He's officially an adult. He drives. He works full-time. He has some amazing skills. But he can't... - wash dishes. (Seriously, yes. Can't "feel" when they are clean.) - call in to correct a problem on his insurance - at least not without massive drama and tension and delay. - regulate emotion. He isn't officially "disabled". But... he can't live on his own, can't look after himself at this point. Dilemma. If we try to qualify him as disabled, to get access to more resources, then we have just handed him the right to give up on making any effort. If we don't... we won't survive financially, it's really hard on hubby's health, and ... unless he somehow grows up in the next 10 years and can take care of himself, what will happen when we aren't here? Dilemma two. He really shouldn't be in the city. The pace, the noise, the people - it takes a lot out of him to be there. But that's where his job is. Fewer jobs in the country. But... pace is right, whole setting is better. Aaarrrggghhh. (insert primal scream) I'm tired of having a million questions and no answers, zero support from anywhere, and a kid who is so sick and tired of "specialists" who (he's right, it's been the pattern) "don't know what they are doing and just make things worse"... so we can't even get him qualified as disabled if we wanted to.