I called my mom tonight - we talk every night. I hadn't had a chance to talk to her much since I got back from my grandmother's. She didn't really ask about my stay. I volunteered that it was nice to get away and just have a break. I then told her about the visit. My grandmother is a difficult child in her own right. She hangs onto things forever. She makes mountains out of molehills and she's always the one being wronged and she's always right. She's done some pretty nasty, hateful, vindictive things to my mother (while my parents were still married, no less). She's done some pretty spiteful things to me. She's done these things because she always gotten away with it. No one in the family would stand up to her. It's kind of this sick co-dependency thing between a bunch of unhealthy family members. When she pulled it with me, I walked away. I had no contact with her for years and when I did it was on my terms. In short, she's a drama junkie and she creates it at every opportunity. I told my mom how my grandmother brought up the T issue (Wynter's dad). She does almost every time I talk to her and I'm so tired of it. Like all of a sudden he's going to out of the blue try to contact Wynter. It's been 10 years since he's taken an interest in Wynter. My grandmother asked if I thought about having Wynter write him a letter. Ummm....NO. Why would I possibly do that? It would just get her hopes up and then she would be crushed. She then asked if she could write him a letter, I asked her, why does she do this. I told her that I don't dwell on these things. I don't let it eat me up because if I do, then it's going to eat up Wynter. I told her she needs to let it go and that I really don't want to talk about it again. There were a couple of things like that. She's been hanging on to a fight with her daughter in law (my uncle's wife) for 4 years now. She's kept the letter her daughter in law sent to her in the envelope since then. She pulled it out and wanted me to read it. I *know* she wanted me to say, oh daughter in law is horrible, blah, blah, blah. But, I read the letter (under durress) and couldn't say that. It wasn't terrible. The timing was atrocious because daughter in law chose to do this as my grandfather was dying and she should have waited. That was wrong, no if's, and's, or but's. But, that's not the issue my grandmother has - that's just an aside for her. And I didn't tell my grandmother what she wanted to hear. I told her exactly what I thought. If she didn't want to know, she shouldn't have asked. And I told these things to my mom. I told her that I know it bothers her that I have a relationship with my grandmother, but that I don't pull any punches. That I don't play her games the way my father and his brothers do. And because of that, I'm able to have a mostly pleasant relationship with her - except for a few things that come up here and there that I just redirect or simply say I'm not doing this. I really think that was all my mom needed to hear. I think maybe she felt a bit betrayed. Maybe a bit miffed that I would have this relationship after the stuff she pulled even with me. But, I told her that this is on my terms. That my grandmother knows that I don't pull any punches, that I don't take her carp and that I'm not afraid to speak my mind when she's railing about some perceived injustice. I joked with my mom....told her that yeah, it was nice to get away, but there was fun and games, too (meaning the above mentioned cases and a couple of others.) I guess I'm just getting my thoughts out. Since I was able to calm my mind a bit while I was away, I've been able to sort through things in my head. Of course, now though, I'm rambling. But, that's ok, too.