A smidge of appreciation and maturity? Fathers Day happy

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Star*, Jun 20, 2011.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Three weeks ago, completely out of the blue I received a text with a picture attachment from Dude. It was of a cards front and it said Happy Fathers Day. Right behind it I received another text, with a picture attachment of the inside of the same card signed by Dude. It was a nice, humurous card about borrowing tools, and putting them back in the right place (you could see the shadows on the wall where the tools were supposed to be correctly put back, and the tools were obviously put back wrong.) This is like DF's shop - outlines of his tools on pegboard, and Dude never putting them back correctly - a bone of contention between the two of them for years.

    Dude said simply "What do you think? Pretty funny huh? I wrote him a letter, on college ruled paper, front and 1/2 the back. Do you think he'll read it? I think he hates me."

    It's true, the two left each other at the train station with not so much as a nod, but hate? No. DF loves Dude like his own son. Fifteen years of living and raising a difficult child? You either leave or love. But not hate. Dislike for sure, maybe not understand each other. Butt heads for certain.

    In contrast Daddy Disney sent a letter by friend to Dudes house a week ago telling Dude he was going to be clean from drugs after jail, wanted him to forget the stuff that he's done to him so far, and if he wasn't 'man' enough to do so - #%_* him -he was done with trying. To recap, he's tried for years to hunt us down and kill us, then Dude looks him up, wants a relationship, he tries within 3 weeks to beat his own son with a ballbat and fists, gives him lessons on how to be a drug dealer, gives him no money, no help, no place to live, advises him to skip probation and that's backfired, asks him to take HIS sentence on his breaking and entering, begs him to bring him money in jail - he does, then when he gets out - comes to his house, throws out his paying room mates, moves in his drug buddies, trashes the house, lets his dog out on purpose to almost get killed, smashes a TV he fixed that he will never be able to replace, tries to beat him up again, gets arrested again, goes to jail, and begs again for money - and now says he wants a relationship - oh and some more money. Dude changed his phone number and told anyone if they gave it to daughter he would not be very happy. And no - he does not want a relationship, and he said the part where the man says "and if you don't want a relationship with me oh well that's because you aren't mature." he said "Wow this guy has issues." I just said "Well it sounds like it huh?" Then he said like the soup Nazi - NO CARD FOR YOU. and laughed. But I'm sure on some level it hurt.

    So yeah - THIS was a really nice surprise....and the real cool thing was a call last night.....because the card didn't come - it was mailed Wednesday - but didn't make it. Should come today - but he called to see if DAD liked his card. Then actually talked to DF for about 20 minutes - first time in a long time.

    It was a good Father's Day for a man that's waited a LONG time - and deserved it. He was smiling all day today.

    ...........and what did I get for Mothers Day -----oh that's right - a text with Ouixas picture made out of French Fries. lol -----and I framed it.

    Thanks for reading. Maybe our Dude is growing up?
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Star - this just made me grin from ear to ear.

    Being a stepparent - every single indication that these two children, not of my womb but of my heart - every last word said that tells me they love me - means so much more than I can explain - because, no, I don't have to love them - and they don't have to love me.

    Then again... The french fry picture is a one of a kind that only Dude could possibly think of...
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the smile. I needed that today. I'm still in the Dude support club. I really think he is going to be OK. DDD
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Thanks - sometimes it's just nice to know that someone still thinks he can make it that's been here and read all the - O.M.W.T.H is wrong with that kid ?

    Did I share the french Fry picture with you all? If not let me know and I'll do that thing we do to share it here. You gotta see it.
  5. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    What a wonderful post! He had to learn the hard way and it took him a while but he sees it all now. And that just goes to show you - a father isn't just the sperm contributor. A "father" (or "mother") is the person who loved you and cared for you, provided for you, worried about you, took responsibility for you and tried their best very to raise you to be a good, decent, upstanding person.

    But I don't remember seeing a french fry picture?
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I dont know if Dude will ever make it back to SC but he may get a good tan...lmao..

    (we arent planning on a side trip to fl are we)
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    OH MY GAWLLLLLLLDARN THELMA ------I'd love to go ta the beach! I eaaaaven got suntan lotion.
  8. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I don't recall a French fry picture. Nice work on Dude, sounds like all the work is starting to pay back. :)
  9. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Sounds like he is starting to REALLY think about things. Always good to see this and always good to be appreciated.
    It's a fabulous sign for HIM and healthy for the entire family.
  10. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    Yay Dude! Feels good to be appreciated and told about it, especially when like DF you've invested so much of yourself and didn't really think it would ever make an impression. As for Disney Dad, there ain't words for that level of selfishness.
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Ahhhh, the growing pains that boy has had..........

    But yeah, I think he's growing up. Personally he surpassed daughter years ago, he just didn't realize it until recently.

    I think Dude has also just learned that a real parent never stops loving you, no matter what.
  12. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    LOVE it!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!

    Shhh.....I sent difficult child a reminder text the night before not to forget to text husband on Father's day and she never responded to me, but she did send one to him. He came flying downstairs the other morning shocked and happy that she texted him. :)