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Abusive adult daughter wants me to save her again
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 703899" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>NanaKaye, welcome. I'm sorry you are going through so much heartache with your daughter.</p><p></p><p>You're faced with a difficult choice, one which many of us here have faced as well. It may be prudent for you to step back, refrain from responding just yet and to seek counseling and support for yourself first. You might start with contacting NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental illness. You can reach them online and they have chapters in most major cities. They offer excellent courses for us parents which will give you guidance, information, resources and support. You've been at this a long time and often we forget how to take care of ourselves in the face of the dramatic needs of our adult kids. NAMI may also offer you choices with your daughter that you have not considered yet.</p><p></p><p>You might also find a counselor or therapist for yourself so you have a safe place to go to feel heard and find compassion......this is a challenging path we're all on and often it requires quite a bit of professional support for us to find our own peace and our own joy in the midst of the devastation our difficult kids bring to our door.</p><p></p><p>It becomes necessary for us to enact strong boundaries around our kids behaviors and choices. You might read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. It all gets complicated when there are innocent grandkids involved. I know, I raised my granddaughter because my adult daughter was not capable of raising her. However, I also implemented many stringent boundaries around my daughters behavior. In your case, your daughter's striking you is <u>absolutely not okay</u> and I would give much thought to allowing her to live with you when you have that history with her. Along with the verbal abuse, you really have to consider how much of that kind of behavior you are willing to tolerate. You should not tolerate any of it. Be very cautious.</p><p></p><p>This is extremely hard stuff NanaKaye, proceed with extreme caution. Get immediate support for yourself. Keep posting, it helps. You're not alone, we get it here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 703899, member: 13542"] NanaKaye, welcome. I'm sorry you are going through so much heartache with your daughter. You're faced with a difficult choice, one which many of us here have faced as well. It may be prudent for you to step back, refrain from responding just yet and to seek counseling and support for yourself first. You might start with contacting NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental illness. You can reach them online and they have chapters in most major cities. They offer excellent courses for us parents which will give you guidance, information, resources and support. You've been at this a long time and often we forget how to take care of ourselves in the face of the dramatic needs of our adult kids. NAMI may also offer you choices with your daughter that you have not considered yet. You might also find a counselor or therapist for yourself so you have a safe place to go to feel heard and find compassion......this is a challenging path we're all on and often it requires quite a bit of professional support for us to find our own peace and our own joy in the midst of the devastation our difficult kids bring to our door. It becomes necessary for us to enact strong boundaries around our kids behaviors and choices. You might read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. It all gets complicated when there are innocent grandkids involved. I know, I raised my granddaughter because my adult daughter was not capable of raising her. However, I also implemented many stringent boundaries around my daughters behavior. In your case, your daughter's striking you is [U]absolutely not okay[/U] and I would give much thought to allowing her to live with you when you have that history with her. Along with the verbal abuse, you really have to consider how much of that kind of behavior you are willing to tolerate. You should not tolerate any of it. Be very cautious. This is extremely hard stuff NanaKaye, proceed with extreme caution. Get immediate support for yourself. Keep posting, it helps. You're not alone, we get it here. [/QUOTE]
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Abusive adult daughter wants me to save her again
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