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A Vent and Request for Advice
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 762117" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Hi there. Sorry you have to go through this. </p><p></p><p>First if all, in my opinion this is really between your husband and his son. It isn't really up to you in my opinion. To get try to fix either person is enabling. This is where I am coming from. I'm in a 12 step group and no longer tell others what they should do unless it affects me as well. Then I can set a boundary, but I don't always like the other person's reaction to my boundary. Still, if I am at stake I will get involved. "I can't live here if Kay is here." Then see what happens.</p><p></p><p>My own opinion on this stepson situation is that if I had a child diagnosed with both bipolar and schizophrenia that is extremely serious. Schizophrenia is a very intense thought disorder that often causes losing touch with reality. Bipolar can do that too. This is not somebody who will probably be able to care for himself. I am not sure I would be able to let a person with schizophrenia just go out on the streets without trying to find a good placement. He is different from many of the difficult adults here. His functional limits are probably poorer. It would help if he would get help but often the mentally sickest don't even u derstand they are sick. So it doesn't hurt to try.</p><p></p><p> Like all adults, however, the adult child.may still leave the shelter that is found for him and become homeless. It's common. We all have heard about all the homeless mentally ill and they tend not to get street savvy. It's very sad, a bad situation for all.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion let your husband and stepson do what they need to do. Your stepson is not misbehaving. He is very ill. In the end, sadly he may well end up one of the lost homeless. </p><p></p><p>But in my opinion it should not be up to you. Your husband in the end will be the one facing endless regret if he doesn't do what he feels he should. There are support groups for parents of mentally ill kids. Try NAMI. Look it up.</p><p></p><p>Ok, none of this means that your stepson needs to come home. If you feel you can't handle it or that he is unsafe set that boundary. "I can't live here with Name here." There are places for disabled adults. </p><p></p><p>This is jmo. Like I said, I do 12 step and unless something involves myself I was taught.not to interfere. It works for me. So I put it out there.</p><p></p><p>You have a rough situation and I hope you can all find peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 762117, member: 23706"] Hi there. Sorry you have to go through this. First if all, in my opinion this is really between your husband and his son. It isn't really up to you in my opinion. To get try to fix either person is enabling. This is where I am coming from. I'm in a 12 step group and no longer tell others what they should do unless it affects me as well. Then I can set a boundary, but I don't always like the other person's reaction to my boundary. Still, if I am at stake I will get involved. "I can't live here if Kay is here." Then see what happens. My own opinion on this stepson situation is that if I had a child diagnosed with both bipolar and schizophrenia that is extremely serious. Schizophrenia is a very intense thought disorder that often causes losing touch with reality. Bipolar can do that too. This is not somebody who will probably be able to care for himself. I am not sure I would be able to let a person with schizophrenia just go out on the streets without trying to find a good placement. He is different from many of the difficult adults here. His functional limits are probably poorer. It would help if he would get help but often the mentally sickest don't even u derstand they are sick. So it doesn't hurt to try. Like all adults, however, the adult child.may still leave the shelter that is found for him and become homeless. It's common. We all have heard about all the homeless mentally ill and they tend not to get street savvy. It's very sad, a bad situation for all. in my opinion let your husband and stepson do what they need to do. Your stepson is not misbehaving. He is very ill. In the end, sadly he may well end up one of the lost homeless. But in my opinion it should not be up to you. Your husband in the end will be the one facing endless regret if he doesn't do what he feels he should. There are support groups for parents of mentally ill kids. Try NAMI. Look it up. Ok, none of this means that your stepson needs to come home. If you feel you can't handle it or that he is unsafe set that boundary. "I can't live here with Name here." There are places for disabled adults. This is jmo. Like I said, I do 12 step and unless something involves myself I was taught.not to interfere. It works for me. So I put it out there. You have a rough situation and I hope you can all find peace. [/QUOTE]
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