youth. We are at war and right now a lot of our cities marked by riots and the burning of vehicles. Behind those cases of unrest is groups which drove through our streets on 9/11 celebrating that tragedy. So every youth lost to "Non-Danish" habits is a potential risk to our society and it concerns us parents. When people cannot socialize they cannot get a job or participate properly in higher education. They are kept out by both the employers and the colleagues. I dont want to raise social outcast and a threat to our society. I am a strong supporter in our war against terrorism. So I went to this forum to find strategies which could appeal her to attend parties, drink alcohol so she can be accepted among her peers instead of joing the mob throwing rocks against police and fireworkers. I know that most properly try is different, but my children are a product of the Danish society and we are another culture, but did you make your off-springs drink alcohol and attend parties?