A whole new world

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by missy44, Feb 23, 2009.

  1. missy44

    missy44 New Member

    Well, today I made an appointment for myself and my husband to talk to someone who knows a little something about drug issues. We're making plans for "help", detox and rehab, etc... for down the road if my son admits and/or wants help. We know it will need to be somewhere far from home because where he lives now and his friends are up to no good too.

    Mainly I want someone to ensure me that I'm doing the right things. I messaged my son last night on facebook (as I always do weekly) to tell that we love him, we're concerned and would he be interested in some help. Needless to say I received a pretty nasty note from him, I guess he isn't ready. I"m going to keep praying that someday he'll miss his family, his great life before drugs starting taking over. I still hope that he'll go back to college and continue his dream of becoming a history teacher, adn I pray that he'll go back to playing junior hockey next year, a sport where he really shines.

    Thanks for being there for me for the last while. It is so hard... I always try to tell myself that things could always be worse... but its still easy to play the pity game.

    I'll try to get on here and offer my advice when I can. What a great community, it's too bad we're all here under such sad, terrible circumstances.

  2. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Unfortunately it doesn't sound like he is ready....... until HE makes the choice rehab is difficult and almost a waste of money...... I have also read that most people attending rehab don't really change until about the THIRD time in rehab....... not a real pretty picture, but this wasn't YOUR choice....... it is totally up to him....... try to detach and live your own life...... this is what HE has done...... sorry I can't offer better news........ but do know what you are going through......
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Missy, I'm a person who always needs a plan in place. So I agree it's a good idea. As long as you keep in mind what WhymeMom said about it usually takes several attempts at rehab before progress is made. Keeping a realistic viewpoint isn't easy, but it does prevent you from entering situations that would wind up hurtful.

    I'm going thru this with my best friend. She's done rehab twice for heroine. She's on her 3rd try, this time as an outpatient. While I want more than anything for her to succeed, I seriously doubt she will. So far....she's doing it for everyone else, not herself. And that winds up in failure just about everytime.

    So, like my kids, I praise her when she's doing well. And I do tough love when she isn't. I don't gloss over because she needs to hear the harsh reality. But I'm careful not to preach. The only time I tell her the blunt truth is when she asks. The rest of the time I pray for her and go on with my life simply because I can't help her no matter how much I want to.

    You son is one lucky kid. Someday he will realize that.

  4. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    He'll come around. The waiting is hell. You are doing everything you can. Keep leaving messages, he knows that you will be there when he is ready.

    Smart to make plans ahead of time. This way when he does reach out most of the leg work is done and you can execute your plan.

    Keeping you in my thoughts! Hang in there. :)
  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Missy, I'm a plan maker, too. It gave me some reassurance to know that I had Plans A, B, and sometimes C being formulated. I think I was finally at about Plan Q before anything started working. ;)

  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Missy, good for you for formulating a plan and educating yourself about drug/acohol abuse, rehab, etc. I hope your son is ready soon. Hugs~
  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Missy, I am glad that you and your husband will be getting good advice on this horrid matter of drug addiction. I am also sorry that your son does not yet think he needs help or intervention with his drug lifestyle. He is so luck to have parents like you who do care and are willing to assist him with a recovery when he is ready. For now know that you did all that you could do. The rest is up to him. -RM