Abbey is back...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Abbey, Feb 2, 2017.

  1. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Greetings! I haven't popped in here in a long time. For those who don't know me, I was the site originator another lifetime ago.

    Me... I have a new challenge of hopefully surviving Stage 4 throat cancer. Every day is a blessing and a challenge.

    difficult child. I never, in my wildest dreams thought I'd be writing this, but I think it's important for frustrated parents to hear. It took 29 years, 6 felony convictions, years in prison, severe heroine addiction, armed robbery, etc., for difficult child to finally get it.

    He moved to my state, Wisconsin, 2 1/2 years ago stating he wanted to change. We did not open our home or hearts to him. Call it been there, done that. He came with a federal warrant for trafficking across state lines and was the top dog of a statewide sting 6 months later. He spent 6 months in Wisconsin prison and was released early for good behavior.

    For the last two years I've watched him slowly struggle from ground up and face all the consequences his past afforded him. It was very heartbreaking to watch him struggle so badly. In that two years he has held a job, gone back to college, is like the pope of AA, and is living in a nice apartment by himself. Most important, though, is he's slowly earned the trust and love of the family. He is constantly reevaluating his past and has taken all ownership of everything he did. We have had many discussions about life. I constantly tell him how proud I am of him, but it's more important that he's proud of himself.

    He's become my default caretaker helping me when I'm too tired or driving me to endless doctors appointments. I looked at him the other day and said...who'd have thunk???

    So, hang tight guys. Protect yourself, do the best you can, but always be ready for a real change. It can happen.

    Love you all!!

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  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Abby, i so wish you well. Thanks for the message.

  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet


    So nice to meet you. Thanks for creating this forum. It has helped so so so many people, myself included.

    Wonderful news about your son!

    Prayers for your recovery. Sometimes I think the STRESS of what we go through can cause cancer. Stress is so hard on the body, especially as we get older.

    You are my hero!
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  4. Childofmine

    Childofmine one day at a time

    Abbey, thank you! What a wonderful post. I'm so happy for you and your family, and I hope and pray you will be okay through the throat cancer.

    My story with Difficult Child is much the same. He's now 27 and has 2.5 years of steady progress after 6 years of pure H___. Things can change!

    Thank you again!
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  5. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Oh Abbey -- I am absolutely THRILLED to see you here. I still remember the first time I felt really connected to this place -- it was when your Difficult Child was missing and your husband found him in the shopping mall and I remember I was so happy you had found him that I wept. Oh, that was such a long time ago.

    I am so sorry to hear that you have been fighting illness. It is heartening to read about your son, and I am so pleased he is able to give you support now. I wish him continued progress, and of course I wish you a full recovery.

    I will always always be grateful to you for this site.

    Love, Esther
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  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Welcome back dear heart!
  7. karisma

    karisma Member

    Thank you so much for starting this site. The support I found here last summer was exactly what I needed and could not find anywhere else. Learning about detachment has changed my life for the better.
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  8. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart for this site. It means the world to so many struggling parents. I'm sorry to hear of your illness, but what a joy that your son has come back from the darkness to help you now.
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  9. Ironbutterfly

    Ironbutterfly If focused on a single leaf you won't see the tree

    Thank you for this site. It has helped me so much. I pray for a great treatment and recovery program for you. So happy that your son has seen the light and changed his life around and is there now with you to help you through your illness.
  10. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Abbey. The first words I read were the Stage IV cancer. My heart sank. I could not have imagined I would be happy and smiling by the end of the post.

    What a marvel. Your son!!! I am so happy for you and for him.

    I too could never have survived the almost 2 years I have been here--without being here.

    What blessings you have created with your life. What a life purpose. I pray for your recovery.

    Thank you.
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  11. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    So sorry to hear about your cancer. Prayers for remission.

    How wonderful that after so many years your son it turning his life around. Gives me a spark of hope for mine.

    Blessings to you!!!
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am glad to see you but so sorry to hear you have cancer. I am glad your Difficult Child has turned his life around and is able to be the one caring for you. I know you cherish the time you have with him.

    My difficult one is just amazing these days. Has a full time job/career. Has goals, one of which is to get a house and to build a pen so that he can have a pet kangaroo. The local wild animal sanctuary that his grocery store donates the out of date produce to has give him full recommendations so I guess in a year or so I will have a grandbaby kangaroo as my first planned grandbaby. Or so the plans are today. Why a kangaroo? I have no idea. If anyone could be a good pack leader for one, it would be Wiz. But I never thought he would be doing as well today as he is way back when I came to this site. I don't think he would be without this site.
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  13. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Thank you all!

    I'm still chuckling about the kangaroo!!!
  14. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Administrator Staff Member

    Hey @Abbey

    Good to hear from you. Thank you for sharing your good outcomes about the issues with your son.

    I too had a cancer diagnosis in December 2015. Endometrial stage 1. Scared the :censored2: out of me. I respect your journey and admire your strength through such a difficult journey. Be well my friend.

    I will include your recovery in my thoughts and prayers. You have helped so many people. We all appreciate you. Be well.
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  15. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    I'm sorry to hear of your cancer. It sure has given me a new perspective on life. I'm nearly homebound as we've had the flu in this area twice, and a nasty stomach virus. Last thing I need is to get sick. I'm trying desperately to gain weight.

    Good luck on your venture!
  16. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    The funny thing is he thought I would be upset over the kangaroo. As a child the animal I loved most from Winnie the Pooh was Kanga. I had a stuffed one I loved to death and dragged everywhere, and the animal I wanted most as a pet was a kangaroo. So I am not pitching a fit. I don't think exotic animals are great in homes, but I realize that telling Wiz he can't do something is about as effective as spitting onto a forest fire to put it out. So I will hold my tongue and encourage him to do his research so that he can be as good a Kangaroo Dad as he can be.
  17. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    So glad your Difficult Child turned it around. I will pray for you to get well
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  18. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    Sooo sorry to hear about the cancer. (((hugs)))
    But very happy to hear that your son is doing MUCH better!!!!
    All the spork stuff ...LOLOLOL :)
  19. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    This site has been a life saver to so many people.
    Prayers for healing and peace.

    Love the news about son. We need to hear about positive outcomed.
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  20. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    Abbey, I wanted to add my best wishes for your recovery and also wanted to thank you for starting this place. I don't believe I would have survived the challenges with my son if I hadn't been able to connect with the great moms and dads around here. I am sure you have helped more people than you will ever know.
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