A whole day to work ... in the dementia ward

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
No. My mom was really a hard case. We had to get very creative. We had a side by side at that time and we got a zip tie thing that was for baby's to keep them out. She would still try to open the door though.

We did end up hanging a shower curtain in the doorway of my pantry though because even though we put a toddler knob on the doorknob sometimes someone would forget to shut the door and she would get in. With the shower curtain, she wouldnt go in because she thought it was the shower...lol.

Gosh the things we went through. She was jealous of the boys friends so she made faces at them. She would put her fingers in her ears, stick her tongue out and wiggle her fingers...lmao. One day we got home, (we had left Billy here with her), and she had got into someones make up. She had it all over her, the couch, the floor...everywhere.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Yeah...and she came right when Cory was at his worst, Jamie was feeling his oats and Billy had just graduated. My bipolar was pretty much out of control because I had just started the medication merry go round and my fibro and arthritis were not yet being anywhere near treated right. It was such a fun time.

When she first got here I started unpacking some of her stuff and I found a box of letters she sent to various people such as my Dad, my employers, CPS, the governor of my state, the IRS, the President and various other agencies telling them every rotten thing and any lie she could think of about me. I mean she was evil and mean. To listen to what she said I almost killed my kids, starved them, beat them daily, locked them up, was trying to overturn the USA, attempting to kill every president from Reagan to Clinton, never paid taxes, was trying to do every thing anti-american thing on earth. I was evil incarnate and I should be locked up.

I was just devastated. It wasnt so much that she sent this stuff to the governmental agencies...I figured they had a loony bin for her junk starting years ago because she often sent stupid letters but when she did it to my job attempting to get me fired...that hurt. And when she sent stuff to my dad telling him that I sold everything he ever gave me to buy drugs or to do other assorted things, that hurt me because how could I prove I didnt. If he sent me money for my birthday, how did I prove I went out to eat and didnt buy cocaine ya know? She would lie and tell him that the younger two boys broke toys he sent them when in reality she stole them. How could I prove that? I couldnt.

But these papers had all this junk in them where she gloated about it all. I just really got sick reading it. I mean sick. I couldnt look at the woman for probably 3 months after she came here. I had the doublewide set up on the land and we still had the single wide on the other lot. I put Billy and Jamie up with my mom in the double wide because I simply couldnt handle being with her after all the memories that box brought up...simply couldnt do it. I fixed meals down in the single wide and sent them up to them for all of them and they had the phone up there. At that point, Jamies girlfriend was there most of the time too. So for about 3 months the boys took care of her during the day and Tony went up at night to do it. I just couldnt. After three months we moved in and I got over being so upset. It just took me some time. I mean I gave up my job, my life and everything only to open a box and have that evil spill out...and she completely didnt even remember who I was or that she had ever had a baby. Denied completely even when looking at pictures of her holding a baby that she had a baby. That hurt so bad.

Guess I will never know why. Maybe because she never loved me my whole life and I at least hoped she would remember at some point that she had me. Its like I never even existed for her. Right now Im wondering if I existed at all for anyone.
 
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