About to go into school and tear into th eguidance secretary

[StressedM0mma]

difficult child just told me on the way home from the Dr. that she doesn't want to go into guidance to speak with her counselor because the secretary is mean and doesn't like her. I told her I thought she was just getting worked up over nothing. So difficult child said "NO MOM she was saying mean things about me when you went with G.C. to talk to school psychiatric about classes." difficult child proceeds to tell me that the secretary didn't know difficult child was in the conference room and was talking about difficult child to another teacher and difficult child heard her. She told someone that my difficult child had ruined the guidance counselors day, and she can't stand when [arents come in to whine about their kids problems.
I am going to go into school and have a nice little chat with this woman. She now has my anxiety riddled daughter afraid to go to the one place she felt safe to go to. Why do people like this even work in the school system. Time to send out the emails to the guidance counselor and administration.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Ideally, difficult child would have told therapist this... and therapist would back you up. The more guns you have behind you, the bigger the fireworks get. It's worth it.

 

[StressedM0mma]

IC, I started to say it is not her therapist, but I guess the school psychiatric is a therapist of sorts. I wish she would've spoken up as well. I am just sad for her that it happened. She worries so much about what other people think of her, and she gets embarrassed so easily. And, I think it is just plain wrong to gossip about students. Especially during school hours while students are walking in and out of your office. (and while said student is sitting around the corner)
She doesn't even want me to talk to anyone about it, because she doesn't want the secretary to hate her even more. And, now she is even more afraid to go and make the last changes she needs to do with her schedule.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Do NOT do this by email. It will backfire. I got burned with this kind of thing once.

You need an advocate, and a meeting with top school admins plus the guidance counsellor. The advocate is critical. Someone with clout. This is a gross invasion of privacy and is a serious issue - and then, 100x worse when the student has known mood-disorder issues besides. And then... on top of that... in my opinion... another multiplier effect because it wasn't even a class-room aide or someone fairly localized. If you're working in the counselling office, your lips are zipped 100% of the time or else.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Thanks IC. I just now have to find an advocate. I am just dumbfounded by the entire thing. And, I am sure she figures she is safe, because no one will believe a student over her. Esp. a difficult child. But, she guessed wrong. difficult child may frustrate me to death every.single.day. but, she is my kid, and I will stand in her corner always.

 

[DaddyW]

If you are going to confront the school...do this...place everything in your complaint in a written letter; times, dates, incidents, names...any detail you can think of and file a report. Send it...CERTIFIED MAIL RETURENED RECEIPT REQUESTED. That makes it a legal document and they WILL respond. Email does not carry the weight of a written letter, but sending it certified mail, returned receipt requested also sends them a message....in their mind..it says you are about to get a lawyer. That is often the only thing that makes a school offical take you seriously.

 

[lonelyroad]

God just another thing to go wrong, hang in there!!! My daughter now also feels she can't go into guidance, they told her that this week there would be no support, so now she is also upset..

Also, when in the school office she used to hear a lot of interesting things, that kids shouldnt hear, lol..

hang in there you arent alone..

 

[InsaneCdn]

Lonely - is your difficult child in an IEP? If not, she needs it. She NEEDS support. But it sounds like school isn't going to give her any unless you force their hand.

 

[DammitJanet]

This isnt uncommon. I used to hear tons of things while sitting in the principals office waiting on stuff having to do with Cory. I spent so much time there they considered me a potted plant I think and just felt free to talk about anything.

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh, no! That's awful.
Not professional at all. I am so sorry for your daughter, and for the position it places you in.
I agree, I would not send an email.
And I would rehearse what I say before meeting with-the secretary, as well as ensure that her supervisor is in the room when you have the meeting.
Best of luck.