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Abused children who love thier parents dearlyuntil the end
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 633116" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>My parents were not abusive. Mom had a temper, but I don't think being slapped two or three times in my entire life counts as abuse (especially since one time I remember clearly I completely deserved much worse). They were also not neglectful.</p><p></p><p>My Dad was the middle child, eldest boy, and my Grandma was a gym teacher and Grandpa a workaholic. Dad was a difficult child... Back then he was considered "fast". But he outgrew it. (For comparison purposes, my grandparents each had one sibling; Grandpa's father was a bootlegger and his mother had run off. I did get to know my Grandma's parents and they were LOVELY people.)</p><p></p><p>My Mom was an only child; each of her parents had eight siblings. Grandpa was a Marine in WWII and had grown up literally in a mud house as a farmer. Grandma came from Oklahoma to New Mexico in a covered wagon (no joke, and this was the 1930s). 13 months after my mother's birth, Grandma gave birth to her first son, who only lived 4 days, and about 18 months after that, her second son, who was stillborn (and they knew he was deceased before her body gave up). Grandma was... A bit strange. But - she ADORED me. I think part of it was she felt guilty because she wasn't able to be there as much for my Mom... She turned to pills and alcohol to dull the pain of loss. So Mom was a little bit neglected.</p><p></p><p>All of that, though, to bring this up. My maternal grandfather's younger brother Jack was beaten very badly by their father and died the next day from a head injury. Back then (1930s) it wasn't considered abuse to beat children... I don't know how they explained Jack's death, though. But my Grandfather would have done anything for his father.</p><p></p><p>Fast forward sixty years, and you have my Belle - who was emotionally, physically and sexually abused by her mother, grandmother and mother's friends/boyfriends/husband; and Pat, who was emotionally abused and neglected. Belle is completely consumed with biomom; she recently spent a week in solitary for refusing to work on the anniversary of biomom's death. Pat, on the other hand, has started opening up and the things he witnessed horrify me. I wish I didn't have to hear it, but he needs to say it so I will listen. But there's no codependency there. I don't know if it is because he met me so much younger and I treated him differently than bio, or because his was mostly neglect, or he's a boy, or what.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 633116, member: 6705"] My parents were not abusive. Mom had a temper, but I don't think being slapped two or three times in my entire life counts as abuse (especially since one time I remember clearly I completely deserved much worse). They were also not neglectful. My Dad was the middle child, eldest boy, and my Grandma was a gym teacher and Grandpa a workaholic. Dad was a difficult child... Back then he was considered "fast". But he outgrew it. (For comparison purposes, my grandparents each had one sibling; Grandpa's father was a bootlegger and his mother had run off. I did get to know my Grandma's parents and they were LOVELY people.) My Mom was an only child; each of her parents had eight siblings. Grandpa was a Marine in WWII and had grown up literally in a mud house as a farmer. Grandma came from Oklahoma to New Mexico in a covered wagon (no joke, and this was the 1930s). 13 months after my mother's birth, Grandma gave birth to her first son, who only lived 4 days, and about 18 months after that, her second son, who was stillborn (and they knew he was deceased before her body gave up). Grandma was... A bit strange. But - she ADORED me. I think part of it was she felt guilty because she wasn't able to be there as much for my Mom... She turned to pills and alcohol to dull the pain of loss. So Mom was a little bit neglected. All of that, though, to bring this up. My maternal grandfather's younger brother Jack was beaten very badly by their father and died the next day from a head injury. Back then (1930s) it wasn't considered abuse to beat children... I don't know how they explained Jack's death, though. But my Grandfather would have done anything for his father. Fast forward sixty years, and you have my Belle - who was emotionally, physically and sexually abused by her mother, grandmother and mother's friends/boyfriends/husband; and Pat, who was emotionally abused and neglected. Belle is completely consumed with biomom; she recently spent a week in solitary for refusing to work on the anniversary of biomom's death. Pat, on the other hand, has started opening up and the things he witnessed horrify me. I wish I didn't have to hear it, but he needs to say it so I will listen. But there's no codependency there. I don't know if it is because he met me so much younger and I treated him differently than bio, or because his was mostly neglect, or he's a boy, or what. [/QUOTE]
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