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...Aaaaand it just got worse
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 642635" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This is a disabled child who is also a difficult child. Bad combination. Did her birthmother drink while pregnant? Almost sounds like maybe she has been affected by drugs or alcohol in utero, in which case she will not be able to learn how to make good decisions. This is brain damage and she will need people to take care of her choices most of her life. She sounds very vulnerable and naive and I wonder if she is on the autism spectrum too or alone. Something is going on with her besides just being a disrespectful kid.</p><p></p><p>Step can be evaluated for Disablity, which puts you in touch with tons of services. It doesn't help all kids because even disabled kids have "rights" and they can't be totally watched, as if they were a minor child. My son with autism is on Disability, however he is not a difficult child and is doing well in services and doesn't really need much looking after. This child may need to live in a group home, but I do believe they can choose to leave the home.</p><p></p><p>I have no idea of this birthmother's history, but the care she took of herself while pregnant is very important. You will bang your heads against a wall trying to change anyone with brain damage from prenatal alcohol exposure. My son who has autism is adopted and his birthmother definitely took cocaine (it was in his system when he was born) and obviously if she would take cocaine she didn't say, "No, I"m not drinking tonight. I'm pregnant, remember?" We are lucky that our son is as functional as he is, considering all the strikes he had against him. These things affect each child differently.</p><p></p><p>That would explain stepdaughter's low IQ and mental delays. The #1 cause of mental retardation in the United States is the preventable disease of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum. It is best to have her evaluated by both her schools and outside professionals, such as a neuropsychologist, before she turns eighteen so that she can get all the help possible...Disability, job training, and housing out of YOUR home, but somewhere she can be helped. Even if her birthmother was a Saint when she was pregnant (and why do I doubt it?) this child still sounds as if she has a disorder that will require adult care for her.</p><p></p><p>I am tough on crime, but I'd never turn this particular child into the cops. They aren't going to help her one wit and I feel this particular child needs help more than a record. In the meantime, take precautions that are necessary when she is home and think of the possibility that maybe she can't help her behavior. If sh e is alcohol affected, these kids AND adults do not understand the meaning of right and wrong, which is why they are always in trouble...and they don't even know why. They also do not learn from their mistakes. Sometimes they don't even remember their mistakes. They are VERY hard to control or live with an d need outside help. Please do yourself and her a favor...and have her seen by your local Aging and Disabilities. Something sounds very "off" to me.</p><p></p><p>Dstc, Sonic is actually pretty capable, thank God. And he does learn from his mistakes and is not difficult. His IQ is in the normal range, but he has trouble figuring out certain things that other kids don't have trouble over...hard to explain. Autistic spectrum disorder is a bonafide disablity and he does qualify for services. I'm glad he has them <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 642635, member: 1550"] This is a disabled child who is also a difficult child. Bad combination. Did her birthmother drink while pregnant? Almost sounds like maybe she has been affected by drugs or alcohol in utero, in which case she will not be able to learn how to make good decisions. This is brain damage and she will need people to take care of her choices most of her life. She sounds very vulnerable and naive and I wonder if she is on the autism spectrum too or alone. Something is going on with her besides just being a disrespectful kid. Step can be evaluated for Disablity, which puts you in touch with tons of services. It doesn't help all kids because even disabled kids have "rights" and they can't be totally watched, as if they were a minor child. My son with autism is on Disability, however he is not a difficult child and is doing well in services and doesn't really need much looking after. This child may need to live in a group home, but I do believe they can choose to leave the home. I have no idea of this birthmother's history, but the care she took of herself while pregnant is very important. You will bang your heads against a wall trying to change anyone with brain damage from prenatal alcohol exposure. My son who has autism is adopted and his birthmother definitely took cocaine (it was in his system when he was born) and obviously if she would take cocaine she didn't say, "No, I"m not drinking tonight. I'm pregnant, remember?" We are lucky that our son is as functional as he is, considering all the strikes he had against him. These things affect each child differently. That would explain stepdaughter's low IQ and mental delays. The #1 cause of mental retardation in the United States is the preventable disease of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum. It is best to have her evaluated by both her schools and outside professionals, such as a neuropsychologist, before she turns eighteen so that she can get all the help possible...Disability, job training, and housing out of YOUR home, but somewhere she can be helped. Even if her birthmother was a Saint when she was pregnant (and why do I doubt it?) this child still sounds as if she has a disorder that will require adult care for her. I am tough on crime, but I'd never turn this particular child into the cops. They aren't going to help her one wit and I feel this particular child needs help more than a record. In the meantime, take precautions that are necessary when she is home and think of the possibility that maybe she can't help her behavior. If sh e is alcohol affected, these kids AND adults do not understand the meaning of right and wrong, which is why they are always in trouble...and they don't even know why. They also do not learn from their mistakes. Sometimes they don't even remember their mistakes. They are VERY hard to control or live with an d need outside help. Please do yourself and her a favor...and have her seen by your local Aging and Disabilities. Something sounds very "off" to me. Dstc, Sonic is actually pretty capable, thank God. And he does learn from his mistakes and is not difficult. His IQ is in the normal range, but he has trouble figuring out certain things that other kids don't have trouble over...hard to explain. Autistic spectrum disorder is a bonafide disablity and he does qualify for services. I'm glad he has them :) [/QUOTE]
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