A Tantrum Over A Moth

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, Sep 7, 2012.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Really? A moth? This is what he's choosing to throw a fit about?

    easy child and I got home from football practice and I told easy child to take his cleats off on the porch so that he didn't track dirt and grass through the house. When he came into the house a moth flew in. I saw the moth sitting on the door and instead of opening the door and shooing the moth out, I killed it instead. Not sure why I did that. Just what my first instinct was. difficult child is having an absolute fit over the fact that I killed the moth. I "had no reason to kill it" and now I "need to apologize for killing it."

    Heaven, help me.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    been there done that. On both sides. You'd never believe what I used to be like as a kid.

    And yes, it IS worth a tantrum.
    You just might be giving difficult child a month's worth of nightmares - that would have happened to me, back then.

    Not easy parenting a difficult child.
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I would have killed it too. I HATE bugs. Truly, deeply, madly HATE them. Yes, I know they are good for the ecosystem and without them blah blah blah-dy blad, but I still HATE them and am afraid of them.

    Bugs that come into my home are suicidal. Period. This is what I tell my kids. husband would take them outside. he took the same dang spider outside six times one day and finally I insisted he kill it. From that point he has accepted that I will NOT change this point of view and he vastly prefers to deal with a bug one tme than to have me yelling for him to come deal with it six or seven times. I am NOT patient when a bug is near me. Not EVER. This means that husband must leave his computer game or wake up in the middle of the night to deal with the bug. So he tends to help me make sure there are not bugs in our home. Mostly because he hates to be called away from his computer or woken up from a sound sleep by the dulcet tones of me shrieking like someone is hacking at me with a butter knife.

    Sorry that difficult child had such a fit, but you can use the "the only bugs who come inside our home are suicidal" line if you think it would help wth difficult child.
  4. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I told him that bugs are wonderful creatures - as long as they are outside my house. Once they breach my walls they are fair game!

    Honestly, I think that the tantrum was just waiting to come out, and the moth was just as good a reason as anything else. easy child had practice last night and when we got home I made him hop in the shower, which upset difficult child because he wanted to play with him and buy the time easy child would get out of the shower it would be bed time. It was the end of the first week of school with homework and getting up early and making lunches and having to work hard to hold himself together all day long, which he did really well, even when he didn't have a locker for the first three days and had to carry all of his books and school supplies back and forth and all around school all day long.

    After the moth tantrum difficult child started demanding that I let the two of them have a sleepover in difficult child's room. I told him no, because he ranted at me about the moth and because easy child had been really nasty to me after his practice, and I was really not inclined to give either one of them anything extra, which sent difficult child even further over the edge. Screaming that they were going to do what they wanted, whether I liked it or not, I'm a *#(%#. F you, Mom. The whole nine yards. I was trying to put the blender away and while I had the box n my hands he pushed me into the wall. I should have called the police at that point, but I didn't because he backed off physically. He kept telling me that he was smarter and stronger and would always win against me, so just give him what he wanted and he would leave me alone.

    Finally, around 8:35 I told easy child to go and get his book because it was time for stories. difficult child went ballistic. Why are you reading to him now?? His bed time is 9:00 and THAT is when you start reading to him. That's how Dad does it. I calmly explained that when I am the one putting easy child to bed we read before bed time so that easy child actually makes it to bed at bed time (I have tried explaining this to husband, but it goes in one ear and out the other). So, easy child and I spent about 25 minutes reading together and by the time I got him to bed I peeked in on difficult child, who had retreated to him room during story time, and found him passed out on his bed.

    So much for him being smarter and stronger and always winning against me!

    This morning, the first thing he did was tell me that he was sorry. He didn't mean it, but that he was just in a bad mood. I told him that I accepted his apology. Then I reminded him that during his meltdown he pushed me, did he not. He said yes. I asked him I laid my hands on him at any point last night? He said no. I asked, "Not even AFTER you pushed me into the wall?" "No, mom." To which I told him that his action were unacceptable and that if he ever laid his hands on me again I would call the police and have him arrested. I could see he was not happy because I said this in front of his dad, who was not home last night during the tantrum. difficult child hates when his father find out that he did something really wrong. Does he think that I didn't tell his dad last night when he finally got home from work? Does he think we dont talk about these things?