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Abused children who love thier parents dearlyuntil the end
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 633142" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think all of you have a point. I certainly tried hard to mend the unmendable with my mother, although I stopped doing it before she got sick with brain cancer and died and therefore didn't run down to Illinois to take care of her and be her hero at the end. She wouldn't have changed how she felt about me even if I had. I'm glad I didn't do it. However, for years I tried to make amends. In my case, however, I believe in karma and an afterlife and if you don't deal with things on this plane you do it afterward. I wanted to do my best here and now. It didn't work...I guess I'll deal with her later.</p><p></p><p>Although my mom was mean and even wicked to me, though, she never beat me, locked me in closets, starved me and nobody sexually abused me. I am not sure I'd be looking for approval from anyone who had gone that far. I have learned early in life to detach from situations to a point...I was bullied pretty bad as a kid and had some very creative defense mechanisms I used. I don't think I was needy enough to take care of a woman who didn't even visit me when I had major surgery and who never sent my kids even a birthday card. Interestingly, my sister had a strong need to have approval from Mother so she did all she could to get it. But that just wasn't me.</p><p></p><p>So...now the other question is, why do so many kids with great parents, who have a tendency to be not-so-nice, abuse their kind, caring parents? Do these abused kids secretly respect those who beat them, sexually abused them or starved them? And do our difficult children see us as weak for catering to their whims? I don't have an answer. Of course, even some PCs end up treating us like crapola. Why?Is it because they are sure we love them so they don't have to look for crumbs? Why do so many children try to punish their loving parents, even easy child kid? While most of us have been abused only by difficult children, a good enough amount of us have had our PCs turn on us too (in my case...Scott was very easy child growing up). Why would they ever want to hurt us so badly?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 633142, member: 1550"] I think all of you have a point. I certainly tried hard to mend the unmendable with my mother, although I stopped doing it before she got sick with brain cancer and died and therefore didn't run down to Illinois to take care of her and be her hero at the end. She wouldn't have changed how she felt about me even if I had. I'm glad I didn't do it. However, for years I tried to make amends. In my case, however, I believe in karma and an afterlife and if you don't deal with things on this plane you do it afterward. I wanted to do my best here and now. It didn't work...I guess I'll deal with her later. Although my mom was mean and even wicked to me, though, she never beat me, locked me in closets, starved me and nobody sexually abused me. I am not sure I'd be looking for approval from anyone who had gone that far. I have learned early in life to detach from situations to a point...I was bullied pretty bad as a kid and had some very creative defense mechanisms I used. I don't think I was needy enough to take care of a woman who didn't even visit me when I had major surgery and who never sent my kids even a birthday card. Interestingly, my sister had a strong need to have approval from Mother so she did all she could to get it. But that just wasn't me. So...now the other question is, why do so many kids with great parents, who have a tendency to be not-so-nice, abuse their kind, caring parents? Do these abused kids secretly respect those who beat them, sexually abused them or starved them? And do our difficult children see us as weak for catering to their whims? I don't have an answer. Of course, even some PCs end up treating us like crapola. Why?Is it because they are sure we love them so they don't have to look for crumbs? Why do so many children try to punish their loving parents, even easy child kid? While most of us have been abused only by difficult children, a good enough amount of us have had our PCs turn on us too (in my case...Scott was very easy child growing up). Why would they ever want to hurt us so badly? [/QUOTE]
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