klmno
Active Member
difficult child will be in psychiatric hospital at least until early next week. They include an educational component, unlike the acute psychiatric hospital he's been in before. I find it intereesting that PO said he didn't need to be in a psychiatric hospital and would not be going, yet judge felt difficult child needed to be evaluation'd, man at detention home was very concerned, difficult child was tdo'd the same day and I wasn't even there during the decision making- it was all based on the mental health evl'er after talking to difficult child- although I did tell her some things he had been saying and medications he had just switched around, and he is being kept. So why is it that PO is supoosed to be the one telling me what to do, like my desicions are bad ones and her's are better ones?
I am really struggling with this adamant feeling and thoughts that difficult child cannot come home if PO and her super are involved in our lives. I know he shouldn't be home right now due to his/our/home issues, and I am in agreement right now. But I also feelo like as long as we have a PO involved who tries to tell me how to run my household, ignore the mental health compononet, undermines my parental decisions, seems more interested in causing stress than reducing it, says I'm noncompliant if I don't tell her everything then makes poor decisions/orders when I do, and has a super who might be even worse about it, the stress level would remain very high and difficult child and I both have difficulty feeling like we are living under an axe all the time.
But I feel guilty feeling like I would be choosing to send my son someplace else rather than have PO in our lives. But then again, I honestly believe that she would back off him and whoever he was living with, if it just wasn't me. Then he would do so much better. I know people would see that as proof that I was the cause of the problem, but I'd just have to live with that, it is more importatn for difficult child to live in peace, with hope that he can turn things around and get off probation. And I absolutely have to get control of my house back. When people see this so out of control and assume it's because I let difficult child take over things at home, then order more demands at home, I am sitting here looking at it like it is all the outside demands telling me how to run my household while having to revolve some things around difficult child's mood cycling (like when I can sleep and work), and the stress because I can't do it all, that has left me feeling like I have no control in my house. I'm thinking that if they'd all take some of these demands and stressors a way for a bit, I could get it back in order.
It's ok- I'm waiting for BBK to send me directions to a place where I can feel less stress. (See WC)
I am really struggling with this adamant feeling and thoughts that difficult child cannot come home if PO and her super are involved in our lives. I know he shouldn't be home right now due to his/our/home issues, and I am in agreement right now. But I also feelo like as long as we have a PO involved who tries to tell me how to run my household, ignore the mental health compononet, undermines my parental decisions, seems more interested in causing stress than reducing it, says I'm noncompliant if I don't tell her everything then makes poor decisions/orders when I do, and has a super who might be even worse about it, the stress level would remain very high and difficult child and I both have difficulty feeling like we are living under an axe all the time.
But I feel guilty feeling like I would be choosing to send my son someplace else rather than have PO in our lives. But then again, I honestly believe that she would back off him and whoever he was living with, if it just wasn't me. Then he would do so much better. I know people would see that as proof that I was the cause of the problem, but I'd just have to live with that, it is more importatn for difficult child to live in peace, with hope that he can turn things around and get off probation. And I absolutely have to get control of my house back. When people see this so out of control and assume it's because I let difficult child take over things at home, then order more demands at home, I am sitting here looking at it like it is all the outside demands telling me how to run my household while having to revolve some things around difficult child's mood cycling (like when I can sleep and work), and the stress because I can't do it all, that has left me feeling like I have no control in my house. I'm thinking that if they'd all take some of these demands and stressors a way for a bit, I could get it back in order.
It's ok- I'm waiting for BBK to send me directions to a place where I can feel less stress. (See WC)