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Abused children who love thier parents dearlyuntil the end
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 633134" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm actually talking about physical abuse to the point that the parent has broken your bones, refused to take you to the hospital, sometimes starved you and isolated you from the world, locked you in closets maybe, done sexual abuse, that sort of thing. It's these extremes that boggle my mind. The kids tend to bolt from home at 18, but they are there at t he end, often forgiving and understanding. I can't wrap my mind around that.</p><p></p><p>Having a temper and emotional abuse...my dad is like that and we have a relationship. I can always choose not to listen or to leave and he is always sorry. I know he loves me. That's the key. These parents I'm talking about didn't love anyone and were probably antisocial personality disordered yet when they were needy they called their kids, demanded their kid's devotion and got it!!!! The abusive people I'm talking about never ever apologized and many, when the adult kids confronted them, said that extreme beating and sexual abuse never happened and that they were crazy and this is why they got "spanked." When it is this extreme, to me it seems as if one is excusing an evil monster.</p><p></p><p>If they don't ask for forgiveness, they aren't sorry as in the woman who was caring for her elderly mother as the mother slapped her from the wheelchair and reduced her to feeling like a naughty child all over again. I have no clue why she put up with it and kept doing it. I do think codependency is one reason. "If I don't do it, nobody will and she IS my mother, even though she acted more like she hated me..." Hey, I don't get it, which is why I asked.</p><p></p><p>But it does seem ironic since the majority of us were very giving and kind to our difficult children and we didn't get it back. Weird, really. If parents abuse their kids are they so needy and battered down that they are more apt to be NICE to their parents than parents who have done everything we can for our kids and love them to death...and our kids know it? I often think about that. The worst parents who don't even seem to care often have the most devoted adult children...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 633134, member: 1550"] I'm actually talking about physical abuse to the point that the parent has broken your bones, refused to take you to the hospital, sometimes starved you and isolated you from the world, locked you in closets maybe, done sexual abuse, that sort of thing. It's these extremes that boggle my mind. The kids tend to bolt from home at 18, but they are there at t he end, often forgiving and understanding. I can't wrap my mind around that. Having a temper and emotional abuse...my dad is like that and we have a relationship. I can always choose not to listen or to leave and he is always sorry. I know he loves me. That's the key. These parents I'm talking about didn't love anyone and were probably antisocial personality disordered yet when they were needy they called their kids, demanded their kid's devotion and got it!!!! The abusive people I'm talking about never ever apologized and many, when the adult kids confronted them, said that extreme beating and sexual abuse never happened and that they were crazy and this is why they got "spanked." When it is this extreme, to me it seems as if one is excusing an evil monster. If they don't ask for forgiveness, they aren't sorry as in the woman who was caring for her elderly mother as the mother slapped her from the wheelchair and reduced her to feeling like a naughty child all over again. I have no clue why she put up with it and kept doing it. I do think codependency is one reason. "If I don't do it, nobody will and she IS my mother, even though she acted more like she hated me..." Hey, I don't get it, which is why I asked. But it does seem ironic since the majority of us were very giving and kind to our difficult children and we didn't get it back. Weird, really. If parents abuse their kids are they so needy and battered down that they are more apt to be NICE to their parents than parents who have done everything we can for our kids and love them to death...and our kids know it? I often think about that. The worst parents who don't even seem to care often have the most devoted adult children... [/QUOTE]
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