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A sad and heartwrenching evening for difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 73687" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I don't know hoe important this is socially - can you take this to a discrimination complaints mob? Or do you want to walk away from it?</p><p></p><p>difficult child is going to cop this sort of discrimination. It is going to happen. You could either fight this, or knuckle under. Or even challenge the selector to at least admit he was taking the Tourette's into account in his decisions.</p><p></p><p>If you fight this, you send a message to difficult child to not accept these decisions and to not let people discriminate against him. You also teach him to get angry at this sort of thing.</p><p></p><p>If you choose to not fight this, you need to be sure you're not teaching difficult child that discrimination is OK. At some level difficult child WILL know (or suspect) that the unfair decision was because of his Tourette's. Should he learn to just roll over and take it? But then, should he also learn to let go and move on?</p><p></p><p>I'm not telling you what to do - you have to assess the situation for yourself. To fight something like this can get dirty, if you are forcing a weak person to confront their own weaknesses. Such people get nasty when cornered, but they also can be like a balloon suddenly deflated.</p><p></p><p>Me - I would be thinking of at least confronting the coach - "We abide by your decision but we know you made it on the wrong basis, you need to grow up and learn about Tourette's." But that's me. Another possibility - is there another group difficult child could join? If he gets cut from the A team too, I would definitely be kicking rear ends.</p><p></p><p>We have a lot of soccer played in Australia and recently there was a girl who wanted to play (and she was darned good) who was told she couldn't pay because she was a girl - it was obvious that was their reason - they said they could let her play now but as she reached puberty she wouldn't be able to play, because there are no girls in the older teams. Her parents fought the decision and won. The boys in the existing team were at first very resentful, until they played with her and found she really deserved to be there, they valued the added edge her presence gave the team.</p><p></p><p>It's difficult to live with discrimination. I've had to endure it all my working life, and had to find creative ways to cope. Directly kicking rear ends was not always the way to go - it antagonised people and made it even harder to work there - but I found other ways and won out. And a couple of times I walked away, I just didn't care enough to either fight it, or insist on my rights.</p><p></p><p>But if you care - if difficult child cares - it might be worth at least making a point. The payoff would be next season. Unless the guy is even more of a horse's rear (and shortsighted fool) than he already seems.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 73687, member: 1991"] I don't know hoe important this is socially - can you take this to a discrimination complaints mob? Or do you want to walk away from it? difficult child is going to cop this sort of discrimination. It is going to happen. You could either fight this, or knuckle under. Or even challenge the selector to at least admit he was taking the Tourette's into account in his decisions. If you fight this, you send a message to difficult child to not accept these decisions and to not let people discriminate against him. You also teach him to get angry at this sort of thing. If you choose to not fight this, you need to be sure you're not teaching difficult child that discrimination is OK. At some level difficult child WILL know (or suspect) that the unfair decision was because of his Tourette's. Should he learn to just roll over and take it? But then, should he also learn to let go and move on? I'm not telling you what to do - you have to assess the situation for yourself. To fight something like this can get dirty, if you are forcing a weak person to confront their own weaknesses. Such people get nasty when cornered, but they also can be like a balloon suddenly deflated. Me - I would be thinking of at least confronting the coach - "We abide by your decision but we know you made it on the wrong basis, you need to grow up and learn about Tourette's." But that's me. Another possibility - is there another group difficult child could join? If he gets cut from the A team too, I would definitely be kicking rear ends. We have a lot of soccer played in Australia and recently there was a girl who wanted to play (and she was darned good) who was told she couldn't pay because she was a girl - it was obvious that was their reason - they said they could let her play now but as she reached puberty she wouldn't be able to play, because there are no girls in the older teams. Her parents fought the decision and won. The boys in the existing team were at first very resentful, until they played with her and found she really deserved to be there, they valued the added edge her presence gave the team. It's difficult to live with discrimination. I've had to endure it all my working life, and had to find creative ways to cope. Directly kicking rear ends was not always the way to go - it antagonised people and made it even harder to work there - but I found other ways and won out. And a couple of times I walked away, I just didn't care enough to either fight it, or insist on my rights. But if you care - if difficult child cares - it might be worth at least making a point. The payoff would be next season. Unless the guy is even more of a horse's rear (and shortsighted fool) than he already seems. Marg [/QUOTE]
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A sad and heartwrenching evening for difficult child
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