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A void in my life…
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 762609" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Carri, </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">I have not seen my 42 year old borderline, addicted daughter and my two grandchildren for 5 years. This past week was my daughter and granddaughter's birthdays. Those are hard days. When I stopped enabling my daughter, she refused to have any contact with me, and she's been true to her word. </span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Honestly though, having her in my life was even more painful: the rages, the manipulation, the lies, the constant requests for money. I don't think she had the mental health to care one whit about the effect of her behaviors on me. I forgive her, I love her, and I miss my grandchildren very much, but I hear through the grapevine that nothing is improved with her. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">I also have a 36 year old son who I am trying to have no contact with. He is an addict who gaslights, is narcissistic, and is verbally abusive. Every time I thinks he's doing better, and I try to help, it always falls apart, and I am blamed. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Like New Leaf I experience waves of sadness, and in my weak moments I question if my detaching makes things worse, but honestly I know I did my best, tolerated what I shouldn't have, and I always will love them. Ultimately, I am not willing to be be treated badly. I am a good person, and I deserve to have a good life. They have their own higher power, and I am not it. What helps me is having a good support system, naranon and coda meetings in person and online, therapy, reading, self-care, and compassion for myself and my adult children.</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 762609, member: 19832"] [SIZE=3]Carri, I have not seen my 42 year old borderline, addicted daughter and my two grandchildren for 5 years. This past week was my daughter and granddaughter's birthdays. Those are hard days. When I stopped enabling my daughter, she refused to have any contact with me, and she's been true to her word. Honestly though, having her in my life was even more painful: the rages, the manipulation, the lies, the constant requests for money. I don't think she had the mental health to care one whit about the effect of her behaviors on me. I forgive her, I love her, and I miss my grandchildren very much, but I hear through the grapevine that nothing is improved with her. I also have a 36 year old son who I am trying to have no contact with. He is an addict who gaslights, is narcissistic, and is verbally abusive. Every time I thinks he's doing better, and I try to help, it always falls apart, and I am blamed. Like New Leaf I experience waves of sadness, and in my weak moments I question if my detaching makes things worse, but honestly I know I did my best, tolerated what I shouldn't have, and I always will love them. Ultimately, I am not willing to be be treated badly. I am a good person, and I deserve to have a good life. They have their own higher power, and I am not it. What helps me is having a good support system, naranon and coda meetings in person and online, therapy, reading, self-care, and compassion for myself and my adult children.[/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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